Maybe there is something wrong with me but I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. In fact, I’m pretty much anti Valentine’s Day. I don’t think you need a day on the calendar to tell someone you love them. I don’t think you have to spend $100 on a special dinner out or $50 on a bouquet of flowers that are just going to die in 5 days. I think Valentine’s Day is a “Hallmark Holiday.”
According to an article on Huffington Post, the average person will spend $133.91 on cards, candy, dinner, etc. just for Valentine’s Day. No wonder it has become a commercial push for who can get the biggest part of the market share! That is only slightly less than I have spent on groceries since the beginning of the year. According to CNN.com an estimated 224 million roses are grown just for this one day.
I’ve been married for over 20 years now and to me, “love” is when you ask your half asleep husband to crawl out of bed and fetch you the bag of gummi bears you have hidden in the center console of your car at 10 pm because you are in the middle of watching a Grey’s Anatomy marathon and you’re to lazy to get them yourself. Love is showing your appreciation and affection all year long. It’s forgiving. It’s sometimes messy and infuriating, but it’s always there, day after day.
One day of materialism with cards, chocolates, and flowers just isn’t going to maintain love the whole year through…but it will potentially lighten your wallet. The HH and I just agree: no need to buy each other anything. I say, tell me you love me–that’s free, and it means something…but let’s just save our money for something awesome, like self-purchased gummi bears that you can hide in the console of your car for when you really, really need them.
If you are boycotting the commercial part of Valentine’s day, but still want to spread the love, check out some Valentine’s Day Trivia to woo your partner with {don’t laugh, trivia totally makes people fall in love with you. It’s fact.}
Am I alone here…any of YOU hate Valentine’s Day too?
~Mavis
Kathy says
You’re not alone, Mavis, I totally hate Valentine’s Day as well as Sweetest Day. Hallmark Holidays are a waste of money…if you love someone, show it all year long!
tc says
I don’t hate it and love the color and decorations everywhere (I don’t buy any though, I just enjoy seeing them) but we have a deal that we don’t go out to dinner that day as it is too crowded, over priced and rushed. I make the hubby a nice dinner at home and set the table extra nicely, I bring him coffee and the paper in bed in the morning (he will never do that for me because I get up way, way before him and cannot sit in bed waiting for him to wake up). He takes me out for dinner at other times and just sometimes if I ask him to because I don’t want to cook (which isn’t often)
He does buy me flowers but they come two days before as it is cheaper that way and I am so happy he does that I have told him one single rose is fine for me but he likes to buy a dozen ordered from Costco).
As for cards, I buy mine from the dollar store, 2 for $1.00, he gets one in the am and one at dinner, they truly are a bargain and great cards too. No other gifts, don’t need them, don’t need jewelry, chocolates or anything else, I would rather he buy me a rose bush for my garden so I can have roses all year round. (actually I use his card and buy myself them and he doesn’t mind because he knows it makes me happy to have fresh flowers in the house that I don’t have to go and pay too much for)
This year I am cooking a special dinner the night before and inviting single girlfriends round for a pre valentines day so they will feel loved and we will buy them a single rose each from the dollar store no less, it is the thought that counts not the amount you spend.
Peggy Stenglein says
I don’t hate it but don’t spend money on it either. I will buy my kids a stuffed animal sometimes if they saw something the liked AFTER Valentine’s Day when I can get it half off though! My idea is making cookies or a cake for my kids or something like that. One year I made heart shaped noodles for chicken noodle soup. 🙂
Emma says
I agree, we do not do Valentines either and I feel the same way. I would rather have flowers on another day just becuase or like you said show me you love me in another way.
Vanessa says
I agree completely. Save your money. Show your love every day. Besides, I don’t like cut flowers (a live plant is way better) and I don’t eat chocolate!
Lisa p says
I agree with you Mavis, I would much rather have flowers on a day when he walked into the grocery store and seen them and thought of me.
Linda says
My HH and I could not agree more. We exchange cards (homemade), but do not do anything else. We feel that we should show our love for each other all year instead of on one day when corporations instruct us to spend money to prove our love and adoration for each other. I recently read an article written by a NY waiter saying that Valentine’s Day is known as “amatuers’ night” due to the overwhelming number of diners who have never dined in the expensive restaurant until VD. He went on to say it is not an optimal dining experience and that your money would be better spent any other night of the year. He advised to splurge on an anniversary.
Cecily says
I hate all holidays. Every single one is heavily commercialized, is a financial drain on families and promotes greed, gluttony and/or the worship of inanimate objects. All of this is hidden behind cheerful music, bright lights/colors and ads that are designed to tug on the heart strings so you will buy, buy, buy. They distract from the truly important things.
Leslie says
I suppose that’s how lots of folks probably see things. Not my perspective but interesting for sure.
susie says
I actually like it! I spent a year in Finland and it is celebrated as friendship day. I like to buy candy hearts for the kids and say we are having a valentines day pick-nick! We sometimes make cards for all our family. But my husband and I don’t buy each other anything. We have an elk in the fridge so I probably will pull out the back straps and set the table. So we don’t spend money but its a good day to appreciate the ones you love!
pamela sheppard says
Hate is a very strong word.
I know nothing I write or think will change anyone’s mind, but I for one love ALL holidays. I am insulted that you ( and many others ) call it a HALLMARK holiday. I work at a Hallmark store. Also I am a diehard romantic. My parents were married on valentines day! That being said you don’t have to celebrate any holiday or occasion the way big businesses want you to. There is no law saying you have to go out to dinner, purchase anything or mark the occasion in a certain way. Maybe a special treat or a love note is what want to do. Maybe nothing out of the ordinary. But to say HATE?
SusanS says
I completely agree. I think it’s a great opportunity to celebrate our relationships — however you choose and with whomever you choose. I never turn down an opportunity to celebrate. The more holidays or opportunities the better. I don’t feel the need to rank them or attribute different levels of importance to them… they’re all fun! I also don’t need to spend a lot of money or celebrate in the same ways as others. Just because I celebrate with my husband on Valentines doesn’t mean I don’t celebrate with him throughout the year – we still do! I just find it so hard to understand why anyone would turn down an opportunity to celebrate life or our relationships – on Valentines day or any other day…
Glenda says
Totally agree. Cecily has it right – all holidays are human organized functions to promote commercialism.
Perhaps, they all started out innocently enough years ago, but as with all things that involve ego and greed, the original intent became skewed.
beth says
When I was married February 14 was just another day and now that I am happily single February 14 is just another day. Occasionally there is a pang of jealousy when I see someone else receiving a gift that is thoughtful but I get over it.
Those candy hearts with the words on them are one of my favourite foods and I treat myself to a package or 3 every year but if that holiday disappeared I wouldn’t care as long as they keep making the candies.
Susan says
We don’t celebrate either for all the reasons you and everyone else stated.
Check out the prices for Chocolate-Dipped Strawberries!!! n OUTRAGEOUS!!! They start at $30 PLUS for 12 and $20 PLUS for 6!!!!!!!!!!
QFC has beautiful Driscoll’s strawberries – 1 lb. on sale for $2.50 this week. Temper a little chocolate in the microwave and you have (let’s say) 24 for approximately $4- a savings of about $56 PLUS!!! And it takes all of 1/2 hour (tops) AND you know they are FRESH 🙂
Beth says
I mostly agree with you but I do purchase a few cards or make them with my Cricut and we make a nice dinner at home. We purchased nice steaks from the discounted meat section at Fred Meyer a couple of months ago- and I put them in the freezer to use for a nice dinner.
jennifer says
I’m not big into the holiday because I do not feel the need to prove my love. However, my husband’s likes it and that is his way of showing his love, but he’s learned to do it in a better fashion. If he buys me roses they are plants, because I do not want them to just die. He had learned I would much rather a beautiful email (our version of love letters) than a fancy card. For my kids we make things to give each other and our own decorations. My husband also goes with me afterwards to get all the stuff in sale which is special because he hates to shop but is or tradition. Until my daughter started school we used to celebrate a few days after and fee er everything discounted but now she knows the actual day. However we teach them that it is about reminding people you live and care about them and not gifts.
Kathy says
My birthday is actually on Valentine’s Day, so I have mixed feelings about the holiday. On one hand, my husband can never forget my birthday! On the other hand, we rarely ever get to go out to eat on my actual birthday because it’s so annoyingly crowded everywhere.
Mavis Butterfield says
Happy early birthday Kathy!!! 🙂
Suzanne W. says
Kathy, my birthday is also on Valentine’s Day, so I can relate! When my husband and I were starving students, we used to go to Denny’s for a free birthday dinner, but even THAT place was overcrowded on Valentine’s Day…LOL !
Pam says
I love all the chocolate for 50% off the day after Valentine’s Day………….does that count?
PattyB says
Yes!
Julie says
I don’t hate it but we don’t buy into it (much) either. I used to deliver flowers when I home schooled and it was a great way to make a couple hundred bucks for 2 days of work. I also love the discounted chocolate the day after. I usually make a special dessert and hubby buys me a plant. The first year we were married, he bought me roses and Godiva chocolates. I hit the roof over that and hubby was relieved he didn’t have to live up to that expectation.
Victoria says
Last year I started dating a nice guy on February 7th. One week later I was standing in front of the Valentine’s Day cards section at Target in horror! They don’t really make cards that say “It was nice to meet you, let’s see how this thing goes.” I ended up giving him some hand-made chocolates (that I also made for my co-workers).
Veronica says
I totally get hating the holiday, but I love it. I even loved it when I didn’t have someone to share it with. I enjoy how the color red is everywhere and sweets fill the aisles (and soon will be marked WAY down). I remember exchanging Valentine’s Day cards at school and how fun that was because everyone got a card and it didn’t matter if you hated someone on that day you did something nice.
But, alas, my husband hates the holiday. So I don’t ever pressure him into getting me something. Some year’s he does and others he doesn’t. No biggie. I’ll just enjoy my bag of conversation hearts at 30 percent off.
Leslie says
We don’t usually spend on holidays but will find a ways to celebrate the occasion
Brenda T says
I have to say I disagree. I’ve never spent a lot of money on Valentine’s Day. When I was young, my Mother always made something special for me, my sister and for my Father. My sister and I always made special cards and letters or did something nice for them. My children had the same experience as well growing up.
Through the years we have purchased or made cards for each other and our ever growing family. I have a box that I have kept these mementoes in and it is so nice to go through that box from time to time and read them, especially the one’s from my parent’s. I think any holiday is what we make of it. As for me, I love them all, each one is a special day for me.
Em says
Brenda, that is really sweet!
Carrie says
I can’t stand Valentines Day either. But my reason is all the stupid garbage my kids end up bringing home from school. We don’t need any more stickers, pencils, plastic toys, plastic baggies and little scraps of paper. And I don’t like having to waste my time buying and helping the kids write up Valentines for their classmates. It is a waste of money and my time. That being said, I do buy my kids a little candy that they can have after dinner, but I don’t decorate my house or make a big deal about it.
Heidi P says
I’m with ya sista! I always tell my husband ‘if you’re inclined to buy me something pleeeeeze don’t make it flowers that are going to die or chocolate that I will regret eating” I love getting something useful for any holiday like garden seeds or plants.
Heidi P says
An additional note & future gift idea: One Christmas my mother made me a garden journal out of a small binder, photo sleeves, seed packets and paper. It was one of the most thoughtful gifts I’ve ever received and relatively inexpensive. It would be the perfect gift for Mothers day for the gardening mother:)
Margery says
For us it’s birthday cake day, since my birthday is the 13th and his is the 15th, we used to have cake on both birthdays but it got to be a bit much so we have cake on one day.
Linda says
I love Valentines….it’s my son’s birthday!!!! LOL!!!!
Robin says
I couldn’t agree more! In fact, I just wrote about the same thing on my blog. But….as much as I think Valentine’s Day is total BS, I still don’t want my family to feel like crap. So, I just make cookies and write them love notes. 🙂 Cheap, easy, and fun.
Jill says
Totally agree. It means so much more to me if my husband does something special for me (card, flowers, etc) on some random day than on a day when society “tells” him he should. In fact, we will celebrate 23 years of marriage next week because we absolutely didn’t want to get married on Valentine’s Day. Like you said, love is demonstrated day in and day out with all sorts of little things.
Cenith says
Totally agree! It starts in grade school with how many Valentines will you get. ( remember Charlie Brown and the Little Red Haired Girl). And just gets bigger from there. In my life EVERYDAY is Valentine’s Day. I try very hard to let parents,husband,children and friends know they make my life complete every single day!
Holly says
I like Valentine’s Day, but we keep it very simple and low cost. My husband and I both agree not to get sucked into the pressure to spend big bucks. We usually have a special breakfast and in the evening we prepare a nice meal at home. We exchange cards (from the dollar store!) but don’t exchange gifts. We each have plenty of “stuff” so our gifts to each other are time spent with each other.
Sara says
I probably would, but it’s my birthday. In my household, it’s pretty much the only day that’s all about me (mother’s day revolves around grandparents), so I’m fond of it. And because it’s a holiday, it’s hard for my husband and children to forget.
Jim H. says
When I asked my wife what she wants for Valentine’s Day, she said “nothing”. and meant it. She said the sweetest thing – that I show her and tell her I love her every day, so to us, it is just another day to say I love you to each other. I plan to cook dinner Friday night, making something special for her.
Thanks for sharing your feelings about this Hallmark Holiday, Mavis. Many of us feel the same way – it’s overdone in every way, and is just an excuse to spend too much money.
Nancy from Mass says
We hate Valentines Day! i actually have never liked it…even when i was a teen or young-ish 20 something. I have also been married over 20 years and would be upset if my husband spent that much on a Hallmark holiday. The only thing i do is leave something for our teen son (candy or rice krispy treats) and we give each other a hug and kiss. if you need a special day to say you love me, then you must not love me very much! (that’s my thought, anyway :))
Nancy from Mass says
and….hubby brings me flowers from time to time for no reason at all! that means more than 2/14 on a calendar!
Jillbert says
I’m with ya, Mavis. I don’t really care for V-Day (or other “hallmark” holidays like mothers day, fathers day, etc.). My husband and I don’t exchange gifts or cards or candy. I’ll probably bake a heart shaped cake for the kids and call it good.
Mary says
Holidays are what you make of them. I try to show love all year long, but we like to celebrate all the holidays in some manner. Being a single mom, it’s Singles Awareness Day for me, but for my kiddos, we celebrate. I will bake cupcakes, we’ll make homemade valentines using construction paper, and have a goofy dinner such as a heart shaped homemade pizza. Effort and time yes, expensive no.
Theresa says
I also feel that it’s a Hallmark holiday. A holiday designed to get money from your pocket in the name of love. I think as we get older we see it for what it is. But young people and children really get trapped into it. I think it’s sad. Just my two cents on the subject.
Nancy says
Totally agree, Mavis. My husband treats me like a queen 365 days a year. I don’t need a contrived ‘holiday’ for him to show his love for me. I’m glad you and others feel the same way. Love your blog!
Nancy
Debbi Atkinson says
Amen! My hubby and I don’t like it one bit. I don’t like the idea of a card company telling me to express my love for someone by buying something from them; I love expressing my love for others but when it’s my idea or when I really think they need to hear it or just because. And I would rather make something then buy it. I couldn’t ask for a more loving and supportive husband; everyday is Valentine’s Day.
I really feel sorry for these young kids spending more then they have in order to prove that they love someone. It makes me sad.
Brandie says
I like it. My mom always gave us valentines and some sort a treat while I was growing up.I send valentines to all of my nieces and nephews every year. My husband and I don’t give each other gifts but we have a nice home cooked dinner and sometimes he buys me flowers. I feel like it is a nice reminder to tell the ones you love that you love them. All holidays have become more commercialized. I guess everyone needs to make a dollar some way or another. And no one is making us buy things, do things, or say things. Take it as you will and do as you will. Isnt that the beauty of where we live and the freedoms we have.
Marcia says
I don’t hate it, but I do think it’s a silly holiday. Although I may take advantage of sales on Hershey kisses after the holiday. Hm.
I’ve been married almost 19 years, and our boys are 8 and 2. Our V-day? Probably going to cook a “special” dinner (aka, defrost a pork chop or two, roast some potatoes because boys LOVE them, and maybe buy a bottle of cheap bubbly, because I love bubbly). Maybe I’ll go crazy and make some oatmeal raisin cookies too.
Dena says
I don’t hate Valentines Day at all. I don’t feel you need to spend a bunch of money. I am doing something simple like making some chocolate covered strawberries and white chocolate truffles to share with my husband. I husband tells me almost everyday that he loves me.With all the trauma and horrible things that happen everyday, just getting people to stop and say ” hey, I love you” or here’s some flowers to say hey I’m thinking about you can be a very powerful thing. I’m not going to feel bad because I believe romance and a day to celebrate it is a bad thing. Sweetest Day on the other hand is a total Hallmark holiday, made up to get you to buy stuff.
jen says
I never cared that much about it and then my son was born 3 weeks early last year on valentines day. The best valentine i ever got and ever will have for years to come!
Anna G says
My Bee and I have always believed that Valentines day is something to be celebrated all year long. We have turned Valentines day into an excuse for a ‘bad food’ splurge. We go to Frisko Freeze in Tacoma for a cheese burger and a shake. We sit in the car and eat and chat about how much we love each other.
Anna says
I am over 70 and the only person who has ever given or sent me anything for valentines day was my mother bec, as she said, “you don’t have anyone to do that for you!” I treasure those times when she remembered me. She’s gone to share her love with the Lord Jesus now &. I still don’t have any sweetheart in my life. When I was married, ‘he never did anything romantic for me and was mostly gone!’ It used to make me sad but now, I just go on with my life like it’s another day. It does make me feel momentarily sad when there are so many reminders of love all over the stores and when I see men buying flowers for their ‘person’…I sometimes buy flowers for myself. I know this sounds sad and one part of me ‘goes there’ but for the most part I remember that I am loved by the Lord and He gives me reminders everyday of His unfailing love for me, I need to keep that fact in mind as I look at the flowers I have around me and smile.
Em says
Happy Valentines Day from me to you, Anna! Thanks for sharing that memory of your mom.
Brenda T says
Anna,
I know this is a little late, but I just want to wish you a Happy Valentines Day! May the Lord bless you with many more. I am also thankful for my treasured memories of my mother. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!
PattyB says
Same here. Every holiday is too commercialized! I went to Michaels today to get some yarn and the store was mobbed with soccer mommies and their darlings. All I could think of was, flu, colds, and measles. I got what I needed and got outa there. [Before anyone flames me, I’m not a phobic, I have a compromised immune system and lungs.]
Deitra says
AGREED!
Lisa Millar says
Valentines Day was never a big thing here when I was in school… slowly it was developed into a big commercial push.
I am also one of the ones that don’t believe you need a ‘special day’ to profess your love to anyone. Seems hollow if you have to be reminded.
I had to Google “Sweetest Day” I had never heard of it! See how my general knowledge increases from this blog?? 🙂
Every holiday is over commercialised to fleece more money out of the general public! Hot cross buns went out the week after Christmas and guess what??? Easter eggs appeared in the supermarket today!! ??? Only about 2 months early… wouldn’t want to be caught unprepared. I feel that starting these celebrations months earlier than the actual date takes the edge of the excitement – Christmas especially since, sadly, Christmas specials, commercials, decorations and music are shoved down our throats starting about October!
Stacey says
I could live without holidays, but I’m not a holiday-hater. With the exception of Halloween, there are fun things about them for me, and that’s the way I look at them. Neither my husband nor I need a big deal made on Valentine’s Day, but we do enjoy doing something nice for each other. We don’t cause any stress for each other about it. However, there are different ways that people feel loved. I read some years ago about the different love languages. If my husband treasured adhering to traditions for holidays, I would do more for him because it meant a lot to him. I would “tell” him I love him in the way he needed to “hear” it.
Tracie H says
I love this post! I couldn’t agree more! We have never celebrated Valentines Day because it’s a made up holiday geared for profit.
Kathryn says
My husband loves celebrating Valentine’s Day, but with a special twist. He finds towns with romantic names, sends an envelope to the postmaster asking for a hand-cancellation on the envelope showing the town’s name, and has them put it on a stamped envelope with a little note to me in it which he has enclosed in the envelope addressed to the postmaster. Around Valentine’s Day, I receive about 25 little cards from fun towns. Here is a link from the USPS with a list of town’s names. https://about.usps.com/who-we-are/postal-history/valentine-post-office-names.htm How about it? He and I also do tons of little things all year long for each other. But this is just a fun gesture that he enjoys doing, and I enjoy receiving.
Marcy says
My birthday and Christmas are in the same month and, as a Mom, I have always much preferred to have extra to spend on my kids rather than have much spent on my gifts. Our anniversary is in January, just in time for any bills from Christmas to come due. My hubby declared that February is MY month and he insisted on celebrating Valentine’s Week, rather than day. For 26 years, he came up with unique gifts for me for each day – he kept a running list thru the year of things I would mention I liked – and he accompanied each gift with a card. In honor of my “thriftiness” (read: I’m cheap) he always started VW with flowers, purchased before the VD rush and cost increase. When we were young and poor, the day’s gift might be just a single wrapped chocolate covered cherry; as we got older, they became more elaborate, but not necessarily expensive. My favorite of all time was the 300 lbs of cow poo I had told hubby I would like to have for my new garden. He and my son purchased it, loaded it, drove it home, unloaded it, and neatly stacked it by my garden. Who knew that love and cow poo went together?
This year would have been our 27th VW, but my husband had a stroke on 2/5, and he just wasn’t up to doing anything this year. He is expected to make a full recovery, in time, but for now he is a bit wobbly.
Marcy
Jen Y says
I hate what it does to insecure people or people who are alone (not necessarily both). I hate the expectations it builds. Love is not about what someone will give or do for me but what I do for someone else.
My favorite thing about the holiday though are the cards. My husband gives the best cards year round, for holidays & for ordinary days. Many times I pull out old cards to read & feel cherished. Sometimes he makes them, sometimes he buys them & sometimes he just writes a note on a napkin – they all work for me!
My card this year is a Charlie Brown card (my husband’s name is Charlie & I get lots of charlie Brown cards!) It says: ‘To get a Valentine from me, you’d have to be pretty special….& you are! Happy Valentine’s Day’ then he wrote: You are more beautiful than: the little red headed girl, more charming than Jane Austen but best of all your are my Valentine. Love Charlie. 2-14-15
I say spread Valentine love to lonely friends, cherish your sweetheart if you have one & enjoy any love sent your way with no resentment toward any love withheld. Happy Valentine’s Day. 🙂
So how could I not get excited about that, especially when I rarely give him anything at all for this holiday. I always think he’s not going to give me something & I don’t want to make him feel bad by giving something when he hasn’t.