rev·e·la·tion: A surprising and previously unknown fact, especially one that is made known in a dramatic way.
- The working world does not revolve around me, my schedule, my family’s schedule nor Lucy the Puggle Dog and her naptime.
- Adjusting from being your own boss for 7 years to having a 23 YEAR OLD boss is pretty brutal.
- Going up to not one, but 2 supervisors in a 30 minute period and saying “I don’t like this job. Can I have another one!?” is probably inappropriate on your third day {or any day} at work. What I meant to say {which would have been just as bad} was “I don’t like this task. Can I have another one becuase HELLO, a monkey could do this and you are not utilizing my skills well at all. Maybe if you weren’t almost half my age you would know that. Then again, what do I know? Maybe I look incompetent. Or, just maybe, this is THE JOB and I still haven’t grasped the concept of not being in charge yet.” Ya. That could be it too.
- I am completely unable to make small talk.
- Busy work and standing around doing nothing is torture for me as well.
- Be careful what you ask for. Seriously.
- When you call your mother on your lunch break to give her an update on how your new job is going and you start to freak out a little, she tells you to SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP this is real life and YOU ARE NOT A QUITTER. You signed up for this so FOLLOW IT THROUGH and then you tell her to STOP BEING A CHEERLEADER!!!
- When your husband says “This job is messing everybody’s schedule up” what he really means is “Why wasn’t my dinner on a plate when I came home? I had to use a spatula to get the tuna casserole out of the pan ALL BY MYSELF!!”
- Suddenly typing in ALL CAPS makes you FEEL BETTER even though it’s incredibly annoying to read.
That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.
Calgon, take me away.
Because it’s off to the coal mines again tomorrow.
~Mavis
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Alice says
Why did you choose to go back to an actual job? keep in mind there are other options..
SALES jobs would be more fun for you. Substitute teacher, real estate agent, small company office manager- would all be more interactive and interesting then what sounds like a corporate staff work.
Deb says
What is the job that you have??
Alice says
I Used to have a boring corporate job and now I do not. I got sick and had to stop working
Libby from New England says
This might not be the right job for you…..
I’ve been told in the past to try something for six weeks before making a decision. This has stood me in good stead.
Helen Gurley Brown, of Cosmo fame, worked something like 18 jobs before finding the perfect job for her….some she left and some she was asked to leave. She learned something with each position…..even if it was what she didn’t want to do. I view it as a giant circle (all the possibilities one can do for work) and that the circle gradually gets narrower and more focused.
Your family “system” is like a spider web. When something touches a spider web, it sends vibrations throughout the entire web. Your transitioning back to work is a major jostling to the family spider web. They will adjust 🙂
Carol says
Well said! HGB was awesome!!!!
Mavis, maybe something with a non-profit would work. You can choose from so many causes and they tend to not be as structured…..best of luck!
Jenell says
Mavis, I don’t like you working. I need you blogging all day long so I have something to read at my horribly boring job. Cant stand the thought of Lucy home all day alone:)
Mavis Butterfield says
The puggle princess is not alone. No worries there.
Emily says
It’s going to be an adjustment. Give it s month of really trying to like it and if you still don’t start looking for something else. I get the feeling you are in the enviable position of this job being a want and not a need so it’s worth hunting around for something you actually want to do.
tia in boise says
You are going to tell us what you’re doing, right????
—eagerly anticipating the news…
Angie says
OMG!!!! You have me laughing so hard at my computer I’m crying!!!! That is the funniest post I have read all month!
Dana says
You will be great! Dealing with getting back into the workforce is a bit of a shock. I’ve been there. Yes, your 23 year old boss is annoying, – guess what? They’re learning too!
Every job anyone has is annoying, and stupid, and filled with paperwork, busy work, down times and up times. How you handle it is key, you’re learning a new job and learning about yourself at the same time. This is good stuff!!!
Enjoy the ride!
Marcia says
Ha ha ha this made me laugh lots. Not at your misery, but just at life in general.
You know, the 23 year old boss. The fact that work sometimes sucks and is boring. And the husband’s schedule! I think working hubbies (or wives with SAH husbands) don’t necessarily always appreciate the ease of a schedule with someone to handle the home stuff. It’s everything from “being there when the plumber comes” to “dinner on time” to “food in fridge” to “someone at home when the kid is sick”. It’s HUGE. Whenever someone goes back to work, or increases their work hours, the other one has to step it up. (I remember my pre-kid days, when my husband started working after grad school. But he hadn’t finished his thesis. Enter nine straight months of him working a full time job and writing up his PhD at night. I was MISERABLE working and doing all the chores.)
My oldest sister went to work after her kids were grown/ in teens. I think she was in her 40s. One of her first questions was “how do you full time workers actually cook??” It was an adjustment for her for sure. For one thing, a lot of shortcuts! Of course that was decades ago…she’s retired now after about 20 years at the Gap, first as an associate and then as store manager.
I agree that you should give it some time, maybe six weeks? Although I remember a friend who started a new job after our prior company had gone bankrupt. He worked one day then quit. At his prior job, he worked weekend nights, was the senior engineer in charge. His wife worked FT during the day, so he was home with the boys. The new job was very boring and manual (and during the daytime), and his wife said “I’d rather you stay home with the boys until the end of the summer.” So that’s what he did. The hard part might be distinguishing how much of the “suck” is due to working and how much is due to the actual job.
Good luck. Do your best to enjoy it, why not!
Leslie H says
Just quit. You already had the best job in the world. Just sayin’.
I volunteer a couple of places. I am needed, but not locked in. And I have the opportunity to use the skills I’ve developed because you don’t have to climb any ladders there.
Good luck!
Mary Gorham says
This comment made me chuckle!! I love your blog and your readers. It makes me happy every single day!
Delores says
Use the time spent on mindless tasks as an opportunity to plan your next year’s garden, or vacation. In all honesty, a hard, manual labor, not much thinking required job sounds great to me right now. I don’t want to make decisions when I make so many already! I want to just be able to earn an income, get a discount (I would love to work at Lowe’s or Home Depot), and not really have to use any creativity or decision making skills.
Well, so I say at this point. Might be different by third day on the job. 😉
Maxine says
My guess is Starbucks. Don’t know why, but a 23 yr old boss? Read a book about a guy that was Ivy League educated and wealthy who got laid off and ended up working at Starbucks. The book was How Starbucks Saved My Life I believe. Nice benefits and good atmosphere, teaching/learning environment. Stick it out. See if you can adjust and find the silver lining. After a while, if you’re still unhappy move on. Still rooting for you.
Marie says
To me, it depends on your goal. Is it to make lots of $ quickly? Long term use of your time in exchange for $? Yes, it’s hard “conforming” to a work schedule-no doubt. Banging up against the 23 year old will not be the answer. He/she will just use their new found powers to crush you-not promote you.
I agree that something like a real estate salesperson would be a great fit. Take a class to pass the RE exam. Find an office that fits near you, be friendly to everyone you meet and get out there to make your millions! You will see all of the new listings first hand, write off your car usage, phone costs and make those connections! Only downside will be showing/selling on the weekends and other dinner times but for $20,000 per sale, I feel the HH could pick up a dinner or two while you are away. And…he could also learn a new skill himself-cooking!
It will become a creative outlet for you, people orientated and you can take your pick of qualified buyers/sellers.’ Get to know the staging people in your area, the photographers, house cleaners and landscape folks. They make a diamond in the rough shine with their professional skills. Maybe, just maybe, you will find your perfect home (once again)!
Katie says
There are a lot more downsides to real estate than the few you’ve listed. First, marketing and overhead costs are astounding. I do the books for a successful agent, so I see what she goes through. I’m talking hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Also, dealing with people during one of the most stressful events of their lives is no picnic. You have to be a counselor, all…the…time. The hours are awful. All weekends, late night calls, etc. Finally, you’re an independent contractor, so no benefits, and your taxes are all on you. Looks fun on HGTV, but in real life? Not so much.
Kari says
My only hope is that you picked up a temporary holiday help job, and that “seeing it through” does not refer to a long-term gig. When there is light at the end of the tunnel it seems way more manageable. Wishing you peace and strength, Mavis!
Lisa MTB says
This is my guess, too. It sounds like it might be a retail job (where you could realistically have a boss in their early twenties because they may have been working there since age 16 or 17). I think a holiday temp job would be a good way to see if a particular job is right for you with no long term commitment (or even taking the idea of a job for a test run to see what it’s like).
Mel says
Most people don’t like all parts of their jobs. I don’t like most of the nature of my job, but it’s a “dream” job in other ways, and it’s certainly better than my last job, so I’m sticking with it. It all depends on what you want/need from a job.
And most bosses, regardless of age, don’t run things with the greatest efficiency possible. I spend very long stretches of time doing nothing at work. Most of the rest is busy work. I have maybe 30 minutes of rewarding job time a week. My boss is fairly good as bosses go, and he’s nearly twice my age (I’m in my 30s), but he still has no problem with me often having nothing to do. I have two degrees and loads of experience, but it’s his call if he decides that’s how my time should be spent.
All that said, if you don’t like it AND don’t need it, there is no harm in quitting. Trust me, as someone who has changed careers due to a truly terrible job situation, life is too short.
Pam says
Life is way too short. If you don’t like it and you don’t need the income then quit. Quitting is not always failing, it’s just realizing this isn’t what you want or need in your life right now. Be happy not miserable.
Tracy says
Oh for heaven’s sake now! Please ignore all the comments suggesting you reconsider or “maybe this isn’t the right job for you”. I have no idea what the job you’ve taken is, but I do know that there “ain’t no quitting only a few days or weeks in’. I mean, come ON, girl! Mavis, your job may be awful, I dont’t know. But I do know that your expectations are crazy unrealistic.
Consider this: You have been out of the job market for a very long time. You may be the smartest thing on two legs [wouldn’t surprise me at all, frankly] but you are a completely unproven commodity to employers. You need to get some stable work history under your belt, good practical and current work references, and some proven skills to leverage. Also keep in mind that when you accept a paid position anywhere, the contract is simply that you agree to do what they need, solve a problem your employer may have, etc. in exchange for a paycheck. Period! A fun work environment, a place where you are challenged and praised, etc. is lovely, but not necessarily part of the bargain.
I suggest you reframe your idea of success for this position. Instead of judging the role [after only a few days for chrissakes] based on how enjoyable it is for you, instead evaluate how good each day was by very different criteria.
1. How much you were able to over deliver on what you were asked to do.
2. How good you were able to make your much younger boss look.
3. How cheerful your attitude was.
4. How good you were able to make the people you came in contact with feel after interacting with you.
5. What were you able to learn…even if only about yourself.
6. And how tired your body feels after giving it your all.
In short, try some old fashioned humility. it also never hurts to approach your boss, or her boss and ask with a smile if there is anything more you could do to help since you’ve finished what was assigned. Mavis, I think you’re simply having some reentry anxiety….just change your attitude to one of positivity, make these people glad to have you, and reassess where you are in 6 months. Anything shorter looks sketchy on a resume. (And maybe ask your husband to give you a break…!)
Pam says
There was a time when I thought the same as some of the commenters have (“don’t give up, you owe it to the company to keep trying, etc, etc”). Now that I am older I think differently. I now realize time is short and I do not owe “the company” anything. Do you think they really give a crap about you? Do you think they would hesitate for one second to show you the door if they felt you were not living up to their expectations? I just think, as I have commented before, that life is way to short. If you are not happy with a choice you made you are not a bad person for admitting you made a mistake and moving on. I don’t think anyone should have to “suck it up” if they feel they have made a wrong choice. Only you really know in your heart what is right for you. Do what you know is right for you and don’t feel bad if you choose to quit.
Marcia says
You only really need to suck it up if you need the job.
I’ve also learned that companies, for the most part, don’t give a crap about you. They want the best people doing the most work for the least amount of money.
Tracy says
They don’t have “to give a crap about you”. Respectfully, they’re PAYING her. The contract is renewed every two weeks.
KOri says
I love this comment for me, not sure Mavis will appreciate it though. “I suggest you reframe your idea of success.” I have to remind my self this ALL THE TIME! And it is wonderful advice I use for my kids, on a kid level, of course. But it’s so true. It’s all about perspective and patience.
Leanna Thompson says
#8 – That is the main reason I don’t have a job. Hang in there. Keep counting the extra principle payments you will be making with that paycheck.
Linda says
You are hilarious , Mavis.
I wish you luck and have every confidence you will know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em.
Ruth says
I call them, like I see them, too
Working for kids and doing stupid stuff exhausts me.
If this is a paid position…….break down every 15 minutes into Principle Payment.
We can do almost 15 minutes of anything…..
I may be Un-Employable ( jaded?), at 57 years young and 35 + years in technical-high end sales, so take this with a grain of salt.
The WORLD IS CRAZY
Toni says
Keep in mind that there are likely many-many folks who would give a lot just to have a job like yours. Poor social skills, no transportation, medical – including mental health problems……….. all kinds of reasons why a person might have difficulty getting such a job. You made the decision to take that job with some idea of what was involved. If you don’t NEED to keep the job and you are clearly not enjoying it, step aside and let someone who does need it/will appreciate it have a chance.
Do what you can be happy with, or don’t complain.
Lisa Millar says
I am chuckling a bit too much over this, since CLEARLY (see what I did?) you are in mental anguish.
I look forward to reading ‘real working world’ updates.
🙂
Delores says
Mavis, you know we all REALLY want to know what the job is!
I mean, not necessarily the store name, but maybe specific store type:
coffee shop
home improvement store
grocery store
library
bank
major retail store
… Come on, stop torturing your faithful readers! 😉
Please. 🙂
Lauren says
I sooo agree – just the kind of job to give us an idea! We NEED to know!
sandy says
The best advice I can share is no to take this job too seriously. Do your best each day, give a little extra, but leave it at that.
These aren’t your friends, you have a life, you are there for only and only the paycheck.
We often take work too seriously, worry too much and think more of it than it is meant to be.
Don’t get involved in any personal lives of coworkers, don’t listen to drama or gossip, walk away from any inappropriate conversation, and know that you are wiser, more successful, confident and experienced than 85 % of the employees there.
This is a job-just a job. What you do for all of us is much more and is your career, after your family. So, give this job a chance with the attitude that this is just to get me to the next place in my life goal, it is for the family, and it is just where you are for a set amount of hours.
Give it 30 days to reach a comfortable level, and if it does not-than look for another position. If you start to feel some comfort in that 30 days, give it another 30 days and reassess. Always knowing that this is just a job-your career is at home
Cate says
Quit! Life is too short to be miserable and bossed around by a 23-year-old who has NO idea what life is REALLY about. What idiots put 20-somethings in supervisory positions anyway?
mandy says
Oh, this post made me laugh. I’m going to share it with my son. He always asks me why I read you so much. Well..now he’ll have an idea.
I hope it gets better in the next couplea days. I love that you went up to your supervisors to let them know how you felt. I’d have done the same.
I’m lookin forward to hearing what type of job it is.
Hang in there , if you just cant really stand it then just say sorry and walk.
Carrie says
Sounds like a retail job to me! I worked a seasonal position at Victoria’s Secret a few years ago. NEVER AGAIN unless I am verging on homelessness! If we weren’t slammed with customers then I was bored out of my mind. My direct boss was snarky but the store manager was really nice and down to earth. She still remembers me when I see her in town even though its 7 years later. I also hated force feeding customers a credit card spiel. I was asked to stay on permanently in January and I agreed since I was otherwise an unemployed college grad. I worked up to 40 hours and often times in the mornings stocking undies or helping “reset the store” which was better for me since I am an introvert and dislike talking to people on a consistent basis.
I wish you luck in this endeavor. Do what feels right. For me, I needed the work but actively searched for something in my desired field.
mdoe37 says
I’ll be returning to the workforce after an 18 year hiatus being a homemaker. I attempted to work a bit in the middle but gave up. One afternoon the husband called me at work and said, “Of that’s right you work until 6 pm tonight. I have some extra work I can do here so that you have time to get home and get supper ready.” Really.
So why would I put up with that attitude again when I go back to work….I won’t. I filed for divorce. That attitude was merely a symptom.
I am not looking forward to being cooped up in an office for eight hours a day. I typically have nothing in common with other women in the office (yakking about children and grandchildren etc). It is difficult to make small talk. I figure I’ll piece together a couple of part-time jobs so at least I have a change of pace.
Stacey says
It’s so important to enjoy your work. I hope you will either find the enjoyment in your new job or do something else. I enjoy my job, but there are still times that it’s slow and I get bored. Since I always have projects going at home, these are the worst times because I think about all I could be getting done at home. Any job will have its negatives, but only you can decide if the enjoyment outweighs them.
Rebecca says
Your revelations really made me laugh.
I have had similar experiences in my 40+ years in the workforce. I have had two jobs that were a good fit and lasted approximately 15 years each. BUT, I went through a stretch where I had 3 different jobs in 24 months due to miserable working conditions – – – the boss, the hours, the tasks. However, what I learned in hindsight was even in that miserable stretch of time I learned something that I was able to take forward to my other jobs that served me well – – – from specific skills, to how to handle a terrible boss, to how to cope with the stress of hating a job.
Virtual hugs to you Mavis. You will find your way through this. Thanks for entertaining us with your insights; hopefully sharing your revelations made you feel better also.
Linda Tibbetts says
Oh, Mavis, you sound trapped! I’m sorry this is so hard for you.
I do think, as your Mom said, that it is the real world and that some sucking it up is necessary in ANY job. When you first start, you won’t usually get the best assignments while your employer waits for you to prove yourself. But sometimes there are no challenging assignments and there is not much worse (yeah, there is, actually) than a job mismatch if you need the money and have to stay. Only you can evaluate whether that is the case, and you have the brains and the savvy to make the right decision for you.
Reading the comments you HAVE to know that there are many, many people who are supporting you in whatever you decide to do.
Brenda says
<3<3 <3 HUGS <3 <3 <3
Jane says
I totally empathize. A few years ago, I went back to work and ended up in a job that was just NOT ME. I would go to Starbucks on my break and wish with everything in me I could be behind that counter making lattes instead of doing what I was doing. I stuck it out for a year because it was in a school and I kind of had to, but the only thing that got me through was knowing it wasn’t forever.