While I was looking through our family photos for this series, I was shocked to see so many pictures of my husband painting, gardening, building fences and so on. Because I was like, WHO IS THIS GUY? And then I came across the photos of the first house we built. And I was like, ahhh yes, this is the house that broke my husband. The house that made him not want to do another DIY project ever again.
If I’m remembering correctly, we sold our previous house like the day after Christmas because we spent Christmas morning in a packed Denny’s eating oily pancakes and we were all tired from my parents Christmas party the night before. I think my parents were headed out-of-town the next day and while we waited for our house to be built, the plan was to move into my parent’s basement while they were out of state for a few months. It was a win win for all of us, my parents had someone to look after their home while they were away, and we had a place to stay rent free. The commute was long, but it was worth it.
After about the first week, and a couple of giant wood spiders later, the kids were afraid of staying in the basement. So we hauled the kids mattresses up to my parents room and we all slept in the same room for few months. And I remember being in close quarters was actually kind of fun.
The reason my husband doesn’t take on big house projects anymore….
That back retaining wall…. Whoa Nelly it was an undertaking for one person. Especially for someone who had never built one before. When it came time to build a fence I remember my husband flipping out just a wee bit and throwing his arms in the air and telling me we were going to PAY SOMEONE ELSE to build it. Looking back, it’s kinda funny now, but at the time, not so much.
Whateva. He did a marvelous job on that wall, and built us an amazing fire pit too. The kids and I planted a giant vegetable patch all along the back and one summer we even planted those mammoth sunflowers around all three sides of the fence. It was THE BEST house for that period in our lives. My husband worked just 5 minutes away, Chino the Handyman and Girly Girl lived across the street from us and I had the best partner in crime. A neighbor lady with kids {a little younger than ours} who lived 2 doors down who loved a good bargain, gardening and just the total randomness of life as much as I did.
The kids were ALWAYS outside digging for treasures, playing on the back patio or riding their bikes and scooters out front. There was a giant hiking trail not to far away and so in the summertime we would load up a backpack and go exploring with my neighbor and her kids.
Although my husband had known Chino the Handyman’s family for years, this was the first house we had them build for us from scratch. And I loved it. We picked out black granite tile counter tops, dark shaker cabinets, and black appliances. I remember being so excited to have one of those mini double ovens and being able to bake a single sheet without having to turn the whole oven on.
The only negative thing I remember about that neighborhood was waking up one Sunday morning to the sound of the 50+ year old man down the street {who was a total busy body, and his wife was ALWAYS in everybody’s business} running his insanely loud R/C car up and down the road at 8 am. I marched right outside in my pajamas, got about 3 inches from his face and said in a very matter of fact tone, “You know, some people are still sleeping at 8 am. My bedroom, is at the back of the house, and I can still hear your stupid little car. SO THANKS. Thanks for waking me up.” My husband was so embarrassed when I told him what I did. But you know what? After that incident, I never heard that R/C car again.
{Picking blueberries with the neighbors}
Neighbors, they can make or break a neighborhood. And that first house we built, we hit the jackpot.
Have an AWESOME Monday everyone,
~Mavis
Fun Fact: When it was time to sell the house, there was a house very similar to ours {size, price, neighborhood type} about a mile away. I happened to be driving by when I noticed an open house house in front of the home so I stopped and took a look inside. I would later learn, the house I walked though, was none other than Mrs. HB’s. 🙂 Now how’s that for a coincidence?
P.S. Have YOU ever built a home? Was it a walk in the park or was it a constant battle with your builder? We’d all love to hear about it.
More stories in this series:
- The First Apartment
- The First Mobile Home
- The First House
- The First Home in a Suburban Development
- The House with the Hardwood Floors
- The First House We Built
- The House Where This All Started
- The HOA House
Aunt G says
So far we have built one. I was the general contractor and did the insulating, finish plumbing, trim work and all the painting. It took us seven months while living in the old farm house on the same property. Gah!
You know what they say… Buy some land you like and build the house you love. Sell it. Buy some land you love and build the house of your dreams. Live there. Tee hee. Yep pretty much!
I’m looking for more land…
Brianna says
We were looking into building a house 2-3 years ago for our first home ownership. Unfortunately, none of the lots in the area we wanted were ‘buildable’ as per my father who is an Architect. I had a long list of what I wanted and was looking for since we have lived in so many rentals and temporary housing. I knew our budget too and by the time we put in a well and septic after buying the land, little would be left for the house. My father even put together a blueprint of what we wanted so he could get a rough cost estimate and bids. We cannot afford it, so we closed the book for now on building a house.
Cindi says
The house we’re in now is the first one we built — and we hope the last one we live in. It’s our retirement home and I pretty much love everything about it. We lucked out and found a fantastic builder who did a wonderful job. We were living five hours away and were only able to come up every other weekend, but we never had to worry about anything. (And I have black appliances — chose them on purpose. I’m not a very trendy person.)
Jamie says
I am amazed at how many times you have moved….. I’ve been married 17 years and we have lived in the same house the whole time!
Jennifer Jo says
You need to watch “A Man Called Ove.”
Jennifer Jo says
(RE: the telling-off-your-neighbor story.)
Mavis Butterfield says
The sub titles though…. I’ve started the movie twice now but can’t handle JUST SITTING THERE and looking at the screen.
Jennifer Jo says
Oh for crying out loud: WATCH IT.
Cathy says
We rehabbed 2 houses and built the one we live in now 29 years ago. The first house was a complete dump but we were young and had more energy than money so we rehabbed it top to bottom. then we rehabbed part of a 200 year old house then husband changed jobs and we had to move out of state. we built this house. For a couple that rarely fought we fought more about this house than anything in our married life. It broke the both of us. He Built it with a few guys himself. We will never built another house!
Sandra says
Mavis, thank you so much for this new series. I am loving it and looking forward everyday to the next chapter. We have only built one house, but it was a good one that was just right for us at that time. There were a few bumps along the way, but in the end it all worked out. The best part was being able to design it, with the help of an architect, to encompass everything we wanted in a small house and still keep within our limited budget.
Lisa says
Hi Mavis, loving the series also! We have built two, one with a builder and our current home we were our own contractor! I would not recommend it, even though it was a great learning experience. We have been in this home out in the country on 2 1/2 acres for just over 19 years! We love our home but it is just too far out now that our kids are grown and we work closer to the city. We have been working on getting the house ready for market over the past few month and will put it up for sale in the spring. It is VERY bittersweet as we have put so much work and love into this Home, but it is time to move on to something smaller (5 bedrooms & 4 bth, is a lot for two people!) We just had our last big Holiday weekend with all the family and it was great! The best part about moving is we are planning on moving very close to our son and wife who are expecting a baby late April. I keep thinking that we need to move now because the longer we stay the harder it is to move and CHANGE, it’s a good thing!!
E in Upstate NY says
My parents built a house when I was 8 years old. My dad took the experience as a major teaching moment for my brothers [older] and me. They learned how to use a transom (sp) to plot where all the trees were. That project ended with the house being moved back 8 feet so there were fewer trees to be cut.
We lived just a mile away, so every evening after supper we would drive to the house. Dad kept a note pad in the car, making comments on things he saw. The next morning he would call the contractor with his observations.
When the framing started, I was given two paper sacks. One was for all the bent nails, and the other were for the ones that were dropped. Dad would go through the bent sack, straightening those he could and adding them to the dropped bag.
When it came time for the furnace, there was a huge discussion about the correct size. Back then contractors put in large furnaces so there wouldn’t be any complaints about lack of heat. Dad thought that the recommended size was too big. He got a form from a heating association, which took in square feet, insulation, number of windows and their size, among other stats. It proved that my Dad was correct. The contractor installed the smaller furnace, but made my Dad sign a release! We never were cold, and that furnace outlasted both my parents.
When the siding was installed, the guys cut holes in the wrap to secure their standing rig. My Dad discovered that they did not close those holes when the rig was moved. Oh my, another major discussion. Dad said they didn’t care because they wouldn’t be paying the heating bills! The siding was removed and the holes were closed.
When the kitchen cabinets arrived, my Mom was excited, as this was her part of the house. She stood in front of where the sink was to go, and looked out the windows into the back yard. Oh my, she was upset! The supports for the cast iron double sink was centered in front of the windows, not centered to the work space! Another call the to contractor. Turns out, the crew just centered it, they did not look at the plans which was correct. Another fix.
Earlier, my parents looked at the ceiling light in the dining room, and the box was centered on the room. Now again, this was not to plans as there was a walking corridor through the dining room and the table would never be centered under the light. Another call to the contractor …
There are more stories, but the house was built, and the contractor never built a private building again. He went full time into corporate buildings. This was the house that love built and the house that both my parents and my middle brother died in. It was said that we had to sell it, but the rest of us lived and worked in other states.
Mavis, been greatly enjoying your stories. They have brought back many memories as you can read above and of my married moves. For a while we moved every two years, and my husband was not military. Thank you
E in Upstate NY says
Opps It was sad that we had to sell it.
Erin says
Never have and never will. My brother and his wife decided to build their dream house and started by talking to architects and contractors. They all said it could not be done with their budget (that should have been their first clue). Then they happened upon a contractor who said he could do it no problem! Well, they settled in with him and loved everything they saw, making only minor adjustments as it went along. They became friendly with him and his workers, bringing them lunch some days and baking brownies for them other days. All was well.
Then one day he walked off the job telling them they had run out of money to finish. Then they discovered he had not paid all the subcontractors. The stairs were unfinished, the bathrooms were not tiled, the floors had not yet been laid, none of the finish work was done, none of the appliances or utilities had been installed. My brother and sister-in-law spent tens of thousands of dollars and their own labor finishing it.
Turns out the builder had done this to other families and was using the money he was supposed to pay the subcontractors to pay the previous debts he had accrued. My brother sued him and got a little money out of him before he claimed bankruptcy.
Since then, their dream house has left a very sour taste in their mouths. They have decided it is actually too big and in a configuration they don’t like. The siding the builder put on has leaked as well. The basement is still unfinished and the whole house is so unusual and large that they may have a very difficult time selling it. Would they do it again? Weirdly, yes. They say they will be their own contractors this time!!!
Michele Palmer says
We have build 2 houses with different builders each time, and absolutely adored both builders. Both houses were great experiences because of these 3 things:
1) We spent considerable time choosing the right builder, and communicating exactly what we expected from him.
2) We spent considerable time contemplating the design of the house and researching the finishes we wanted (and how much they cost.)
3) We kept a monthly spreadsheet tracking exactly how much was being spent on each phase of the building process so we would know which items were coming in budget or over budget. Surprises on your building budget will not do anything good for your house or your marriage.
We were able to stay organized and in budget both times, which I think was the secret. And when I say “we”, I mean that it has to be both spouses participating the whole process. You can divide & conquer, but both have to be committed!
Signed,
Type A
haaaa
Lace Faerie says
We built our small 1,000 sq ft starter home 26 years ago. It seemed very spacious after coming out of a 700 sq ft apartment with 3 kids. By the time they were teens and the living room was wall to wall teens on the floor watching tv or playing video games, it felt really tight. We had the opportunity to move twice and I just couldn’t see leaving the house my HH built for me and my babes with his own hands, so we stayed put. Now I am glad that we did, I would have hated to have to go back to work just to afford a larger house. Full time homemaking when the kids were little was always our plan and time with my kids I wouldn’t change for love nor money!
As far as our relationship during building, it got a bit strained at times because we were so exhausted all the time. Still was less than the “problem” caused by trying to get the Christmas tree straight in the holder!! Seriously!! Funny thing is, most of our ‘arguements’ turned out we were saying the same thing just in completely different way. Venus and Mars.