When my kids were much younger, I was a totally anxious parent. I think part of it came from the unknown. I remember when it was time to take The Girl home from the hospital, I was like, “What, they are letting me take this human, without question?” As they grew, I worried that they would wander off, get hurt…you name it, I worried. BUT, as time went on, I kind of got the general hang of it {most days, not all}, and learned that kids are basically made of rubber. These days, I have hardly any anxiety about their well-being. They are both totally capable–probably even more capable than I was at their age, so I’ve learned to let my anxieties go.
It wasn’t until I stumbled onto this NPR article, that I really remembered those first anxiety ridden couple of years. The article chronicles one family’s struggle with a child with anxiety {anxiety that the mother was all too familiar with herself}. They had to learn to manage their son’s stress and anxiety, not by reassuring him, but by allowing him to potentially fail, and see that failure wasn’t really all that bad.
Thinking back to my own experience as a young mother it was learning that kids WILL fall, get sick, etc. that helped me. Once I truly understood that they were strong and that they would rebound, I was able to put my anxieties for them to rest. Don’t get me wrong, I still worry about them, as any parent would do, but I don’t dwell on all of the negative possible outcomes.
The article also pointed out that parents who struggle with anxiety often have kids that struggle with anxiety {if that doesn’t make you anxious, right? Ha!}. I am happy to report, my kiddos escaped adopting the anxieties of my early parenting years, but I totally see how they could have picked up my habits. So, how about YOU? Are you anxious? Do you have a child with the same tendencies?
~Mavis
Kathy says
Yes, and yes! In fact my husband is anxious and so are both of our sons…we joke about our anxious family. At least we can laugh about it, right? I remember when my youngest son was just little and he told me was feeling “nuwvus” (nervous) about something. It still makes me smile to this day. He shouldn’t have known what nervous means at his age, but alas he did, because he is growing up in an anxious family! We have all tried to work on letting some of our anxieties go, with some success. But it’s a constant struggle!
Karin says
Yes, and hate to break it to you it all comes back when they leave for college! Ours just finished his freshman year and was an hour away.(Just far enough that he couldn’t come home all the time!) He did great and my husband and I got through it! You worry so much and then its such a relief knowing they can survive on their own.
Kathy says
Not so much when they were yojnger as I am now. One drives 45 minutes to work on a freeway that can be backed up for miles for no reason but drivers are idiots and the other is testing his adulthood by flying a 40 seat puddle-jumper prop plane on his first air trip out of the country (Cleveland, OH to Toronto. ) I don’t fly, being claustrophobic and a huge fear of falling from high places make me so anxious I want to throw up. So im trying to be patient because he got bumped from his puddle-jumper and will be home 4 hours late. HELP! LOL