bits and bobs: A random assortment of things; small remaining pieces and things
All the tourists have packed up and gone home for the summer so treasure hunting at the beach hasn’t been very fruitful lately, but we did spot this little bear lovey on the sidewalk the other day. 🙁 It wasn’t there the next day when we went on our walk so hopefully it found it’s way home.
Mrs. HB sent me this picture of a 2 pound 3.5 ounce potato she dug up in her garden. Wowza! Did you grow anything especially large this year? Do tell.
I had no idea eating black licorice {one of my favorite candies} in large quantities could be bad for you, but a man from Boston recently died from eating too much black licorice {you can read the story HERE}. I don’t think I’ll ever look at a box of Good N Plenty the same. 🙁
This may seem kind of personal but I just want to say that I’ve been a long time follower of yours and I live vicariously through your goals. 🙂 My husband has chronic health issues and it’s been a very challenging time. It’s difficult to plan anything when it seems like all you can do is try to hold your head above water. Recently I’ve been working on trying to get my mojo back in spite of our circumstances.
I know you faced a similar challenge a few years ago and I was wondering if you could share how you bounced back. If not, it’s fine. Appreciate your blog!
~Wendy M
Hi Wendy,
I am sorry to hear about your husband’s chronic health issues. And I truly wish I had a simple answer for you about how I got my mojo back, as I know everyone’s situation is a little different. But for me, the number one thing that has helped me over the years is setting goals. Even if they are in the baby step form.
Setting {and having} goals always seems to shift my focus to the work at hand and keeps me excited about reaching the end result. I truly get up every morning enthusiastic about what I am going to do that day in an effort to inch one step closer to reaching my goals.
I wrote more extensively about how to get your mojo back a few years ago and you can click HERE to take you to that post.
Wishing you all the best,
~Mavis
P.S. If you have some tips for Wendy, please leave them in the comments for her to read. 🙂
Daisy says
I sadly knew about the licorice. You get high blood pressure from it. You also have to be careful if you like to drink herbal teas that contain Fresh Wood Root or Sweet Wood Root. It is what licorice is made out of. I had to stop drinking most of my favourite teas because of that.
Paula says
Hi Wendy,
I certainly can relate. I have also had a similar experience in the past. First, remember that they are your husband’s health issues and not yours. You are a separate person. You have compassion and give care, but you have the right to be happy and healthy. Invest in self care. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. Exercise is where I would start. Daily walks and you tube exercise videos are a great place to start.
Kim says
I have found myself in a bit of a funk lately as I, too, focused on a family member’s health situation. It dawned on me just yesterday that I was missing my usual goal setting format. Yes, even though my primary focus is elsewhere, I think getting started on a project I have been delaying would be good. The progress will be slower, but bit by bit, it will eventually get done.
Mavis, you are inspiring in this goal setting and goal progress process. This is one (of many) reasons I enjoy your blog year in and year out.
Toni Wood says
I faced a heartbreaking loss two years ago that left me just numb and unable to do much of anything but eat and sleep and precious little of either. I made a goal, something very simple, like make the bed or clean a section of the kitchen. It gave a real feeling of accomplishment. Then the next day another very small goal or two. You are so overwhelmed with things that are out of your control that it’s difficult. Hugs from me to you!
Pam says
I have lost a lot of people in my life, several within a very short time, I felt overwhelming sadness, like how could the world just keep going when this had happened? My start back to normal came from something Oprah said..”Everyday find three things to be grateful about”…… some days its harder than others…..the cute squirrel , the little boy that waved from the car beside you, how delicious a warm oatmeal cookie taste! Its like it changes your mindset once you start looking at how much you have instead of how much you have lost. Bless you.
Elle says
My Brandywine plant gave me 2 huge tomatoes: 1.3 pound and 1.5 pound. Oh so yummy! Each was a meal alongside a string cheese. YUMMERS!!!!!
And of course, there were the “runaway zucchini” as those suckers can hide in plain site! They get seeded and grated and bagged for the freezer for winter baking or tossed into a pot of chili or lasagna Bolognese.
Wendy, I spiraled down when my Mom died when I was just 46 (Dad preceded her by 14 years). The only way I could get back in the swing of enjoying life was to set small goals-as described by other commenters here. What gave you joy a year or 2 ago? Write a list of baby steps you can take to experience that joy again. Gardening is very therapeutic and healing for me and although it is fall, digging in might help you too. The earth has amazing healing properties. Hugs to you.
Coleen says
Hi Mavis! Just wanted to say I got my Esty order today and I love everything I ordered. Most of it is for Christmas gifts. The shipping was timely, the packaging perfect and the tea bag was a nice touch. Thank you for such great product and service!.
Sue says
Colleen, I have ordered from Mavis several times and it’s alwaysa treat to open the package.
Plus, it comes super fast. Super talented lady.
Coleen says
I agree Sue!
Mavis Butterfield says
Thanks Coleen, I’m glad you liked everything. 🙂
Constance H says
Structure is very important. I’ve been in a slump since this whole Covid thing. I always kept busy including caring for my son who is 7 and I am 57. Then the world almost completely stopped. I have been cutting and freezing all of the fresh veggies grown in my community. It’s makes me feel like I am accomplishing so much every time I open the freezer. I do it in small chunks. I am also making sure I make our beds, clean kitchen, and tidy up the apartment. That’s all I try to accomplish as getting back to my active self.
P.S. sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed with what Mavis accomplishes in her goal lists.
Linda T says
My husband died of lung cancer when I was 48. He was diagnosed in mid-September and was gone by February. My father died about a month later. I was paralyzed with grief, and depression. We had moved in September just before his diagnosis and I knew no one. I felt like my life was over and wished that it would be. Hospice had helped us out with my husband’s illness, and they invited me to a Grief Workshop which resulted in me knowing others. But one other thing that really helped was that I read a very short, entertaining book about change called “Who Moved My Cheese?” I recommend it highly. It was very thought provoking, and got me going in the right direction.
Wendy, you’ll be in my prayers tonight. Sending mental hugs, too!
Leslie says
Wendy,
I sympathize with your troubles. After one of my parents died, I went on a mild antidepressant, which has helped. (I know grief is normal, but depression has been an issue in past ). Through the years, I’ve also realized I need vitamin D, sunlight and daily walks, at least.
During covid, talking to friends is very helpful — and comedy. I’ve binged several goofy British series that I find amusing. Don’t watch too much TV news (read a bit of news instead).
Good luck
Marilla says
Hi, Wendy. I went through about a year where I was very sick and barely functioning. During my lowest times, I would say in my mind, “Just get through the next hour.” Then when that hour was over, I felt like I had accomplished something and was strong enough to focus on the next hour. I told myself “You did it before, you can do it again.” My other mantra (that I want to get as a tattoo) was “This, too, shall pass.” Your life wasn’t always like this, and it won’t always be like this. I know that is hard to believe sometimes in the moment.
Lana says
Wendy,
We are almost four years into a traumatic brain injury for my husband which changed our lives forever. It is like a grieving process and takes time to get through. In the first two years I went through many emotions including feeling trapped and being angry but I feel like I have worked it all through now and do very well with it most days. I have learned to take things as they come and know that if we are having a bad month then next month will likely be better. It is a lonely life since my husband cannot be around others for long periods of time without getting overwhelmed. It helped me to do some things by myself and to encourage him to spend time doing some things that he enjoys alone each day. I can get a break even just going outside and sitting on the porch swing alone and my husband enjoys woodworking so he spends some time in his workshop each day. Every day that you make it through at the beginning is another day of adjustment done and you don’t have to do that day again. There are sad things like our desire to travel the country in our RV we will never do and the RV was sold. We planned to go and visit family over Labor Day weekend but he was not doing well enough to travel so we could not go. These things are sad but I have would rather have him here with me with his injury than be alone after 42 years so I remind myself of that when the going gets tough. I hope some part of this helps.
Brianna says
I always find it inspiring to read about what others are going through. It helps me put it in perspective and see how others adapt. This is inspirational to me, my hubby is in his early 40s and has become 100% disabled as a result of his service. I know our days of some abilities are numbered. We too had plans to travel in an RV when the kids are out of the house, but instead we have ‘moved’ all of those plans forward and try to do as much as we can now because in 10 years it will probably be a dream of the past. Our kids are 6, 9, and 11 and they have a hard time understanding sometimes why daddy can’t do some things, but I focus on resiliency. I have started hiring out more around the house and learning how to do things myself. We have a 1 level ADA house, but it is almost too much to maintain and keep up with when it gets bad. We need it for him and the bedrooms for the kids. I am hoping to downsize to something more manageable once the kids are out of the house, but for now it works. I am grateful Just to see him everyday, but the stress and uncertainty of the future I try not to think about, but we have prepared and planned especially with young kids. I just take it week by week and some of those weeks are awful and others are smooth and uneventful. I hate when people feel sorry for me or our family or say “how do you do it?” Or “Everything happens for a reason.” It is my life and I am still trying to accept it some days. My escape is baking and exercise, it helps me ground myself and get some patience and not be so frustrated. We have also done counseling to manage some of the stress and I have learned to be flexible with plans.
Anna says
Oh, I had no idea about the licorice! Bad news for me, as I can plow through a bag of Panda candy very easily -black licorice is a favorite of mine. Thank you for this random PSA!
Ramona says
I’m still going to eat my Red Vines black licorice! I don’t eat it every day but once in awhile. Went to the store today and could not find any black just red. I am curious if the more natural licorice has more of the “bad” stuff in it that Red Vines or Twizzlers. Mavis have you been able to find Red Vines yet?
Mavis Butterfield says
Not locally, no. It’s so weird. The Northeast is Twizzer territory! 😉
Wendy M says
Hello, Mavis and everyone,
It’s been a little over two years since I asked Mavis for her advice. I want thank her and you all for your comments and kind words. At the time of this post, the thought of responding to everyone seemed quite overwhelming to me so I apologize for the delay.
A quick update on my situation. At the time of my post, my husband did not have a name for his condition and yet I had to keep going somehow. We have learned this year that my husband has a rare neurodegenerative brain disease called multiple system atrophy. He has declined to the point of being admitted to hospice. It has been a rollercoaster and a relief to finally have a diagnosis. It’s been a process of one step forward and two steps back at times. Some days it’s been difficult to just do the basics and other times I am able to practice self care. I’ve grown since I wrote this comment, which is a bittersweet thought. Thankful for the growth but not the path that it took. I also lost my 47 year old brother in the summer of 2021 to a rare and aggressive oral cancer. I have learned time is short, not to take anything or anyone for granted. And finally, whatever is important to you, do not wait. Do it now because you may run out of time.