Do you have kids headed off to college this year? It’s so weird to imagine your kids going from your house to a small 15×15 room that they share with a stranger…maybe that’s just me being on the brink of an emotional breakdown talking? Even if it is, your student is going from having their own room {or sharing with siblings} to sharing with someone they hardly know. The are also putting their life into half of a small room…it will be their kitchenette, study, sleeping quarters, living room all wrapped up into a tiny space.
If you have a student whose about to transition into dorm living, here are a couple of tips to help make it an easier:
- Don’t bring too much stuff. There just isn’t space and it will make a cramped room seem even tighter.
- If you have planned to room with a friend, make sure you have really talked through your expectations. {Anyone that has been married can tell you how difficult it can be to cohabitate–and that’s in a house, not just a single room}. Living together places strains on the relationships {especially for girls}, so make sure you understand each others habits and will be compatible.
- Again, because space is limited, call your roommate to-be and agree on “shared” items. Maybe one person can bring a mini-fridge and the other a microwave.
- Set a password lock on your computer. You computer houses your private information, there is no reason roommates or other dorm inhabitants need access to it.
- Work out a schedule with your roommate and be flexible. Study times, t.v. times, etc. Those will all have to be compromises.
- Study in the library or common areas of the school when roommates are getting on your nerves. Tensions can run high when people are in tight quarters and/or have school deadlines. Avoiding spending every waking moment in the dorm room will give each party a break.
- If homesickness sets in, prop open the door and force yourself to get to know other people on your floor. It’s hard to start over, but the sooner you feel like you aren’t alone, the better the homesickness gets.
- Take move-in day seriously. College is demanding. Move in day is for actually UNPACKING everything and getting settled. If you put it off, you will be forced to dig through boxes when you should be working on a term paper.
- Bring headphones–like good ones. Headphones are courteous–because your roommate may not want to listen to your music, BUT they can also block out minor annoyances. Can you say heavy breather or the sound of nail biting, anyone?
- If you have friends over to your dorm room, make sure they adhere to “house rules.” {i.e. Don’t let them raid your roommates snack stash or invite them over when the roomie is already asleep.
Do you have any dorm room tips? Or worse, any dorm room nightmares that you had to learn to deal with the hard way?
~Mavis
Beks says
I was fortunate my first year of college to get my own room (and bathroom once my suitemate dropped out), and I got along well with my suitemate the second year (Until tensions rose, and there was a huge blow up with our entire group of friends, which has since been mended). My senior year, my suitemate was the biggest drama queen in the world, and I regret living near her, and with her once we graduated.
When making a roommate decision, remember the bad days with the person, and if you can let the bad days go (seriously), then live with the consequences.
BC says
I never actually lived in a dorm but I have lived in almost every other variation of communal living: on campus apartment (4 people in two rooms), 5 room house with 5-7 of my lady friends for several years, host family x2, 12-14 people on summer staff communal living, renting the basement room of someone’s weekend home that they visit regularly (share communally spaces), and now with my hubby of almost 5 years.
What I have learned in addition to what you mentioned:
It feels awkward to discuss details and expectations when nothing is going wrong but it is more awkward to bring it up once you are.
When there is tension or full conflict, ask yourself: Is it more important to be right and get my way, or preserve the relationship and keep the peace?
Earplugs, eye-covering, easy healthy snacks,
A travel sized french press or tea thermos so you can use the hot water at the on campus eateries (ask first) without having to use your food plan money (if it isn’t all inclusive). I would allow myself one “fancy” coffee a week and brought my own coffee grounds the rest of the time.
Less for dorm but great for post-dorm college life: My mom and I would have a big day of cooking a bunch of healthy single serving food to pull out of the freezer when I was busy and those have been a God-send; in fact at the age of thirty, both my hubby and I are back in school and she and I still do a cooking day about twice a year (now I pay for the groceries) 🙂
Find a comfy, homey place away from your roommate and campus where you can breathe whether it is a hike, a park, the home of a family you meet through the community/church/etc. that has some distance from school.
It’s easier to be outgoing and meet lots of different people right at the start, don’t sit back and wait for others to come to you, go be bold!
Have fun! The roommate I was randomly placed with my first year at university (after a year of community college) just came to visit me last weekend and we realized that next month is our ten year friend-iversary. It all started as roommates and she has since stood next to each other on our respective wedding days and been involved in the highs and lows of each others lives. I wouldn’t give up that time of my life for anything! Godspeed girl!
Mavis Butterfield says
Awww I love all those tips. 🙂
Shannon says
Don’t hang anything from the sprinklers in the room – they can be activated that way, causing damage to the building you’ll be responsible for fixing.
Talk about problems or issues asap. Don’t let them build up so that they blow up expectantly.
Make your bed. It’s your couch, so make it inviting for friends to sit on.
Keep track of your key card to your dorm.
Mavis says
I totally didn’t know that about the sprinklers!!
Heidi says
My dorm roommate first year was a smoker, but didn’t want her parents to know, so she signed up for a non-smoking room. This was in the 80’s when people thought that smoking wasn’t a big deal. I wouldn’t have cared if she hadn’t smoked in the room. Oh well. The biggest lesson I learnt from a roommate was in my 4th year of university when my roommate borrowed my car and then totalled it. When I asked her for the money to pay for the increased insurance costs and perhaps a little to help me buy a new car, she never spoke to me again. This was awkward because we were by that time both teachers working at the same school! Anyway, I’ve forgiven her. My advice is before you lend something, make sure that both people agree what will happen if the thing gets broken.
Mavis says
She seriously wrecked your car?! Oh man!
Katie says
Many schools have a process where you have to complete a roommate agreement/contract and talk through things that might come up as issues (guests, trash, noise, food, etc.) and how you want to manage these things. It will normally suggest you talk in advance about how to bring up issues of things not working. These contracts are usually done at the beginning of the year when everyone thinks that there won’t be any problems! So, they don’t take the seriously. My advise is…take it seriously. It can ward off a lot of problems and provide a roadmap for solving problems that come up.
Katie says
Advice (:))
Sandra says
1. Don’t date people on your floor. If/when there is a breakup, it makes every trip down the hall awkward.
2. Don’t do other people’s laundry. (This was advice from my mother, who told me not to do a boy’s laundry. I passed this tip to my daughter.) I was asked many times to do a boy’s laundry. I offered to teach them how, but they didn’t want that – they wanted free labor. My daughter found the same thing. Some of her friends fell for it and ended up being laundresses, when they thought they were being girlfriends.
(Funny story – I went to college during a time when there was huge influx of foreign students – mostly from the Middle East. These guys had never done laundry or seen it done. At the beginning of each year, the laundry room was undergoing repairs because the foreign students would dump the entire box of laundry soap in the washer and flood the basement! The school eventually had a “how to do laundry” poster made in several languages.)