Because you’re going to be hearing about these two A LOT over the next few days, I figure I’d better introduce them {well I’ll let Amberlina introduce herself because she clearly has to get something off her chest. You’ll see}. These girls are fun and crazy and awesome. And when you get them together, they are always entertaining. Well, at least they think they are. I think you’ll like them. Let’s hope I still do after this trip! ~Mavis

Meet Amberlina

Hi folks. I’m Amber, or Amberlina as Mavis so lovingly refers to me. Growing up they called me Amber Bamber, so I respond to that too. Actually, right about now you could call me any name in the book & I’d still be up for this fantastic voyage across the great U-S-of-A (if you are now singing, “slide, slide, slippity slide,” I suspect you too have some questionable 90’s school-dance moves I’d love to see. And if you have no idea who Coolio is, but are now thinking of miniature submarines then you too have been subjected to the oddest movie in history. And no, you can’t ever get those 2 hours back). You see I’d probably follow Mavis anywhere (and not just because she’s one rad chick) if it meant a vacation from my mini me’s. I have two pint-sized blondes that rock my world in the best way, most days. As daughters go, they’re pretty awesome. Until they turn on you and, in a seemingly coordinated attack of awful, whine/fight/complain their way under your skin until you are reduced to their level and display an embarrassing full-on kicking, screaming, pound your fist on the ground adult tantrum. Yep. That happened. Luckily my hot husband wasn’t there to witness it.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love being a mom. And while I’m probably screwing them up 8 days a week, I genuinely adore the little people they are turning out to be.  Or I did before the onset of Summeritis. I don’t think they’d ever admit this, but I’m pretty sure they are over summer and ready for structure and schedules. And my idyllic Norman Rockwell summer plans are now teetering on Bundy family nightmares. If I hear one more, “Mom, I accidentally spilled the homemade finger paint (that Pinterest swore was easily washable but we all know Pinterest is a conspiracy filled of lies and shattered dreams) all over your freshly shampooed carpet,” I’m going to put them on Craig’s List. And because 2nd and 4th grade doesn’t start tomorrow, I need a little break from my peeps. My sanity requires it.

So this gnomealicious trip to Memphis could not have come at a better time. And the fact that it’s benefiting one of my favorite charities of all time (my little sis also happens to work for St. Jude’s so seeing her is a super bonus), makes it pretty much irresistible.

While I have dreams of a Thelma & Louise-type road trip (we’ll steer clear of cliffs, of course) I suspect it’s going to end up along the dysfunctional lines of Little Miss Sunshine with a Planes, Trains & Automobile twist. Because boring is simply not in our DNA (except for those other 360 days a year when I’m in PTA-mom-mode and not hanging out the window of a Motorgnome). Regardless of the adventures we stumble upon, I know it will be a trip for the ages and one I will never forget. I’m giddy like a little kid and just caught myself dancing around my living room while packing. Come to think of it, that earlier tantrum makes a little more sense now. Apparently I’m a child trapped in an adult’s body. Let’s just hope no one gets put in a time out this trip.

St. Jude or BUST. Bring it on!

Meet Lola

I met Lola through Amberlina.  We hit it off right away, because, well, Lola is amusing.  She is quirky—not in a silly off-beat sort of way, but more like she is an 80 year old woman trapped in a 30-something body.  She says things that sound old-fashioned, and she appreciates things like the smell of honeysuckle in bloom and how her toe always hurts right before a big storm.  Unlike an 80 year old woman, though, Lola cusses like a sailor.  It’s a really interesting mix, I tell ya.  Like Ying and Yang in one little package.

Lola has two young kids–a girl and a boy.  She is married to a man she calls her lobster {apparently this is because Lobsters mate for life}.  She cans, she gardens, and she is a foodie through and through.  In fact, she will chat your ear off about nutrition and the power of food, which is why it is extremely important never to give her an opening.

Here’s the best part:  Lola loves Dolly Parton.  No, seriously, she loves her.  So taking her into Dolly country ought to be a real hoot.  Hopefully, she doesn’t any pull any superfan craziness and get us kicked out of Tennessee forever.

Lola is always up for a good adventure, so I am happy that she agreed to pack her bags {mostly full of gnomes} and head out across the country with me.

So stay tuned, it’s going to be an awesome ride!