Hospitals are the pits. Unless someone is having a baby, you typically find yourself in a hospital waiting room because of an illness, accident or surgery; not anyone’s idea of fun. Hospital waiting rooms are even worse. Or are they? If you find yourself playing the waiting game, here are some wildly productive ways to kill some time. Once you’ve implemented them, you might just want to kick back and stay awhile.
1. Count ceiling tiles. If the room you are in does not have ceiling tiles, relocate to a room that does. All you’ve got is time, right? {We do not condone looking for ceiling tiles in strictly off-limit rooms. Those rooms can be found by paying attention to the STAY OUT or AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY signs. Wouldn’t want you wandering into a sterile OR and getting sued or anything}. *My lawyer made me say that.
2. Drink stale coffee.
3. Wander to the vending machine. Look at each item and try to estimate how many laps you’d have to walk around the waiting room to burn off the calories in that particular treat. Buy a Kit Kat and then do walking lunges back to the waiting room, figuring that should suffice.
4. Speaking of lunges, walk some hospital laps. Get some exercise and maybe even challenge your brain. Most floors are like intricate confusing mazes, so it’s like the hospital wants to play a game with you. No need for a corn maze to get lost in when you have the Peds floor.
5. Host a Hospital Art Scavenger Hunt. You can even get some of the other waiting room patrons involved. Divide into teams. See who can find the calming ocean print first? Who will rapidly spot the glowing sunset pic? Who will be the lucky one to spot the vase of flowers before anyone else? Award prizes from the vending machine.
6. Drink stale coffee.
7. Read all the things. The entire book you brought. The day old newspaper on the coffee table. Every sign in the vicinity—even the fine print. The 6-month-old copy of Sports Illustrated. Might be the first time you’ve ever picked up a copy of Sports Illustrated, but that’s what hospital waiting rooms encourage you to do: try new things. Branch out of your comfort zone.
8. Give up on Sports Illustrated and head down to the overpriced gift shop to buy a new book. Leave with a beanie baby collection and a glass Precious Moments figurine.
9. Play the Alphabet Game. You’re in the only place on earth you can easily get “X” so you’ve got to take advantage of it. Those X-ray signs are everywhere.
10. Drink stale coffee.
11. Search for a bathroom. Get lost while searching and realize that the jokester hospital wasn’t done playing after all.
12. Take a few joyrides up and down the elevator. Prep the newbies riding with you before they head into the hospital. You’re the pro now. Show them around. Tell ’em where all the good candy machines are located. Share all your insider info with them. Be the hero.
13. Drift into a fitful sleep across the rock hard seats you’ve scooted together into a “bed.” Wake up to your handy dandy copy of Sports Illustrated stuck to your face. You now have an inky image of some guy named Rob Gronkowski plastered across your cheek. Rub the sleep from your eyes and head to the vending machine for breakfast.
Hospitals are awesome. Who knew?
~Mavis
For those of you who have asked or sent emails asking about my brother; he has stage 4 colon cancer and all I have to say about that is… it sucks. Cancer sucks. 🙁
Be thankful you are healthy. Do something nice for someone. You have no idea what the person standing next to you in the checkout line or at work is going through.
Kristina says
Oh, Mavis. I’m so sorry. Peace to you and your family.
Teresa says
A quiet prayer for healing, peace and comfort for your brother and family. My brother has stage 4 breast cancer. I understand. Prayers.
Jane says
I’m so sorry. That is such a hard road to walk. My prayers to you and your family, Mavis.
Julie says
I’m so sorry Mavis. Prayers to you and your family.
Linda says
Cancer sucks. Take care of yourself and your family.
Mrs. C.m says
I’m so sorry, Mavis. You are an inspiration and a bright spot in my day. Prayers for you and your family.
Ashley says
Hugs and prayers to you and yours. Family is very important and powerful in times like these. Take care.
Stephanie Hughes says
I am so sorry about your brother. Prayers coming your way.
janet in woodway says
Mavis, I will pray for your brother, you and your family. I’m sorry. Good health is so important and such a blessing.
Take care friend!
Elise says
Mavis, I, too, am so sorry to hear about your brother. Please take comfort where you can. We’re all thinking of you (and him now).
Peace,
E.
Teri says
Cancer sucks big time. Prayers for your brother and you and family.
Nancy from Mass says
Sorry to hear about your brother. Saying a prayer for your family.
And yes, “always be kind to one another, you have no idea what they are going through” is a saying i try to live by. (people have no idea what i’m going through)
Dev says
Cancer sucks! So sorry!
Edith says
I’m so sorry to hear about your brother! Cancer sucks. It really sucks. Prayers going your way.
Laura says
Oh Mavis, that is so hard. We will be keeping your brother in our thoughts and prayers.
Laura Z.
Emma B says
Mavis,
keeping you and your brother in my thoughts and prayers. Yes Cancer sucks big time.
Andrea D says
I’m so sorry about your brother. Praying for him and all your family.
Debbie says
Only you, Mavis, could turn such sad news into something humorous (with this post). Stay strong, have courage, and keep lunging away from the vending machine. Cancer sucks!
Anne says
Cancer sucks! Hugs and prayers to you and your family.
Susan says
Mavis, I have no appropriate words but sending hugs!
I do understand. My Mother and my Sister had Cancer. I get it. Sending prayers.
Laura says
So sorry to hear. My husband went through cancer 4 years ago and it was a game-changer. We are thankful for every day, even when those days are challenging. You are right. You truly never know what someone else is going through. Adding your family to my prayers.
Delores says
I am so sorry. I am praying for you all!
Jennifer says
So sorry to hear about your brother. And yes it does suck.
Ellen in Clackamas says
I work in an Oncology Department and I see every day that CANCER SUCKS. It truly is hard on everyone including those of us who help take care of cancer patients. There can be joy, and healing and peace too. I also am a cancer survivor so totally understand many of the feelings. Sending good thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
Renay says
Prayers for you all.
Amber says
Prayers go with u. Make sure you get your colonoscopy!!! Because of your family history you are at increased risk and should get it before the usual age of 50. I cant wait to read a post about your colonoscopy!!
Julia says
Sending prayers and good vibes your way. Having spent more than my fair share of time waiting in the ER I’ve come up with some strategies. If there is time, dress warm! The ER is always cold. Grab a few healthy snacks on your way out the door. Why does a hospital which is supposed to be all about health have total junk in the vending machine? Take a big book, like War and Peace, cause you are going to be there for quite a long time. And pray a lot!!
Jennifer says
I lost a friend to colon cancer a few years ago, and yes cancer sucks! It suck so bad. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. And maybe you should bring some tea or a water bottle to avoid so much stale coffee. That can’t be good.
Diane says
I’m so very sorry about your brother, Mavis. I hope he (AND you) can take some comfort from you being able to be with him.
Catherine says
Mavis, I am so very sorry to hear about your brother. I add my prayers to those of others who have replied. I, too, have spent lots and lots of time in hospitals. It is one of the most mind and body numbing experiences in the world. Love your post. Humor always helps me more than anything.
bobbi dougherty says
I am so sorry for you and your family. Sending prayers for healing.
Earlene says
Praying for you family! Stage 4 is a tough one to overcome! Family is after all what life is all about, the relationships you treasure!
Jennifer Meyer says
Only you could find the humor in your situation! More ideas I found for you lol! Best wishes and hugs!
1. Ask the person next to you what they’re in for.
2. Start foaming at the mouth and snapping at people.
3. Stare at someone from behind a magazine non-stop until they get called. Then attempt to follow them in.
4. Go in the bathroom, run the water, and sing as loud as you can.
5. Go, and play in the little kid’s section. Steal all of the toys, and see if you can get in a fight with one of the kids.
6. Act like you have many, evil multiple personalities.
7. Go outside, and set up a tent in the parking lot, just in case you have to wait overnight.
8. Start talking in a friendly voice to the person next to you. Then all of the sudden look them in the eye, and start screaming.
9. Start talking in gibberish so that no one can understand you, including the doctor.
Talk to the plants.
10. Try to explain to everyone about how you really are Michel Jackson. You just had some new plastic surgery. In fact, that’s why you’re in now.
Jo says
Mavis, I’m so sorry for you, your brother and the rest of your family. Being there so that he sees a loving and caring face when he climbs out of the fog of surgery/chemo/narcotics is so painful but so important. Both as a cancer patient and daughter I know from both sides of the bed that being there is the best thing you can do even though it really, really sucks.
RebekahU says
Mavis – I think I must have missed a post somewhere… (&*!&@#^#%!@$!!!!) I did see a few days ago that your meals were at a hospital, but I do not think I clued in. I am very sorry about the cancer diagnosis. My mother had stage 3 colon cancer and beat the &^*@^@(!(! socks off of it. I am praying that your brother will do the same thing! He can do it. I do not know if you are a Christian (I know that you’ve been accused of being a Morman a while back!!), but if you are, just remember that NOTHING surprises God. He is there all of the time. And He is bigger than cancer. May He be with you guys while you walk through this valley.
Hawaii Planner says
I’m so sorry to hear that. Sending good thoughts to you and your family.
Deborah says
Hugs and prayers for both of you. It is so hard to see a loved one suffer with any kind of cancer. I lost my brother over 20 years ago to lung cancer. It’s a demon we all face at one time or another. I pray that your family will have the strength to get through this. God bless you all.
Sharon Norvell says
I am so sorry about your brother. I said a prayer for him. Sharon
Corinne says
Mavis,
I’m thinking of you and your family too, and hoping for the best for your brother. Tell him so many strangers are rooting for him personally.
Hugs.
Corinne
Cenith says
Mavis I am so sorry to hear about your brother. please know that much love and prayers are going to you and your family from your many readers. We laugh with you,learn from you and now we hurt with you. Never lose your faith or your hope.
Sue says
Mavis, my heart is breaking for you, brother and your whole family. Bless you and may you find a little peace at this time. Wish I could help in some way to ease your waiting at that hospital. I know that everyone that reads your blog everyday is sending good vibes to you all across this nation and other countries as well. Much love to you! And God Bless!!!!!
Vicki says
I think there is nothing much to say Mavis; certainly there are no magic words to take away the pain. I am sure you have felt every emotion. I, like everyone else, am sorry to hear of your brothers illness. Sometimes I mention the fact that there are worse things in this life than dying and rarely does anyone understand that. I think you probably do.
Keeping your brother, you, the family and friends in my prayers, asking too for God to blanket you with His peace, and give you the strength and courage to get through this very tough time.
Nancy D says
Oh wow! My brother has stage 4 colon cancer also. He is a single dad and his goal was to see his son graduate high school and enter college this fall. My husband and I had the honor of taking our nephew to UW last week and get him settled into his dormitory and walk the campus. I’m finding peace in little things I’ve taken for granted and allowing myself to cry. Life is precious and fragile. Many hugs sweet Mavis. You bring joy and encouragement to so many.
mandy says
I’m so sorry to hear about your brother Mavis. Big Hugs to you.
Melissa says
I know I’m just one more stranger offering prayer and knowing there are not really any comforting words that can fix everything right now – but it felt wrong to leave my care for you unspoken, nonetheless – I do hope your family can join together during this hard hard time and I pray for your brother’s healing, comfort and peace – so sorry you are all having to walk through this – thank you for sharing your life with us 🙁
Annette says
My husband and daughter have stage 3 brain cancer, yes cancer sucks!!! Your brother and family will be in my prayers
Practical Parsimony says
When I had to be rushed to the eye hospital ER, I packed a snack for my ride. When, I have anyone take me to something medical, I pack a snack. I just look and see what I have–pistachios in shell, string cheese, peeled cutie/halo, jerky stick, fruit, peanut butter sandwich cut in fourths, package of crackers, bottle of water. That way, the person does not have to spend money and eat out of vending machines. One guy hates most of the magazines, so I bought one Reader’s Digest and told him he could only read it while waiting in a waiting room. So, he must turn it over to me when he takes me home. It works.
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. My brother dropped dead of a heart attack, so there was never any hope for any of us. Hopefully, your brother will come through this. I don’t envy your role in waiting. My sister and I slept in my mother’s hospital bed while waiting for her surgery.
Laura says
I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. My thoughts are with you and your family. Yes, cancer sucks. It truly is the worst.
GSS says
I hate cancer, it sucks, it is not fair and I hate it. I want to throat punch every type of cancer there is. I hate cancer and it is not fair. But I do believe in miracles and I wish I could hug you. My sister was diagnosed last week with Stage 4 cancer too. It does suck.
Christine says
Mavis, you are such an inspiration to us all every day! I want to add to what so many others have already said, we are all here for you and your family. I am glad to hear that you are there for your brother, what a blessing! Enjoy each and every moment that you have with your family!
Sara says
Crochet! Then donate lap blankets to the Camcer ward. They are needed. Been in your shoes before three times and it it again…. Many MANY a lap blanket.
kcmama says
I am so sorry for what your brother and you are going through. It is a very tough walk right now, no doubt about it. I also try to grab snacks, protein drinks, etc to take when I have to go wait as well. Being a knitter, I always have some project to take along and knit on while I wait– socks,hats, mittens make good waiting room knitting. My husband works through Sudoku books….. My thoughts are with you.
M Wilkerson says
Thank you for the laugh! I needed that! Just spent the last week with my father as a patient in the hospital. I pray for your brother that he get through this tough time. Being sick is no fun.
Emily B. says
Given that often people have to spend unbearable amounts of time waiting for their loved ones, you would think they would do a better job of making the waiting areas a more user friendly experience.
Heartfelt sympathies to your family, what an awful thing to have to go through. You all are in my thoughts.
Erin Wilson says
So sorry to hear about your brother’s diagnosis. Praying for him…that his time (whether short, or long) be rich and filled with love.
Diana says
I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. <3
I had my first colonoscopy due to a friend's husband who discovered his colon cancer during a routine minor surgery – he died within 6 months. He was in his 50's and they had been childhood sweethearts. I'm heartsick every time I think of them. Make sure you and the HH have had your screening…
Remember that life continues on, even after the physical body dies, and he will always be 'out there'.
Love you, Mavis. Sending healing energy, for body and spirit, your way…
Lilypad says
I’m several days behind in my blog email reading, so I’m just seeing this now. Sending love and hugs and best wishes to your brother, your family, and you. Make sure you get some extra Lucy snuggles. I couldn’t get through life without my fur-baby kitty’s help, that’s for sure.
Linda says
Mavis,
I am so sorry about your brother. Love and prayers your way. My brother was diagnosed last month with a malignant brain tumor. Cancer really does suck.
Em says
Mavis, I am praying that things get better. I had this in my family as well. I agree with Amber that you should get a colonoscopy (I did). Raising awareness might save someone else from having to go through this.