Do you text your hubby {or wife} during the day? Ever stopped to think about how those texts have changed as the years have gone by? I never really gave it much thought–especially because the HH and I were oldyweds by the time texting really became a huge thing. But, when I ran across an article about a couple who compared their 1st year of dating texts with their 6th year of marriage texts, it make me think about how much communication with your spouse changes over the years. Read: less lovey-dovey and more…um, comfortable?
The couple in the article started with their 1st year of texts {the guy made a clever little word document of all of their texts from their first year for their “1 year of dating anniversary”} and then compared the frequency of commonly used words with their 6th year of marriage texts. They looked at words like love, home, dinner, OK, and how often they used each other’s names. No surprises in their findings really: They used each other’s names less as time went on, the word love showed up less, home and dinner were used about the same amount of times {but the content in which they were used changed}, the frequency of “OK” sky-rocketed as the years went on.
I’m not really sure if the take-away is a good one or bad one. Sure, we become more comfortable and don’t need to use each other’s names {they just become your husband or wife}, love is probably assumed, and “OK” I get–I mean, you’re are texting to communicate at this point, not to flirt.
What do you think, has the way you communicate via with your significant other changed as the years have gone by? Is it a good thing, or a bad thing?
~Mavis
Cari says
When my husband and I first got together we basically got to know each other over text message. We didn’t know each other prior to dating so our first messages were definitely more conversational. Now when the SO says he doesn’t want pasta I know he just doesn’t want it and reply with an “okay” where before it would have led to a conversation on our personal feelings about pasta.
Mavis says
Ha! That’s pretty funny stuff!
Kayla says
Back when we were dating, we would send cute notes of love mush, but now our notes have evolved to true love notes.
I have found that texting, at least in my marriage, has replaced love letters. My husband writes me texts when he has a realization about something that makes him appreciate us. He writes love notes to remind me that I may be home with kids, but I am loved. Yes, we still text about “What’s for dinner?” and “What time will you be home?”, but we use technology to stay in touch and grow our relationship.
Jen Y says
We don’t have cell phones so we haven’t reached texting yet. We do email & sometimes we flirt a little but we are careful in our emails because it’s always me from home to him at work…so it’s usually ‘will you pick up some milk’ or ‘ be home at 4’. I’m actually careful not to sign them with love for fear of getting him in trouble.
One thing we both pretty much always do is say hello & goodbye & meet each other at the door. If I’m home, I meet him at the car if I can get out fast enough, if not I meet him at the door. I always welcome him home. When either of us leave we walk each other to the door to say good bye, help each other with the door & stand on the sidewalk to watch the other leave. Years ago we started blinking our hazard lights to say goodbye – so whoever is leaving turns on the lights & blinks them until we’re out of sight. Whoever is staying watches. We do that even when I drop him off at work.
We’ve been married 27 yrs & have been in the empty nest for about 2 yrs now. When our son was about middle school we had stopped alot of our communicating. Just the business of life, raising a family, working & caring for aging parents all at the same time – it was mostly tag team survival. When our son reached high school I began making more of an effort. One day I remembered how our son used to run to meet him when he got off work, I remembered doing the same with my dad. So, I just started doing it again, just me sometimes with our dogs. I love seeing the joy on his face when I make that effort, the peace of being home when he’s tired or the excitement when he feels good.
I think texting is a great way to keep showing we care about each other. Flirting is important in marriage no matter how long we’re married & being kind & showing grace is pretty important too.
Sandie A says
My DH and I (together 16 years, married for 6) communicate daily via text (we own a business together plus other outside jobs, so sometimes speaking isn’t an option) We have code for certain business things, but we also say LU (love you, sent to him from me) and he replies with LUM (love you more) every day. We are sometimes sleeping when the other gets home/goes to work, and it’s important to maintain contact.
Mavis says
I love your little codes! So cute!
Stacey says
We’ve been married for 26 years. Some of those years were pretty tough, but now that the kids are gone, we concentrate on us. One thing I love to do is surprise my husband with a “Hey, sexy, want to rent a movie tonight and …”
Liz says
My fiance and I definitely text a lot less than when we were first going out, but we also live together, so there’s a lot less need to chat about how our day was/how we miss each other etc etc. A lot of the texts gravitate more towards “doing such and such be home later” “picking up whatever at the store” but we still flirt too. I try to make a point to send him a text if I’m thinking about him and he texts me ridiculously corny pickup lines lol
Linda says
We never use our names. Even when we were first dating. Hubs is more likely to use my name in a email than text. But I assume you know I’m talking to you. I got that from my Dad who never uses names, ever. I tend to flirt more in emails than texts. Texting to me is more quick communication than email.