{The Girl Who Thinks She’s a Bird, Monkey Boy & a friend about 10 years ago}
Last week, while talking to a friend with young children, she mentioned her frustration with having picky eaters. She said she would love to grow a garden, but her kids wouldn’t eat anything she grew.
What?
I started thinking back when my kids were young or even about my recent battles with Monkey Boy over milk, and wondered, what causes kids to be picky-eaters? I mean, I get the struggle, with so many options for brownies, cakes, soda and treats, the prospect of a big plate of broccoli is kind of a hard sell.
I stumbled onto an article that suggested that finicky eating was a genetic protection mechanism–that if little cave children put anything they saw in their mouths, the results would be disastrous.
And while being picky is completely normal, there’s still a ton of things to try to broaden your wee one’s {or your Handsome Husband’s} tastes.
Here’s a few that I found and/or used myself:
- The No-Thank-You-Bites. Put a bit of food on the plate. Tell your child that they don’t have to eat it all unless they like it, but they do have to take 3 bites, just to make sure it’s not their new favorite food.
- Presentation is everything. A friend of mine gave me this tip years ago, and seriously, it worked wonders on my kids. She told me to get an ice cube tray, toothpicks, fun plates, etc. Put the new foods, mixed in with some favorites, in each space of the ice cube tray–the fun of the presentation takes over, plus the amount of fruits, veggies, etc. doesn’t seem so overwhelming. I also used toothpicks to make kabobs out of everything–fruit, veggies, even little bits of fish or chicken.
- Lead by example. Your kids might be disgusted by what you put in front of them, but repeated exposure and visually seeing you eat your greens matters. Think about how much what your parents ate impacted your eating habits as an adult.
- Don’t turn it into a power struggle. Keep meal time calm. {Easier said than done after you’ve spent so much time to prepare it!} Praise them even if they just have a taste and move on.
- Your child will not starve themselves. They are smart and have inherent life-preserving instincts, so try not to get too hung up on how much they’ve eaten of their meal.
- Set your personal limits. Are you willing to make considerations for each child? Are you going to provide snacks after a meal for kids who chose not to eat their meals? Choose what works best for you and stick to your guns, that way you don’t have to dread the meal time battle too.
- As far as gardening goes, allow your child to pick one thing to grow. Help them plant it, water it, etc. The studies I read said that children who have a hand in their food tend to be more interested in trying it. {The same goes for them helping to prepare it.}
Do you have picky eaters? What do you do?
~Mavis
FYI: This Food Face Plate is AWESOME for picky eaters. Umm, and it’s totally fun too.
Susan says
I have 4 kids. When they were young it was tough some times to get them to eat their vegies. I would cook fresh vegies for two of them and the other two liked them raw with a little salad dressing dip. I went ahead and did this – and now they love all vegetables.
Leanna says
Hubby is the most picky so I am a short order cook. 🙂
Cecily says
Yes, let them pick what to grow. My son would turn green at the sight of anything green on his plate. I let him choose seeds, plant them and care for his own little garden and now he loves his veges!
cheri says
“You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”
I run a child care and that is the rule. I serve one meal, if you choose not to eat it, we will eat again at the next scheduled time. I don’t give seconds unless you ate your firsts….that being said, if I know you hate broccoli and love peaches, I will serve you only one broccoli and several peaches….but to get more, you need to eat at least a good sized bite of your broccoli….I also refuse to make a deal of it….eat or not, but you will sit at the table with us durring the meal….It is also amazing what a little positive peer presure will do-I had a little girl who told me she loved my cantaloupe when she had always refused it at home
icebear says
Watching cooking shows on food network and other shows like Bizarre Foods sure helped my kids become adventurous eaters. It makes regular foods look less weird, and the kids watching all sorts of foods being prepared and swooned over makes them appreciate diverse cuisines.
I also garden, so the kids see the veggies from start to finish. They see hubby and i eating pretty much anything. Very little is unfamiliar to them and they are quite daring.
Cee says
I was a picky eater – sort of. My mom and I used to battle all the time. Dinner would be served at 5pm and I would still be sitting at the table at 7pm.
My mom came from a large lower-class family so she grew up having to eat what was on her plate because that was all there was. She honestly didn’t understand what was wrong with me until one day a friend she was talking to said the magic words “maybe she just genuinely doesn’t like it”. I bless this woman because dinner got a lot better after that. There were a few things going on in the scenario that any outsider would probably do a face palm over but was not apparent to those in the middle of the situation.
1. Despite the fact that I was old enough, I was not allowed to serve myself the portions that I would have preferred.
2. We were part of the clean plate club – not only could I not portion what I actually wanted to eat, I had to finish what was there.
3. When I said I didn’t like the food, my mother took it as a personal attack and would start yelling at me. Instead of asking what I didn’t like about it, she assumed I was a picky eater because it seemed like I never liked anything. The actual truth was – I have a problem with the texture of casseroles- the texture (more the mix of textures) is so aversive to me that it literally makes me gag. Since she was one of the eldest she was expected cook for her 8 brothers and sisters, and the way to feed that many people affordably was casseroles. Almost every night I sat down to dinner to find some type of casserole on my plate!
So really, 2 points a) sometimes it helps to ask why a kid doesn’t like something and b) I strongly agree with the suggestion of the “no-thank-you bites” – there is a lot of research that shows the whole “clean plate club” teaches people to ignore hunger levels while eating and contributes to obesity. Even though mealtimes were a battle between my mom and I, I still internalized the clean plate message and to this day I struggle with weight control/appetite regulation.
Grandma PattyB says
Wow, Cee, I think we had the same moms. The only thing I really didn’t like was liver. She would make it once a week. Oh the drama. With my kids, it was “this is dinner. If you don’t eat you can have breakfast in the morning.” But I did listen to what they absolutely didn’t like. One day I wanted steamed broccoli and the husband wouldn’t eat it and I knew the kids would like it. So I only made enough for me. At dinner I got, “what’s that?” “how come we don’t get any.” Seriously??? Damn, I had to share and they all like it to this day. That philosophy came in handy over and over again.
Grandma PattyB says
Actually, I meant to say “the kinds wouldn’t like it.”
Wynne says
My son had food intolerances when he was very young, so he frequently watched my husband and I eat things he couldn’t have. Now that he can eat anything, he likes it all. He’s the least picky eater in his preschool class. He’ll even attempt things like smoked herring or artichokes. I really wonder if this had to do with not being served something and getting curious.
Erika says
It also helps to come up with fun names for new foods. For example, we call red leaf lettuce “alien lettuce” and I told my boys that I bet Buzz Lightyear eats alien lettuce. Wow they started eating salads better after that! Also if I use “butter” in the title of a vegetable (even if I only used a tiny bit), they’re more likely to try and like the veggie.
Lisa says
The picky-eater I miss hearing from is my niece. We used to live in Wyoming, where the Antelope roam. When my 5 y/o niece moved in with me she began refusing to eat Cantaloupe, which she loved before, because they were cute and she wanted one for a pet.
My mother’s solution for the 6 of us was PB&J or scrambled eggs, only you had to wait until she was finished eating her dinner and you had to stay and talk to everyone while they ate. We also had to try a few bites before deciding against it. More often than not, when it was a strangeness issue, we got distracted while talking and ate along with everyone else. For some of us (me) who had texture issues, she just planned around them. I still can’t eat ground meat that had been browned in a pan without throwing it up, so I had patties on the side of whatever the casserole was going to be.
Funny thing is, the foods we had strong aversions to as kids- most of us ended up having allergies to as adults.
Janie says
We went by the 3 bite rule, too. But I also allowed each child what we called a “throwup food.” They never had to eat that, no matter what. One son had tuna fish and lima beans on that list. It gave them some control.
Miriam says
I WAS the picky eater in my family. Getting me to eat lettuce was like fighting WWII. I just liked what I liked. No one in our family hated broccoli (little trees) because my mom prepared them correctly.
I hated salads because I don’t like the dressings my mom used. I learned that I didn’t hate salads when we went to a friend’s house and they had a home made dressing that was lovely. My mom would put crab, avocado, tomatoes and nasty raw shredded carrots in salads. I prefer olives, crutons, onions and cheese with some dressing, so it is no wonder she couldn’t get me to eat it. Though to this day, my mother has NO idea what foods I do like.
For my niece, she would ALWAYS refuse to eat food the first time it was presented and we didn’t push it, but the second or third time she would try. We did this with artichoke and we made enough the second time for each person and an extra to share. We reached towards the extra and she burst out in tears saying it was hers and ate the whole thing by herself. She is hilarious.
tl dr: Try preparing foods in different ways to see what a child doesn’t like about it and don’t force them to eat it the very first time you present it. Instead, try to get them to try it on their own within the first few times.
Kamiko says
Funny story. when my baby was 3 (shes 23 now), my ex in-laws took the whole family (both sons and their extended family as well) to a buffet. my MIL sat with the little ones, so the mothers could go and fix their plates. as we passed by the dessert stash i picked up a plate of jello for my girlie, so she could nosh until i fixed her plate. She was happy.
while fixing her plate, i heard my baby begin to scream and howl, like someone was killing her. i rushed over to find my MIL had taken her jello from her, until she got her food. i explained my girlie had a good appetite, and she would eat her food, please dont take the jello from her.
I went back to the buffet fixing the food, and i heard her scream bloody murder again. i rushed over to find out her father had taken her water, being told by his brother it would ruin her appetite. i gave her back the water, and told everyone to leave my girlie in peace, she wasn’t bothering anyone.
i returned to the buffet and fixed her a plate of her favorite goodies. i placed it in front of her, she pushed the jello away, and dove into her food! i dont know why, but everyone was amazed to see a good eater.
I went to the buffet and fixed myself a “big” salad. i brought my plate back, and my girlie pushed her food away, and stole my salad! no amount of cajoling could convince her she needed her meatloaf, mac n cheese and other goodies more than my salad!
What is funny about this whole thing? i am the picky eater, and she eats everything and anything, and she is a chef! She saw me trying all kinds of alternative items, to avoid eating what i didn’t like, and learned to like other items as well.
sheila says
Picky kids ain’t got nothin on picky husbands.
Mavis says
Waaay more stubborn!!