How do you define good customer service? Apparently, it depends on where you’re from. I read this article the other day and it made me think. The author is British and almost cringes at the in-your-face customer service she encounters in America, that she says would be deemed rude in Europe. She says she’s trying to have a relaxing vacation, a quiet meal, some alone time at the pool and it’s virtually impossible when she travels to the states. She said America’s idea of customer service is to almost hover.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate good customer service – it’s just that America and I have very different ideas of what that constitutes. In the swankiest London hotels, the staff are nigh-on invisible, waiting at the sidelines until needed.
That’s the kind of customer service she’d like: employees there to help when needed, but not pushing themselves on you in an effort to up their tip amount. I understand where she’s coming from. That almost badgering-like customer service is one of the reasons I don’t like eating out. They ask if you want more water. You say no. They refill it anyway. And then you blink and they’re refilling it again. Sometimes every 5 minutes they’ll show up to refill my water when it’s only gone down an inch since they last topped off the glass. And then it’s almost like they have a required set of 10 questions they have at ask everyone… and YES, it does feel forced.
I also think they are always trying to rush people out the door, which leads me to my mother’s biggest pet peeve: trying to clear your plate before you’re even done eating. Again, it touches on the underlying customer service attitude: they are kind to you and unnecessarily eager to serve for the tips only. The faster they can get you in and out, the faster the next tipper can be served.
Here’s the thing, I can’t decide whether I’d be more annoyed at a lack of customer service or an overly-friendly, overly-attentive, overly-fake waitstaff. I guess it’s better to have too good of service than horrible service, right? But does too much of a good thing actually make it a bad thing?
We always have a choice in these situations. If the too-chipper, hover-y service makes you crazy, you can choose not to go out to eat, which is what I pretty much do. But I really enjoy trying a new restaurant in new city sometimes when I travel.
Have you noticed this extreme customer service behavior here, too? Do you mind it? Have you noticed a difference if you’ve traveled to other countries? What are your thoughts on this? Weigh in below.
Peace out,
Mavis
Mary says
My husband is British; his family live in England and they say the same thing. Plus, where they’re from, when you make a dinner reservation you have that table for the whole night–no feeling rushed out the door. They also mention that they’re used to making reservations everywhere–even their local pubs. Where as here, at least in the Pacific Northwest, almost nowhere takes reservations. But at the same time, they always talk about how cheap the food is here. Personally, I’d rather go out less frequently, pay more, and have a slower, more enjoyable dining experience.
Linda says
I agree with all of Mary’s comments. Also, some of the worst experiences we’ve had are from female servers who think that showing more skin up close will get them a better tip. In those instances I pay the check and reflect my displeasure in the tip and my reasons on a written note to management on the check. I also feel that the price of food/wine here is generally of not good value. We prefer to dress for dinner (cocktail dress, jacket/tie) and have no problem paying several hundred dollars for a (good value) fine dinner, great wine and excellent service. But there are only 1 or 2 places left in the Phoenix area where that is possible. The solution: we love to cook so we now dine at home, get great value in food and wine, still dress for dinner and get top shelf service 🙂
mable says
Ah…it doesn’t sound like you have ever been to an Indian restaurant in Britain, where I have lived. Talk about feeling like I am getting the bum’s rush, eat and get out is the attitude. Much worse than what I have experienced in the US.
Barbara says
As someone who has lived half her life in Germany, (and visited other countries) I prefer that system first for a variety of reasons. First and more importantly, watingis considered a job in Germany with good salary and benefits. I like that. Second, in Germany (and most of Europe) you are going to pay a percentage as a service charge as part of the tip. I HATE having to figure percentages and I have no problem with that.
now, my local gasthaus did not requir reservations, but they did have many tables reserved for special groups. And in germany at least they leave you alone and keep and it is polite, even the norm to wave or call when you need something and then they come quicklu. I personally like this way better. German restaurants are not more expensive in my experience, as for England, London just sucks the money right out of you, lol.
Shari Harniss says
Our first duty station after we were married, was Germany. It was the first and only time a waitress tried to take away my barely touched plate of food. I had to grab the plate back from her. Not enjoyable.
I don’t mind waiters topping off drinks, asking about the meal, etc. I consider it part of the service and the tip will reflect it.
Nora says
My European view: the more US-dominated companies show up here the more pushy and “offendish” the service gets. Nowadays every time you pop into a store they almost blare “Hi. Do you need help?” at you, even from far away. Makes me cringe almost all the times and is a reason why I don’t like shopping any more. I mean: I am capable of opening my mouth and articulating my needs. No need for anyone to frighten me with such greetings (most times you do not even see the people, because you are looking in another direction).
Jeanie says
Yes! This is a pet peeve of mine too. I like to anonymously wander into a store and then possibly wander right back out without a lot of conversation.
Mavis Butterfield says
Walking into a store and being asked “What are you looking for” or “Did you know we are having a sale today on…” DRIVES ME BONKERS and most of the time I will just walk right out of the store. I don’t want to be badgered. Not one bit. If I have a question, I’ll ask. Otherwise a simple “Hello” is just fine.
Barbara says
And the furniture stores seem to be worst at it. Last time I was in rooms to go, I had three separate people following me as I wandered through. When I decide, darn it, I’ll let you know.
Serina says
I have worked in retail in the states and from an employee point of view here. We are told to ask customers if the need help immediately so as to 1) Make them feel welcomed / acknowledged and 2) to prevent theft. Apparently people are less likely to steal if a employee is acknowledging there presence. They know they are watching! LOL!
But when I’m a customer I definitely appreciate little human interaction unless I initiate it myself.
Pamela says
Sometime they are forced to say those greetings or act that way. I work retail for a mom and pop store and they want us to greet each and every customer that comes through the door over enthusiastically. EVEN if that means yelling from the register Hi or Hello while helping another customer. We don’t want to act that way. We think is as bad as you do but WE NEED OUR JOBS!
Cheri says
Yes, my daughter worked at Hallmark, and they wanted her to follow the customers around the store and engage them in conversation while they were shopping. My daughter couldn’t do it, because she knew how annoying it was to the customers. Terrible policy.
Dara says
I worked retail for a while and had to do this as well. As an introvert and someone who is very conscious of manners, it was TERRIBLE! I believe it was to prevent theft. I guess people are less likely to steal if they know store employees are aware they are there.
Kristina says
I love having my water re-filled! But they don’t need to socialize with me while they do it. I think the European/American disconnect is one of familiarity. I’ve noticed that there is a certain formality that applies in such situations over there that is lacking here. The server isn’t my buddy, they are waiting on me. I think that distinction is often overlooked, whether from that sort of super-friendly, slobbery, big-dog-in-a-china-shop vibe my European friends ascribe to Americans (and Australians), or from explicit training. Also, over there it’s rude to bring the bill before it’s asked for because folks don’t like their meal being hurried along. I think over here, folks are used to table service being brisk and getting them on the road fast.
Jeanie says
Well….since you asked. I think customer service in the states is horrible. After traveling to Europe where waitstaff especially is trained to be subtle, American servers feel overbearing at times.
My pet peeves include being referred to as “guys”. My husband and I are middle aged. We really don’t like being called, “you guys” by someone in their early 20’s.
I hate it when waitstaff squats down by the table like they need to get down to my level. That is just awkward. I really don’t like having the water endlessly topped off. Refilled is great but topped off is always messy. If water gets on the table, I want someone to wipe it off.
I hate it when there is only one fork and you order a salad with your meal. Then I want another fork. I have actually been “schooled” in the idea that I should have kept my fork when I asked for a clean fork because mine had been cleared with my salad plate. I hate it when I am handed a large menu or wine menu and the waitstaff stands there while I read it. I always feel under the gun to make a quick decision.
Ugh. It’s making me hate going out to eat just thinking about it.
OregonGuest says
Yes! I’m a weirdo, but I end up ordering NOTHING sometimes, because it’s stressful to just pick something when the staff is lurking behind you. My mother always told a story about a great restaurant in the 1960s, where the staff was super attentive but practically invisible. None of the “Hi, my name is Susie, and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get going for ya?” When I lived in Germany, I remember all the staff (restaurants, cafes, grocery stores, clothing stores, etc.) being efficient but distant — there was none of the fake friendliness that Americans have come to expect. I’m sure Susie is a nice person and we might even be friends, but I certainly didn’t invite her to dinner! I’ve walked out of stores, car lots, etc., before when the employees attach themselves to my hip.
Sharon says
Two comments: 1. This is not just limited to restaurants or hotels; I recently contacted my wireless carrier to change my service, and had to endure similar entreaties about how my day was going/what the weather was like in my part of the country, and repeated assurances that the CSR just wanted to make sure I was happy. Of course, that was followed up with a plea to take yet another survey to verify that I was overfilled with joy with the person’s performance. Really, it was borderline assault!
2. I have worked in CSR positions where this fawning, obsessive behavior was demanded from upper management – followed by the ever present survey. In reality, it’s just as offensive to the people who have to spew this nonsense out, as the people who are the intended victims. This is all done so they can quantify how superb customer service is at their organizations when upper management has a meeting. Depressing all around.
Karin says
Oh, I HATE that! I’ve gotten sales calls where they start off chatting “so how’s your day going today?” and other nonsense. I don’t even answer, just ask “so, why are you calling?”
Sarah says
I don’t know if it’s just around Portland, Oregon, but when we’ve gone through Starbucks drive-thrus it is customary for the person at the window to ask, “so, what are you guys up to today?” while we wait on our drinks. Oh, how I hate this!! I appreciate that to some people this adds a personal touch, but to me it’s invasive and totally unnecessary.
I love the idea of servers leaving you alone until you ask them to come over to your table.
Serina says
I agree Sarah! I actually work at Starbucks and am on the shy side so I dislike that we are encouraged for this. Instead of talking to every person I will try to read body language and judge if the customer would even like to talk. My store is extremely busy when I work so we have less time for this.
Jfred says
The WORST are the waiters that want to be your bff when they wait on you, and have to crack a joke and/or interject themselves into the table’s conversation. I’m an introvert….I don’t WANT an extra person at our table. That said….I AM awfully friendly and do enjoy some waiters, and I used to wait tables for a living. But nowadays….it’s too in my face. There is a boundary some waitstaff are crossing….and it seems to be standard for certain restaurants. (Ask me when I last ate at our Cheddar’s, even though I adore their Monte Cristo sandwich….it HAS to be company policy for them to be so pushy. And really….get that NASTY card off my table, telling me the waiter’s hobbies and interests and fave foods….what the actual heck?! I go to a restaurant for a good meal….not to become bff’s with my waiter!!)
I used to LOVE this one Mexican restaurant when I was in my 20’s, and waiting tables myself. First, they had THE BEST FOOD; second, they were quick and efficient; and third..no one spoke good english….so my meals were quiet. I loved that.
We lived overseas for several years, and I fell in love with the long, leisurely meals with little interruption. It took 30+ min for the food. The waiters only came when you waved for them to. We could sit and enjoy good conversation. We never felt rushed. It was luxurious! My dh and I would LOVE a meal like that now, esp when we go out sans kids….as that doesn’t happen often enough. We want to just focus on US, and nothing else, for an hour or two!! We don’t want some stranger trying to make small talk with us. Honestly, I don’t CARE what their name is or their favorites for the night! It’s not about THEM! I should have my meal without really knowing they are there!
Brenda says
I hate it when you order an appetizer and it gets brought out with the meal. Or 2 minutes before. Now what do I eat: the app and let the salad sit, or let my meal get cold… There should be 10 minutes (at least) between app and the salad or meal. Give us time to eat the food we have in front of us.
Jeanie says
Oh my gosh yes! Or they serve the salad pre meal and you barely lift your fork and there comes your dinner. I never know what to do with all the plates….plus the incessant water refill or worse yet…if you order a beverage that is unlimited like iced tea and they keep bringing them before the first is empty. What am I supposed to do with all the half drank cups?
Sue says
I much prefer going out to eat when I’m in the UK, than in the US. These days, it doesn’t seem to matter what type of restaurant you go to, the waitstaff want to be your bff. I don’t like feeling rushed through a meal, particularly when ‘fine’ dining, yet that is how it seems.
It is not limited to restaurants. The store I work at, the ptb want every person on the floor to greet each person when they see them…no matter how many times you encounter them. That is not customer service; that is harassment, IMO. It’s not much different in other stores where I live. It is why I shop more online than I do in brick and mortars.
Jenell says
I was in a store recently and the sales woman followed me around constantly telling me every sale, etc, I felt so badgered by her I immediately walked out as soon as I could get away from her. And ya know I probably would have spent quite a bit of $ in there if she would have left me alone and let me look in peace.
Katherine says
Either someone is trying to hard to please or I can’t find anyone when I need help. It seems there is no middle ground anymore. In more and more restaurants not only do the waitstaff bug you to death but the manager visits every table. It’s just overkill.
Angi says
I agree about the no middle-ground. Best Buy and big chain home improvement stores like Home Depot and Lowe’s have almost non-existent service. On the other end of the spectrum, furniture stores have extremely pushy sales staff, always walking alongside talking about one brand or the other. I’m not likely to grab up a recliner and rush out the door to steal it! If I say I’m just looking, leave me alone till I ask for help!
Lisa says
As a longtime server, I can say the last thing I would want is for my table to be unhappy. The tough thing is that every diner has different expectations. With experience, you typically learn how to read a table’s needs but if you go to a chain restaurant or a faster service restaurant, they often have more inexperienced staff who rely more on whatever training the management has given them. However, there is one simple solution, use your mouth to make words and ask for the kind of service you want! You are spending your hard earned money and if you want to leisurely dine, even at Applebee’s, you can! But no one can read your mind if you don’t speak up and make your expectations clear, at the beginning of the meal. If you feel rushed it’s OK to politely say so. If you make a reservation tell the person at the time you call that you plan on relaxing and enjoying your evening so they can allow for enough time between bookings. And always keep in mind, holding a table for a longer time than a typical diner does hurts the bottom line for your server, and you should tip accordingly. I love when a table let’s me know if they are in a hurry or want to take it slow. Don’t be afraid to communicate, it will make the experience better for everyone!
mable says
Thank you for your sane response! If you don’t like something, say so. Seems like a lot of these complaints would evaporate if people spoke up. No one is trying to victimize you. The wait staff cannot read your mind. I like having my water glass topped off frequently, but if I didn’t I would say so. I have no problem saying we want to be left alone or asking for a pause between the appetizer and the main meal. (The cure for that is that we order the appetizer want to keep looking at the menu for the main meal. We don’t give that order until the appetizer arrives.) Don’t like to be followed around in the store, say so. When I get a call that starts off with a lot of chat I merely say politely that I don’t have time for chit-chat, why are they calling?
Lace Faerie says
Once again, the answer to life’s problem is honest communication! Who knew?
If I don’t want my beverage topped off, I just put my hand over the top of it as the waitstaff approaches with the pitcher of ice water or ice tea. Don’t even need to make eye contact.
As one who made a living in my teens and twenties waiting tables, I expect attentive service. If I push an empty glass to the edge of the table, I expect it refilled or removed if a refill has already being enjoyed. I also expect hot water to apprear if I leave the lid to my teapot open and I expect empty plates pushed forward with the silverware across it (or pushed to the edge of the table closest to the waiter) to be removed from the table. I expect service and yes, I expect to tip well for it, 20-25%.
As far as having to follow management’s words to the letter, I swear there are some layers of management that justify their position and salary by thinking up ways to torment the people who labor under them. I had a customer service phone position and they tried to make me ask, “How may I best be of service to you today?” I refused point blank. I said I had enough sexual harassment problems without such a suggestive question. “How may I help you?” says it all simply and quickly.
Mimi says
I’m pretty low maintenance and prefer minimal customer service. I don’t want to be your bestie just because you’re bringing me a plate of food. I do not remember names easily and don’t want to know yours. Polite attention to my basic needs will get you polite gratitude in return. Let’s smile and behave well but please don’t ask me about my day (especially if you’re just handing me coffee or ringing up a gallon of milk and I’ll be gone in a nano-second) – I have a lot of family members going through some tough times and it’s sometimes hard to be cheerfully trivial in my response. Sometimes I’m tempted to tell the truth about my day and that would be more than anyone bargained for! 😀
Jeanie says
Obviously this is a topic I could complain about as nauseum but all the comments reminded me of a recent incident we had when we went out for Fathers Day to a mid priced chain. First, the waitress insisted on referring to my husband as “Boss” which he didn’t really care for. As in, “what would you like to drink, boss” and in “how’s that beer for you, boss”. In addition the manager who was making the rounds to every table, stopped prior to our receiving food and asked how we had enjoyed the meal. When my husband said we hadn’t received any food yet, she made an excuse like we were accusing her. It was weird. In addition, since she was kind of snotty, he said, “And I don’t like being referred to as “boss”. She actually argued with him that it was ok. I thought the customer was always right.
Lisa says
My pet peeve is when you are checking out at a store and the cashier doesn’t bother to say “thank you”. I get lots of “have a nice day”, but that doesn’t make me feel like my purchase is appreciated. I usually say “you’re welcome” no matter what they say
rachel says
YES! I was at Ikea in Utah and clearly the cashier hated his job and held up our line forever with things on his end and I finally got to check out and he didn’t say hello, sorry for the wait, grunt at me – anything. Then it came time to pay and I swiped my card and he said, “Sign” and pointed to where I would sign. I let him have it. I’m only 33 and I’ve done customer service jobs and I know basic manners and HATE that my age group gets a bad wrap all the time because most of them are dummies. I said, “I stand here in line for THIRTY MINUTES while you are an idiot and all you can say to me is ‘sign?!’ Sorry you hate your job so much but you need to learn some manners, starting with ‘hello, sorry for the wait.'” He was embarrassed but the rest of the line appreciated it – because he wasn’t 21. He was probably my age! And if I lived in Utah and would have been able to go back to Ikea another time, I would have left everything and walked out but I had stood there for as long as I had and I needed those items. But I do not appreciate lack of common courtesy. At all.
Christine says
I live in Long Island, NY, and I can’t say that I’ve seen any excessive service. I go out as a couple or a foursome two or three times a month. The servers always come by at least once, and always come by if they catch me looking at them. Sometimes I’ve seen them chat with customers, but they never hang around chatting with us. Perhaps because we’re already occupied, or that I always end interactions with a nod and a firm thank you. When I’m in a store, a firm “thank you, but I’m just browsing” always works. I have a friend who can’t bear to say no to anyone’s face, and it causes her many problems.
Cheri says
Wow, I am just not as sensitive to these issues as most people here are. I get annoyed sometimes with overbearing or overfamiliar service workers, but generally speaking, it’s just not a huge deal. I shrug off most of it and am more annoyed when they aren’t attentive enough. The only thing I really, really don’t like is when they try to chat with you about your day and such, other than a polite “How is your day?”. It’s not the friendliness I mind; I just don’t usually feel like chatting and it’s too presumptuous.
Dan says
I guess I’m not really qualified to answer this. I have never traveled out of my country and I don’t spend several hundred dollars a year eating out in a year, much less one meal. The few times I do eat out I usually have to hunt the wait person down to get anything. If they do bring the check before I’m done they say they just don’t want me to have to wait and to take my time finishing.
Tracy says
Said Mavis: “I can’t decide whether I’d be more annoyed at a lack of customer service or an overly-friendly, overly-attentive, overly-fake waitstaff.”
That’s just it! The waitstaff in the UK (where I’ve lived, twice), aren’t demonstrating a “lack” of customer service, instead the customer service is exemplary, it’s just SILENT and unobtrusive. The specials are explained, thoroughly, concisely and quietly. Your water glass is just kept full. Your courses are just served. Your plates are just cleared. I don’t want to know my waiter’s name. I don’t care that she’s going to school at XYZ University. In an ideal world, I don’t even want to remember them. Don’t want it to register that’s it’s a woman or a man. I want to focus on my dining companion(s) and my food. I’m a proud American, but I do wish we would all just shut up once in a while!
John says
I highly suggest all of you try working a service job once in your extremely privileged lives.
Sarah says
Oh, John. Thank you for the reminder. It’s easy to forget that some people live like you, where opinions are an extreme privilege. I think a lot of Mavis’ commenters–like myself–live where expressing their opinion is not a privilege, but a right.
Best wishes to you, John in whatever oppressive part of the world you live in. I hope you escape soon.
Sarah
4 years food service + 14 years direct patient care.
Susan S. says
I could not agree with you more, John! Folks are really get irritated about how well people ‘wait’ on them? Really… ?I’m cringing. Not worth complaining about, in my mind.
Jennifer says
Yikes, all these comments about how people wish waitstaff would never speak to them and fade into the background are a little off putting. I don’t need to know someone’s life story for them to wait on me but I still treat them like an equal human being (which they are!). How dare the peasants speak to their betters! Sheesh.
Cheri says
Agreed. People seem a little bit overly-sensitive about this. I don’t like to be hovered over or chatted up, either, but you can’t blame service employees for doing what they’re trained to do. Complain to management about their training, not about the people trying to do everything right. And don’t blame them for trying to get high tips. They don’t earn much to begin with!
Lisa MTB says
Yes, especially if you go to chain restaurants. It’s part of the training in large corporate chains.
Laura says
Well, at the risk of sounding like a contrarian, I really dislike European “service” (at least at the sort of restaurants I can afford with three kids). I feel like I have to flag someone down to get a question answered, get the check, a refill on water or soda, etc. We quit going out to eat in Europe because it took FOREVER and we were actually just hungry and needed to fill some tummies before going home to bed so we could get up and do it all again the next day. Instead we pick up items at a grocery or market street and have a picnic in the apartment or hotel we are staying in. We can sit in our underwear and eat as fast or as slow as we desire!
I appreciate quick service and friendliness from US servers and I have spent several years in food service so I know what a challenge it is to put on a smile and be pleasant to some very unpleasant people. If I have hours to spare for dinner while on vacation (um, never!) maybe the sit around all night wait for a half hour for the check to come would be okay, but not in this season of life.
Tomato, tomahto I guess.
Kara says
At the expense if sounding like the crazy American in the room, I like being greeted in stores. I know it’s to prevent theft, but I like it anyway. If I have a question, I don’t have to track anyone down to ask it.
I also like full water glasses. And talking to the wait staff. I think it’s fun and part of the experience.
Lisa says
I was with a friend whose son had recently died at age 21 in an accident. We were having dinner and an obviously intense conversation. Our waiter was PERFECT! He kept an eye on the food and beverage only coming to top off wine glasses and remove plates as necessary without hardly a word. We were there for 3 hours. In total our bill was around $100. We both left $30 tips. I wrote a letter to the manager explaining how perfect the waiter made our evening. The manager wrote me back telling me how special that waiter was to the restaurant and explaining how he was forwarding my letter up the management chain so that ‘reading the customer’ would be included in the training. He also included coupons for free apps. SCORE! You can tell the difference between a server and someone who just waits tables – even in a Macaroni Grill.
gina says
I despise the kneelers and the early plate grabbers! The kneelers literally kneel as they “get down to eye level” with you, while they deliver their schpeel. The plate grabbers are trying to retrieve your plate as you’re mid-bite which TOTALLY pisses me off! I’ve never traveled out of the states so what do I know but I do know kneelers and early grabbers suck!
Jenny Young says
I’ve learned to politely state what kind of service I want. Most people really are just trying to do their job & please their boss. I’m not going to make it harder by moaning. If I want a relaxing slow dinner I say so. If I’m in a hurry I say nothing & usually they keep things moving.