If you have followed my blog for any length of time, you know that I love to peruse through NPR articles. Early this morning {you know, when most normal people are actually sleeping?}, I came across a new article about being overwhelmed by not having enough hours in the day.
The article was all about a journalist, Brigid Schulte, at the Washington Post and her experience juggling work, family, marriage, and life. Her jam-packed days and overwhelming to-do list led her to write, Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time. She discussed the pull of working and the guilt of not being able to do everything for the kids. She also kind of touched on gender roles–how men and women have different demands and how it affects their leisure time.
She even went so far as to consult a sociologist who studies time. She provided him a list of her day, he showed her where she had leisure time. The total leisure time came out to 27 hours per week, but unfortunately, it was in bits and pieces, rather than satisfying chunks of time. She decided she was going to set out to redefine her priorities and make space for the things that mattered.
While I have always been a housewife {though, this little blog has turned into a full time gig, so maybe I need to redefine myself?}, I totally identified with making more space for things that mattered. We’ve all said “yes” to things that maybe, in the end, took away from what mattered most {baking 8000 cupcakes for school functions comes to mind}. I go through cycles where I feel like I have all my priorities squared away and I am spending my time exactly how I want, to then having so much on my plate I think that I would rather sit in a dark room and chew on my hair than tackle my to-do list. I think that’s why I came up with my list of goals this year. I wanted to take control of how I spend my time–and cut out the things that don’t matter or take away from what I love the most.
Is the feeling of being short on time a universal problem? How do you manage your time? Do you feel like there are enough hours in the day? Are you over-scheduled? Do you need to say “no” more often? If you have enough, how do you spend your leisure time? How would you spend it, if you could find the time?
~Mavis
Bridget Bugla says
Thanks for sharing this great article
Kate says
Man is your timing bang-on! I was wanting that dark room this morning! Then a friend said she was going outside in the sun to put the sheets up on the line for the first time this year and that kind of made my heart sing. So it might just be a bad case of SpringFever – but thanks for having that kind of day today, too, and for sharing it!
Ronna says
I feel like I can manage 1 priority at a time. Like keeping a clean house, raising veggies and making nutritious meals, or staying on top of my business. Put them all together and I am constantly juggling priorities and putting out whatever fire is burning brightest at the time. I feel like I am never finished with anything and do a mediocre job of everything. Frustration abounds!
Barbee says
Sad fact is that we, the women, demanded this.
The sexual revolution, feminism-we fought long and HARD for this.
After working in the corporate environment for over 20 years, I quit. I quit to become a ‘housewife’.
You would not believe how my former co-workers sneered, belittled and generally looked down their noses at me and my decision. I was stunned…..
….but now, 10 yrs later, I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. My husband is too.
Oh and weekends? We BOTH have weekends off now-to do what ever we want, with whomever we want.
(We just have less money to do it with.)
I think the real moral of the story is to do what is right for you and your family. To heck w/ what ‘society’ and other people think and expect from you.
Kate, I totally agree with you. We’re having that kind of day too. Sadly tomorrow is forecast to be quite the opposite.
But today? My heart is singing in chorus with yours. 🙂
Kate says
Barbee – LAAA LAA LA LAAAA – and suddenly we don’t feel so overwhelmed! Amazing. Should we have yuck weather tomorrow – I vow to write up a priorities list for my family. I do think that will help! Thank you!
Renay says
Yep, womens lib gave us the backbone to be ok with a CHOICE of how we spend our time, whether that be as a housewife (am one and proud of it!) or career or whatever. A wise woman (Phyllis Schafly) said ‘You can have it all, just not at the same time.’ I agree. Take care of the things that are important first (and maybe that is just work and family) and the rest can wait until later…whenever that may be. Love your blog, Mavis!
Renia Carsillo says
I listened to her interview on NPR this morning (during an in between moment that didn’t feel like leisure at all). My friend, who is a respected business coach, keeps telling me it isn’t a scheduling problem it’s a too much on the plate problem. Haven’t figured out how to solve it, but I’m going to pick up her book. I’m interested to see how she coped.
Carolyn C says
My Mom always said put first things first and everything else will fall into place. You can have a high power job and make all the money in the world, but No amount of money will buy you time with your kids when they are little. When your kids get bigger and move out and are on their own, you can’t go back and relive that magical time. So many Moms have no choice and have to work to put food on the table and give their children the necessities. I respect them and am many days in awe of them. I just feel that those of us who choose to live with less and stay home should not feel like we have to defend ourself. Being a Mom is a full time job.
Melissa says
well said!
Marcia @Frugal Healthy Simple says
Yup, I’m overwhelmed. I want to say no, but sometimes, there’s just nobody else.
Like, the PTA. Nobody will bother to volunteer. So…what? Then what? I have been volunteering, but I also have a 2nd grader, a toddler, and a full time job.
Virginia says
Ummmm… this woman clearly had time to write a book… soo…
Lissa says
Rock on you amazing ladies! We can have it all. Barbee, you said it best: Make the choices that are best for you and your family. I left the corporate fast track and LOVE being a wife and mother. I volunteer at school to keep my mind active and spend my free time (whenever I find it) doing fun things with my family. Happy!
Teckla Buller says
Ladies, perhaps we need to adjust our view point slightly. We are not just defined as”house” “wife!” We are home makers, home engineers, home managers, home consultants!!! These are positions that require the same excellent skills required in any corporate position and deserving of the same respect. Let the co-workers sneer–focus on the many, many positive aspects of managing our own lives, the lives of our families, the direction of our home life. Yes it’s hard work and sometimes we feel like we’re going nuts, but the tune is ours. We have freedom working women don’t. We can dance to the tunes WE choose, take the road that matches OUR needs, put our time toward the things that are most important to US individually. Mavis, you are a great, great example of this! You are a leader because you take a stand and share your knowledge, inviting others to take advantage of what you’ve learned, but not pushing people to be “exactly” like you. You go, girl!
Katie says
Bridgid lives in my neighborhood, and I’ve wondered sometimes how much of the feeling of being overwhelmed is from the pressure cooker that is Northern VA and the DC suburbs. The high-cost of living here makes is tough to sustain a decent lifestyle without two incomes or heavy sacrifice. Your peers are all those former go-getters from the student council who now want their kids to be in a gazillion activities. When you start to get the calls from the other moms in January about what summer camps you’re sending your kids to, and if you’re going to boot camp tomorrow at 5:00 a.m. to be followed by work, then taking the kids to ballet/swimming/soccer/t-ball/french/science camp. It’s a recipe for feeling overwhelmed. Add the hour commutes to work each way, and I’m always questioning whether the trade-off of living here for the multicultural, cosmopolitan life with access to some of the world’s best museums, arts and minds is really worth it.
Leftofordinary says
I heard her interview in the car the other day on NPR as I was cramming lunch in my face, waiting to carpool with another teacher to an information session, after volunteering at my kids school, setting up excel files for their dance academy, running laundry and walking the dog. I would be lucky to make it home in time to meet my kids bus to take them to dance lesson…. I laughed out loud at myself and mentally put the book on my to-do list. Bwahahahah. True story. I so need this book!