Is there no such thing as a free lunch? I just got this question from one of my sweet readers, Karen. She wanted to know if something she wanted to try to save money on was a great idea, or maybe borderline unscrupulous. I’ve included the full details so you can pipe up with your opinions:
Hey, Mavis! My husband and I are both retired, and try to save every way we can. Would it be against your (or others’) principles to attend a “free dinner” at a nice restaurant and listen to the spiel about retirement savings, ya da ya da? We are totally fine with our approach to retirement and the way our funds are being managed. We would go simply for the free dinner! I realize we would probably bothered with mailings and phone calls (thank goodness for caller ID!). Let me know your thoughts, and thanks! ~Karen
So there you have it. Do you think Karen is justified in attending the free dinner even though she has no plans to buy what they’re selling, or is that inappropriate? Do you think she should be upfront at the dinner and let them know she’s not interested, or earn her dinner by being a good listener during their presentation? What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever attended one of these free diners? Did you buy anything? Do you think sitting through their spiel pays for the free meal? Let me know what you think below!
Stay frugal,
~Mavis
Jenell says
Sometimes the people putting on these dinners get credit for people just attending. I say Go or It:)
Lace Faerie says
Absolutely! As someone who used to put together these promotional events, sometimes a fanny in the seat saves the day! For financial advisors, these events are usually paid for by the mutual fund or insurance/annuity company for the advisor. If they are not well attended, they may lose out on the opportunity to do it again.
Beth Rankin says
I used to work for a financial advisor and we held dinner presentations at least every other month at popular high end restaurants. My task was to build a rapport with the people who responded to the postcard and find out what their situation was. And yes, I followed up with everyone who attended to see if they would make appointments but it was one time. We eliminated their names from our list so they didn’t get invited again. There is good information at these meetings; perhaps things people never thought before. Now- as to the ethics of it. We KNEW it was a numbers game. We expected only so many from each dinner seminar, so I’d say go, but be courteous and pay attention- you never know what you might learn.
Rebecca Briscoe says
I would rather stay home and cook then listen and keep saying no thanks!
Kim says
Agreed
Susan says
Me, too!
Chris says
These companies know some people (and I don’t think most people have the energy to do it often) are just there for the food, but they gamble on two possibilities: they hope that they might actually sway Karen and her husband to switch to their products, or that Karen and/or her husband may tell their friends about the company and they’ll get more business that way. No worse than sampling food at Costco, IMO.
Gina says
Ditto
Pam says
Agree go for it guilt-free
M. says
I’m in this camp. Enjoy the dinner.
Kat says
exactly!
technically, just by showing up and being present at their presentation, you are fulfilling your half of the agreement. despite knowing you likely will not change their mind, that’s what they’re attempting to do. if they have some great offers and you *do* change your mind, great. if not, they tried, and you have no obligation to purchase their services- only to listen to their offer.
enjoy your free dinner(s)…. bon appétit!
ilovecouponing! says
I disagree. A lot of these are small business owners and thy don’t have a ton of extra money to burn. If you’re not interested you shouldn’t attend. No brainer. They are trying to explain their business to interested parties. Do you think they would really want people to come that are not at all open to what they are presenting? I feel it is going way to far and is too cheap.
Tejas Prairie Hen says
Many years ago, as a poor young couple, we did exactly that. The invitation (and all similar invitations over a 40 yr. span) clearly stated that there was no obligation to buy anything. Therefore, it is not against “the rules” to attend such a dinner unless the invitation states that is for only those with a serious interest in the product. We have never considered attending another similar dinner with strangers and a topic we have no interest in. It just wasn’t our idea of fun. If a person genuinely has no food, there are often local pantries run by charities where they could receive food without judgement.
Bonita says
If she and her husband attend, they will likely be badgered for contact information for five or so of their friends who might be interested. A handful of new leads would be well worth the cost of a couple dinners for the sponsor of the event. I would not want to go and listen to a spiel for something I wasn’t interested in, and then have to fend off attempts to get my friends’ contact information out of me. I don’t think I would enjoy the dinner much under those circumstances. Karen and her husband might though, and I’m sure the invitation says they are under no obligation, so sure, why not go and get a free meal.
Helen says
I don’t think it’s morally wrong. They may be swayed by the information they receive during the event, however in my opinion I wouldn’t waste my time and I’d rather spend an evening at a food kitchen and do something productive with my time helping others. It’s set of like taking extra condiments to bring home from a fast food restaurant, you take it just because it’s there not necessarily because you need it.
debbie in alaska says
If they are willing to go and listen to the presentation, then I see nothing wrong with going for the free dinner. You never know, they could actually learn something or maybe something they hear will make sense for someone else and they might share that info at a dinner party later. Just because they don’t plan to buy into the product being sold doesn’t mean that they are considered a wasted effort on the part of the presenter. Word of mouth is a very effective sales strategy I imagine. Just my $.02
Robin says
I was thinking the same thing. There might be information that could be useful, even if they are comfortable in the retirement plan they have. I see nothing wrong with going for the free meal.
Molly Jo says
totally agree!
Pat says
We had retired friends who went to every presentation for time shares to get free 3 day trips. Personally we think it is wrong and would never go to a presentation for something we knew we would never buy. I don’t know how anyone can look the presenter in the eye basically lying to them regarding why you are there. And having been in the hospitality business I know the meal would be the least expensive senior form of chicken the restaurant has. You can have the same dinner at home for very little cost.
Gina says
Usually these dinners are at very high end restaurants in my area
Deanna says
I would rather go to the local Senior Center for lunch Here we pay $1.50 each and it is a good lunch Meet people with similar views on life they have activities you might enjoy
MaryW says
No meal is worth that pain.
Heather says
Do it! We went to a timeshare presentation for free scuba diving with no intention to buy anything. We learned that the freebie wasn’t worth the uncomfortable situation that we had to sit through. We would never do another one, but if you need a free dinner out than you should go for it!
Jeanie says
It wouldn’t be worth the hassle of never ending marketing for me. I wouldn’t be interested in what they were selling, wouldn’t want to give them any friends names and wouldn’t want to say I’d wasted a couple hours of my life for a free steak. It sounds so depressing.
Cindi says
Let me put it another way.
Would you go out on a date with someone, who you knew was going to buy you dinner and then expect sex afterwards?
Sex for a cheeseburger?
What does that make you?
Would you go out on a date where you knew the guy was going to buy you dinner, expected sex but you were either going to conveniently get a headache or your girlfriend was going to call you, pretending to be your sister, telling you you had to get home NOW because your mother fell ill?
No sex for a cheeseburger?
What does that make you?
I think if you can answer these questions correctly, then that also should answer your question about going to a lecture, where you knowingly know you are going to be hounded to so something you don’t want to do, all for a chopped steak or grilled chicken breast?
gina says
THIS!
Rozy says
If a guy asks a girl out just to get sex with her what does that make HIM? Geez, a first date is informational only.
celina says
They want the chance to convince you to switch. Even if you were to ask..they’d want the chance. However they will want names of other contacts.
Mary Elizabeth Tait says
Perhaps having to ask the question is the answer….if they felt at ease with attending the dinner without the interest in the talk or product then they wouldn’t ask for feedback
Honesty and integrity are more important than a “free” meal, so I would decline.
Gina says
I also believe that you’re not actually getting a free meal. They are paying for your time to sit in front of them. That to the marketer is the price For paying for your attention. And a chance to sell to you. That is why they usually choose very upscale restaurants it is to lure you into sitting through a presentation. Your time is money. even trade.
Rosaleen says
Probably this is not for me, but I’d look at the dinner as payment for my time sitting through the presentation. You can count on continuing marketing contacts. Mentioning caller ID tells me you have a strategy for dealing with it. Do what works for you.
Emily B. says
You probably won’t be know until you experience it first hand. If you were to go, I’d be honest about your reason for being there. For me personally, it would SO not be worth it.
Linda says
The people putting on the free dinner are doing it as their job. They get paid based on the people who buy what they are selling. I don’t think it’s right.
Jfred says
Eh. It’s not something I would choose to do, because I don’t want to spend my time with someone trying to sell me something….I have a huge aversion to that sort of thing. That said, I don’t see anything wrong with it. You just have to be willing to listen, and then say no.
We recently stayed w family in their timeshare, and they went to an owner’s mtg so they could get enough points for a free day or two off their time at the condo. They told us we could attend a mtg and get a $100 visa card. Other family members had, and got the card. But dh and I didn’t want to spend time on our long weekend away being hounded. We just wanted to relax. $100 would have been wonderful at that time….and well used….but the hassle wasn’t worth it to us.
Mary Ann says
As a business owner, my opinion is it’s wrong.
My advertising dollars need to be well spent. It can’t be cheap to feed people a free high-end meal. Therefore, unless you MIGHT be interested in what the company is selling, don’t waste their advertising dollars.
Not cool.
LaineC says
I did this once and attended a timeshare seminar for a free pair of plane tickets and 3 nights in a hotel from the east to west coast. For 2 hours of our time, we were able to fly across the country to see our family, something we weren’t able to afford on our own. Well worth it!
Annette says
I think it is perfectly okay. These people get to claim this 100%on taxes as a business expense so they don’t lose either
April says
Being able to claim an expense doesn’t make it free money. It just means you don’t pay taxes on a portion, or a whole. So, depending on your bracket that is either a savings of 10-33%, nit free.
LILLI says
I enjoy trying no obligation offers. Often the bonuses are enjoyable and useful. I am not one to cave to pressure as I am the first to realize I have to stay in my budget. I sometimes find that I may actually even want\need the product. I often learn things that I find valuable to my life. I recently signed up for a free 30 day trial of a clothes rental service on swagbucks. We received three dresses for my daughter to wear. She wore one to her brothers high school grasduation. I loved the novelty of this service but the monthly fee was just to high to keep it. In addition, the clothes were poorly made of polyester material. The clothing reminded me of old pantsuits my grandma use to wear. I cancelled the free trial. I received a 50.00 gift card for trying this service. I just bought 50.00 worth of goods at Amazon. Companies have promotions all the time. I say enjoy the dinner and listen away.
Cindi says
I think it’s absolutely fine to do this. The people putting on these presentations know that not everyone is going to bite. And, as others have said, you might learn something you didn’t know.
Cheri says
I think it’s unscrupulous and tacky. It’s basically a kind of deceit and shows a lack of integrity. Whether or not the company loses money or cares is irrelevant.
Brianna says
Go for it and hold your head high, there is nothing to be ashamed of. This is no different in my mind than college or job recruiting fairs that send you home with a free product just because you walked by their booth. I get ‘invites’ to such dinners on occasion and I see it as a way to get a good meal served to me and without the dishes. The last one I attended I even won a door prize. It also is a nice way to meet other people and socialize, even if only for a night. These presenters get paid good money and bonuses for their recruitment efforts and you saying ‘no’ to purchasing a product is ok because you said ‘yes’ to a sales pitch. They are professionals and can usually read their audience members. They aren’t personally paying for the dinner either, usually it is sponsored or part of their corporate expenses. Please provide them with valid information if asked to do so, they aren’t idiots and will remember you next time if you give them false information. Jack and Jill can only attend so many times under false pretenses. I’m sure you won’t be the only couple their not genuinely interested in the product. Just don’t be rude during the presentation and be courteous. A few years ago my hubby would always get a call from a certain presenter to ‘fill spots’ because they have to prepay for meals and may only get 50 people to show up for 100 meals, we really enjoyed the free date and always filled out the feedback cards. We also learned something new each time, so it wasn’t deaf ears.
gina says
I mean, if a couple is really that hard up, I guess it could be an idea but for me, NO WAY. All the calls you will get FOREVER and a day from it and just the long, boring night for a piece of chicken and a salad, NO THANKS! Totally not worth it.
Belinda says
Knowing me I would probably just stay home rather than go out and make the effort, but I don’t think it’s wrong to go enjoy the free dinner. I would listen attentively and enjoy my free meal. 🙂
Cheryl says
I’d say the response so far is about 50/50. Myself, I don’t see anything wrong with it. I may have no intention of buying anything at the time, but that doesn’t mean down the road that won’t change and word of mouth is free advertising should something similar come up in conversation later. My mother and her friend do this all the time, they meet same age folks and basically network with each other. Is this something I would do? Probably not, but it has more to do with availability as I am usually at work.
Peggy says
I think the dinner isn’t going to be all that great, and why would you want to set yourself up for the hassle Karen? Just don’t do it. 🙂 Instead, pack up a picnic basket and get some plants from your local nursery and plant yourself a garden and have the picnic lunch afterwards. You’ll be rewarded with all sorts of free food and it will be quite enjoyable! 🙂
Gardenpat says
If I already know that I am not interested in what they are selling, then, even if the seller has this as a “free, no-obligation” dinner, I am selling off part of my integrity for the price of a dinner, IMO.
There is a difference between being frugal and being miserly and greedy. For me, it’s the difference between the letter of the law (free dinner) versus the spirit of the law (am I being honest in my dealings?). Don’t get me wrong- I love a great deal!!! This just crosses a line for me.
Wyoming Gal says
I have gone to 2 of these dinners – about 10 years apart in different communities. It was at a time that my husband was out of town and I was kind of curious. In both cases the meal was pretty nice and I listened to the spiel about retirement planning. Both of them were selling very specialized annuity products. I was partly interested because my current workplace 403(b) has some annuity options and I wanted to learn more. I learned that these products were somewhat different than what is available to me. Neither company pestered me after I said I didn’t want an appointment. The spiel was pretty basic and covered a lot of information that I already knew about how these financial instruments work. The most interesting part was the wide range of behaviors of the other people who attended – including some pretty bizarre comments and arguing with the presenter. I wouldn’t go again, but I was quite truthful when I RSVP’d and I don’t think it was dishonest in any way.
Rebekah U says
Chances are, if you go for the dinner, you will end up being persuaded to sign up for whatever they are selling. These people are professional marketers, and they have your number. Same concept as going for a “free vacation” for a timeshare presentation – BAD IDEA. Very high pressure sales tactics. Master manipulators. If you want to go out to dinner, use some of your splurge dollars, go out, have fun, and enjoy it! Your dinner will taste so much better with no strings attached. 🙂
Maria says
Heck, yeah, go for it!
I mean, my opinion might have something to do with the fact that I’m nearly deaf and I won’t have any idea what anyone is saying, but I would go and enjoy my meal. 😉
I once let a vacuum cleaner salesperson in my house for the promise of a free set of knives and I’m still – almost twenty years later – upset that they didn’t actually follow through. But a meal….they can’t take that one back. 😀
Karin says
I don’t think it’s unscrupulous if you are meeting the stated requirements. If the only requirement is that you come and listen to their sales pitch, then why not? You might even change your mind about being interested in their investments…I’m sure that’s what they hope for when they give the sales pitch. No-one goes into one of these things already sold on it, that’s why they have skilled sales people and free stuff, just to get you in the door to listen to the pitch. That said, I don’t think it’s worth a free meal but that’s up to you to decide.
Toni says
The company offers the dinner with no obligation to the guests. I would definitely go if I thought I could sit still long enough to hear the presentation. I might even learn something. If this kind of marketing was not effective for the company, they would not keep doing it.
Note to Cindi – is a cheeseburger all you get on a dinner date? No wonder you don’t want to go.
Mary P says
If the free meal is offered in exchange for listening to the presentation then that’s the deal. Karen doesn’t have to have any intention of buying the product; by listening she has upheld her end of the bargain.
ande says
I can’t imagine being “fine with my approach to retirement and how our funds are being managed,” while being desperate enough to fight through feelings of guilt over being disingenuous. Maybe they should go to the dinner for the possibility of gaining some sound financial advice.
Theresa Faria says
I went with a friend to a flipping houses meeting, need no money they say. I did not see the no money needed idea. Then my friend took it for 2,000. then a special weekend, it was heading towards 40,ooo. Glad I did not have money at that time. Meal was a sandwich from the hotel.
I think any good saleman believes if they can get you in they have you. They might even change your mind, or give you info you do not have already.
I think this a promotion type that both the sales team and attendee understands the offer. No judgement here on either side.
Vanessa Strawder says
Seems to me if they are willing to sit and listen to the “information”, it would be perfectly ethical and morally sound to do so and enjoy the free meal. There is always the slight chance that, no matter how established that you would feel to be in your retirement plans, you may hear something that would make you think differently. If there are no prerequisites for attending the dinner, then I say, “enjoy”.
Cass says
If you can stay strong and say “no” to a product you don’t want/need OR realize that you DO want the product and act on the information then GO FOR IT.
The LW says that she is fine with how her retirement money is being managed but is looking for a free meal. Perhaps she needs the product being sold more than she wants to admit to herself.
Tammy says
I don’t see anything wrong with it! But I wouldn’t do it myself because I hate listening to marketing spiels and would never sign myself up for one, free meal or not! Also, I don’t think it’s a good idea to put yourself in a vulnerable spot making it a little more likely to spend money or divert funds that you weren’t planning on. Something “free” and a convincing salesperson has convinced many a person to do something they weren’t planning on!
Cindy M. says
No harm, no foul…it’s the companies “risk” to put something out there for free….as previously stated, no different than Costco samples, etc…
Practical Parsimony says
I have been to three of these. The meals were great. I took a friend, and we learned lots. The one item I knew was not real, was real. We were never pressured as the only people they contacted were the people who filled out a card and said they wanted a call. Think of a card in the mail as a coupon in a store. If it is offered and you want it and the company is willing to give it to you, what is the problem? We did not feel like we were being deceitful. Nor, did the guys doing the program. They thanked us personally for coming as we left. A free meal that is offered is a free meal, not a selling of your morals.
April says
I’m going to take a different opinion on here as most of y’all. My father and sister are in the financial services industry. Most reps work for themselves under an umbrella company. They are responsible for their own advertising expenses and these dinners would fall in that category. Using the Golden Rule, how would you feel if you shelled out your own money to build your business, and people just showed up to take advantage of you. It might not be illegal or grossly immoral, but it is taking advantage of someone, if you aren’t even going to listen. If you go, you should at least listen to give them the chance to share their opportunity. If you hear it and it isn’t for you, then no harm no foul. But to go and not listen, or to make it a regular practice to just get free meals is mean to the people out their trying to do better for their families, by building their business.
Sharon says
A long, long time ago, I used to sell life insurance, and put on some of these promotions to attract potential clients. The rule of thumb was you were successful if you got a hundred attendees, got ten qualified leads, and made two sales. Based on that, the promoter doesn’t really expect to sell everyone that shows up. On top of that, the restaurants usually charge the promoter a reduced price for the meal because they often hope to get repeat (full price) diners as a result of that meal. It’s called the cost of doing business. Go, listen to what the presenter has to say, and enjoy your meal!
Mavis Butterfield says
Very interesting! Thanks for chiming in Sharon.
Christina says
I don’t think it’s morally wrong. I don’t think I would enjoy listening to a pitch even for a free meal but if you enjoy it more power to you.
Farmer Phyl says
Last night we had Asian stir fry with peanut sauce. Everything except 1/3 cup peanut butter was free. The rice was left over from teriyaki take out, the packaged peanuts were included with sundaes from McDonalds, the veggies were from my garden. And I didn’t have to waste my time listening to a sales pitch. Look for other ways to save money on food.
Tami Lewis says
Go! Enjoy! Like Sharon said…that is expected and counted on. Cindi is full of it and isn’t part of “our crowd”…frugal dinners don’t equal sex!
Cheri says
However awkward or poor the analogy, I believe Cindi was making a point about integrity, something we all need more of these days. She was not speaking out against frugality, so I’m pretty sure she belongs here if she wants to be here, since this isn’t a middle-school clique.
rachel says
I think if you go, (and you should!) you’re hearing information that if it doesn’t apply to you, may apply to somebody else in your social circle and now you have a contact for them. If you think the people presenting are decent people to do business with, you can always refer your friends to them. It’s the cost of doing business in today’s world – it’s not morally wrong. You aren’t thinking of setting the place on fire or slashing their car tires if you don’t like the meal. Geez.
Linda Sand says
We went to a one-on-one presentation on our way to our vacation camping spot. The presentation was for a campground membership. We went because I wanted the freebies they were offering. We waited an hour for the presenter to show up. When he finally did we told him we’d already given him our time so we wanted our compensation. He balked at first then realized he did indeed owe us since we showed up but he didn’t. (He thought we wouldn’t come because it was raining.) We used those casserole dishes for many years. We showed up; his failure to show was not our fault. I guess, my point is that as long as you actually listen to the presentation you have fulfilled your half of the bargain.
Cindy says
I don’t see any ethical problem with going to the dinner. Most of those offers specifically state that there is no obligation. However, one of the reasons we like to go out is to enjoy a good meal while relaxing and talking and maybe taking a little extra time over the meal than normal. Having to listen to a sales pitch would destroy one of my main reasons for going out. I wouldn’t do it myself, but I see no reason they shouldn’t take advantage of it if they want to.
Marissa says
I work for a consumer protection agency and my job is developing and delivering education programs around fraud prevention. I would like to strongly encourage you not to use this as a money saving tactic.
Many people underestimate the sales abilities of some of these presenters, and especially unscrupulous ones will be very good at pushing emotional hot buttons to get you on their side. Often scam artists use these types of events to pitch fraudulent or unsuitable investment, insurance or real estate products. Combine this with the fact that everyone becomes less adept at recognizing risk, dishonest advertising, and when they are being pitched a scam as you get older, and it can be a real danger to your financial well being. I watched a video of a training session for some of these fraudulent sales people where they were being told to do and say whatever they could to scare seniors into buying their product (it was disgusting!)
Spend smart in the grocery store then make a fun evening of cooking together instead! :). You’ll be better off in the long run!
Sherri says
We often go to the time share presentations with the intention of not buying. They know this. We were told that 80 percent of the people that attend never buy. We even get asked by one if they need to go through the whole presentation since we had never bought from them in the past. They have no problem with hearing no. What I do not like about the presentations is they say that it will only take an hour, two the most. They average a half a day. So if you are given an extra free day just to hear their presentation, do not do it. We fell for this last time and was really upset with the length of time that they took. Plus the way that Cancoon treats woman? Just because I do not work, doesn’t mean I have no say in how things are spent. I save thousands each year by not working than working. I am that good!!!