Last night while I was wasting time on the internet, I stumbled upon the PERFECT gift for my husband and so I ordered it. He’s going to love it, I just know he is. Even better, it’s the sort of thing he doesn’t even know he wants but once he has it… it will a total game changer.
He’ll have to do a little research before he uses it {something he LOVES to do} and well, since he reads the blog these days, I don’t want to give any other hints about it, but I know he’s going to LOVE IT and it will be a total surprise and that makes me happy.
We usually don’t give gifts to each other when it comes to holidays or birthdays. Mainly because if either of us really wants something, we’ll just buy it ourselves. So when one of us finds something for the other one that is totally unexpected, it’s kind of exciting and fun.
And that made me wonder… how many more couples are out there are like us? Do you and your spouse rarely exchange gifts? Always? Are they surprises or are they something you asked for or had to drop some serious hints about?
Have you ever been given {or received} a gift from/to someone and it was a total dud?
I’m convinced I have picked the perfect gift for the HH, but I suppose we’ll have to wait until Christmas to find out.
~Mavis
Robin in WI says
My hubby and I are like you guys. Rarely exchange gifts, and if we really want something and can afford it, we just get it. 🙂 He asked me if I wanted anything for Christmas, and I said he gives me enough year-round but if he wanted to he could take me out for beer-battered walleye for my birthday.
Sarah Studzinski says
Robin-I hope your’e having an old fashion with that fish fry!!
Robin in WI says
You bet! 😉 We also have a bottle of Yahara Bay 3rd Gear Old Fashioned bourbon blend, made in Fitchburg, WI. 🙂
Margaret G Hudgins says
Oh Robin, I grew up in Minnesota and lived there until well into my 20’s. Walleye is my absolute favorite fish ever, but having lived in the south (Ok, Ar, Tx) now for the better part of 50 years, I have been denied my Walleye as lakes “down here” are too warm. You made my mouth water lady. lol
Robin in WI says
Oh, I didn’t know they prefer colder waters. Does that mean there aren’t a lot of trout down south?
Nancy says
The exact same answer here! We get what we want/need throughout the year. Maybe splurge on specialty food/drinks to enjoy for holidays.
Let’s all meet for fish fry Robin! (well, not really since we don’t go out much since covid). We are in Northern Wisconsin.
Robin in WI says
Hello, fellow Wisconsinite! 🙂
Love it up north. My grandparents lived on White Potato Lake, not far from Mountain and and Lakewood.
lynne says
Greetings from another part-time, soon to be full-time, Wisconsinite :-). Brandy old fashioned, sweet, if you please.
Robin in WI says
Welcome! 🙂
Erin says
We never used to exchange gifts (or rarely did) for the first 15 or so years, then we decided that it was fun shopping for the perfect gift for each other. Now we buy for Christmas & birthdays, with a set dollar amount. We make each other a list of things that would be nice-to-have but we wouldn’t necessarily spend for ourselves. This way, we always gift something the other would definitely like but it’s still a surprise. We reevaluate stuff like this often, though, so this new-ish tradition may change. It’s been fun celebrating each other, though. Now that we exchange gifts, I wish we always had! It’s always fun watching my favorite person open his gift!
Rosemary Calhoun says
My hubby and I do not exchange Christmas gifts (or birthday gifts, etc.). If we see something we want, we buy it. We do get each other a couple of “goodies” for the stocking such as candy treats that we don’t normally buy.
We do have some fun with it! For example, if it is our anniversary and he sees a pretty bunch of flowers in the store (like Costco or Publix) he will tell me that he “would have bought them”. I do the same thing – I usually see something really expensive and tell him that I would have bought it for him. We don’t spend any money and we have a good laugh about it.
Kirsten says
In the past, we really went overboard with purchasing gifts for each other for birthdays and Christmas. But, over the past couple of years, we’ve really analyzed our spending to see if we’re on track for his retirement, and have since become more frugal, minimalist, and intentional with our purchases so we can stay on track and reach our goals. So, instead of a bunch of stuff, now we usually buy each other new backpacking gear that the other has mentioned needing throughout the year (we backpack together for vacations), or other practical stuff that we would never buy for ourselves but would be nice to have.
Jam says
I like your comment about staying on track for his retirement. Being able to retire on track will be the best gift you can give him and you.
Elle says
We don’t traditionally exchange gifts. More like you, find something “perfect” near a celebration day and then we do. We are 60 and 41 years married. We can afford anything we want and just get it. I don’t even recall when we stopped with traditional gifting-maybe 20 years ago?
Lana says
We exchanged gifts for about the first 35 years but it got to be so hard to find a perfect gift that we agreed to stop and that goes for birthdays, too. Instead we usually do concert tickets once a year and buy a big ticket item if one comes along that is a need. It has taken so much stress off that we would not have it any other way now.
Mel says
We do Christmas (gifts and stockings) and birthday, but we usually skip anniversary, Valentine’s, etc. The amount and type of gift changes based on what the other person wants and what else we have going on. This year, we both managed to get each other toys, which I find amusing. He got me a replica of a doll I had growing up, and I got him a toy train to go around the Christmas tree.
Lindsey says
Married 38 years and for the last decade his gift to me for every holiday is the same: 8 hours of uninterrupted labor to do exactly what I want. He fixes stuff all the time, but what he thinks is a priority is not always my priority (put a new window in the chicken house…repaint the inside of the chicken house…and stuff like that). So for those hours, I give him a list and he tackles what I want done. My gift is usually that I cook five meals he loves that I hate (like anything with beans makes me gag). I would do that if he asked anyway, but he usually does not so this gift is a way for him to eat what he loves more often. We also give each other tiny gifts, like he might get me a candle or a set of ramekins shaped like pumpkins (one of my favorite).
Grove in SC says
I have bought multiple dud gifts for my wife. A silhouette vinyl machine, a fitness watch (which she asked for), and others. The funny thing is that my oldest daughter found the Silhouette a few years later and used it a ton. So someone enjoyed it. My wife usually sticks to getting me simple food gifts like beef jerky and chocolate which I love. Often, through the year, she puts stuff in our Amazon shopping cart, I will ask if she wants it and get it for her.
Marcia says
Married 25 years, and we rarely do gifts. It’s stressful! I figure if I’m able to come up with an idea for our minor children to get him for Christmas, that’s good enough.
Lisa says
Definitely. Married 25 also. The stress. I usually give the kids my ideas
Jamie says
We occasionally surprise each other with tangible gifts, but this is random, rare and not attached to a holiday. For holidays/birthdays we gift each other experiences, many of which are scheduled to occur during vacations. For example, this last year we went to Florida for a few days of (his) work and I surprised my partner on his birthday with a swimming with manatees outing. It was something he had always wanted to do, but we had always put off due to finances/time constraints. This year I was able to work it into our budget and the timeframe of our trip.
Sue says
I’m so glad to know that we’re not the only ones who struggle with this!
After 43 years of marriage, it’s pretty hard to come up with original and fun gifts, so we’re becoming more minimalist each year. That’s hard for my hubby, though, because his love language is gift-giving. He likes to wrap them, too!
I can’t wait to learn what you’re giving your husband, Mavis!
Patti says
We have been married for 45 years and yes, we give each other gifts for Christmas and birthdays. Usually it is something we have asked for (my husband wants a small power washer this year) and I want a few decorative things for the house but I like to have some surprises. Same for my son who is an adult now. Just makes it fun to see them open it and be surprised… hopefully in a good way.
Tonya says
Yes, we have given each other gifts all 25 years of our marriage. For birthday, Christmas etc
The worst gift I ever received from my husband was a bathroom scale! I had mentioned a few weeks before that we needed one and he saw this as the perfect opportunity. My parents and kids were dying when I opened it up. I was speechless!!
Mavis Butterfield says
Worst.Gift.Ever. WOW!!
Jennifer says
Our anniversary is 11/30, so ear!y on, we would give gifts then. Then came kids and we focused on them. Now, we can’t justify the expense and will give each other a small very inexpensive gift. This year, ironically enough, I entered a sweepstakes – I enter about 5 a day on average for fun, usually only for cash or gift cards – because the prize was a pair of Bose headphones. I WON!!!! Dh’s passion is music and since he is disabled, HS makes playlists and listens to music for hours at a time. This year will be a good Christmas for him.
Tonya says
❤️. Love it. Congrats
Barbara says
I don’t have a spouse and my family exchanges 1 name each. However, I have a friend that every year she gives the worst gifts. It’s like absolutely no thought went in to it, lol. But we all love her anyway and just make a donation.
I am totally grateful for the friendship. As a minimalist, its all I need. And like you, if I need anything, I buy it myself.
Heidi P says
We’ve been married for 33 years and we do exchange gifts for Christmas and Birthdays. I don’t really NEED anything. I’m thinking of suggesting we not buy gifts this year. My husband is very generous year round.
One year early in our marriage he did get me a vacuum cleaner. He hasn’t lived that one down. I’m guessing he presumed I didn’t have one since I rarely vacuumed. He loves to vacuum now. It’s a real win for me.
LindaT says
My HH hates Christmas. He had a difficult childhood and alcoholic parents were just more that way because holidays were the excuse for earlier drinking. Usually fights or embarrassment ensued. The kids got a pack of lifesavers for Christmas. When he married, his wife loved Christmas and so he decorated the house “like a casino “ because he loved her, but he hated it. They were married many years (40+). I met him well after she died. He is a good man, very generous and kind, but he tends to get stuff he knows I’d like when it isn’t a holiday. He enjoys surprising me, like when I’d spent several days cussing my old sewing machine and walked into the dining room to find a new, jazzier model last summer. I do minimal decorating since his and my kids are grown, which suits us fine. After reading these letters, I’m going to grow up and stop secretly wishing he’d buy something on Christmas.
Cindy Miller says
We exchange gifts. Neither of us really asks for anything specifically.
Teresa Young says
We’ve been married 32 years. Like many here, if we want/need something, we buy it. For Anniversary/Birthdays/Christmas, we usually think of a local place or event we want to go to, and combine it with a meal out.
Elaine says
We’ve been married 20 years, and in our 60s now. It does get harder to find a fun or surprising gift but for me, it’s worth the effort. I love Christmas, he is ok with it, lol. But he indulges me my decorating and I try to cook his favorites – because that’s where he lives! I’m always on the lookout for something unexpected for him. We don’t do expensive, just thoughtful. My dud gift to him was early in our marriage – a metal detector. It went out once. So much for getting him to walk!
This has been fun reading!
Sandy Cirello says
We’ve been married 38 years and love exchanging gifts with eachother. The gifts are always exciting!! We travel alot so it’s easy to find something great to give each other. It’s a thoughtful deed!!
NLB says
Like most, we buy what we want throughout the year. At Christmastime, we adopt a needy family with the money we used to spend on each other. It’s so much more fun. We spend one full day shopping for gifts, another wrapping, and a third buying groceries for Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day, we’ll talk about so-and-so’s gift and wonder if they enjoyed it. The best part is no messy living room filled with boxes and paper. Win-win. I do miss when the kids were little making the mess, though. Merry Christmas, y’all. Can’t wait to see the gift, Mavis.
Mrs. M. says
What some may think are the worst gifts, we’ve appreciated.
One year we bought each other a shop vac for Valentine’s…. still using it! We couldn’t afford much back then and felt blessed to get things we needed.
We’ve been married 27 years. If we find something thre other one needs or will love, we buy it and gift it. If we don’t, we’re fine with that, too.
We both love giving gifts, so our adult daughters and their fiancees get spoiled.
Kristen says
Our love language is not gifts. My husband always felt bad about not buying me things, but neither of us care to have stuff or unwrap stuff!
But we have kiddos at home and enjoy gifts with them and they expect *something* for mom and dad on mom and dad’s birthdays and during Christmas gift-giving, so this year I used the “Want, Need, Wear, Read” model. Everyone is getting 4ish gifts, including mom and dad. My hubbs is picking out the book for me, and I buy everything else. #onlineshopping
Robin Martin says
We go through the same thing at birthdays and Christmas, if it is something we really want or need we get it. So at the holiday sometimes we buy for the house, a new tv, new curtains, new bedding, or a new appliance. And then there are little things like socks, t shirts if needed or small snacks like nuts or flavor popcorns, these can be wrapped and put under the tree or in stockings.
The kids are hard to buy for now because they are at the age were they don’t really want to toys anymore so we try to find little novelties or snacks they love also.
Sue Edwards says
we buy a very small gift to open on Christmas morning. Since our kids are all grown, if we didn’t do that, it would just be another morning. We have been married over 35 years, so it is not like we need anything. It is just fun to have something small to open on Christmas morning. Our budget is $25.00.
Tamara says
We’ve been married 47 years. We’ve gone from thoughtful, mostly inexpensive gifts before the children came to Santa stuffing our stockings when they arrived. Since they left home we’ve concentrated on things to/for the house/property and experiences (short trips, concerts, etc.). The five grandsons get a Christmas book, another book, a small toy and money for their savings accounts. They and their parents, along with us, get a week at the beach in the summer. Every year we give each grandchild an ornament that represents something from the past year; since baby sea turtles were the highlight of the 2021 beach trip they now have a baby sea turtle ornament on their respective trees. My gift from them is a yearly calendar of the grandsons featured all year. My HH receives wool socks. It is a family joke and he loves not having to buy socks! Being together is the best gift.
Jenny says
For a few years now we just do a gift for each other from “Santa”, cause everyone needs a gift from him! Birthdays are hit and miss depending. Anniversaries tend to be a no
Jam says
We don’t do gifts for holidays or birthdays either. But every once in a while hubs will see something he thinks I will like & will get it for me & it is really the most thoughtful surprise. We try to go on a date every week & like you & so many others who commented if we find something we want and it’s in the budget, we usually just buy it for ourselves anyway.
Stacie says
My husbands love language is gifts. He loves giving lots of gifts and receiving lots of gifts. His parents have always had a really big Christmas so most of the gifts are given and received at Christmas. We also do 1 – 2 gifts at birthdays and 1 anniversary gift. During the year, we don’t do much gift giving to each other.
Randini says
We’ve started giving each other, and the family as a whole, experiences. Last year we all went white water rafting and stayed at a cute log cabin on the Lochsa River in Idaho. This year we’re gifting the family several days of kite surfing on the Wind River.
LaToya says
A little late to the party here ….
We are about your ages and married about the same years as you all … not quite empty-nesters yet though. HOWEVER. We DO buy gifts for each other for Valentines, Birthdays, and Christmas (gifts + stockings). Sometimes anniversary, but not always – it’s usually a card and dinner out or a card and a little trip.
My husband’s mother made Christmas very special for them, and we continue a lot of their traditions. My family was the opposite – we didn’t always have food and rarely received gifts for anything. So, it’s what we do – gifts, gifts, gifts.
I have a friend who is in her late 50s and she and her husband don’t do gifts for anything. And, they don’t have kids. So I was just thinking last night what Christmas morning is like with no kids and no gifts. Just another day? But, to each their own. Christmas is my jam!