Old habits die hard!
As you all know Ms Mavis is not shopping with me this week. Its a no Costco week so that’s good but I been dabbling in old ways. But I have to tell you what happened that has led to this dabble. As I have mentioned, I have become a bit obsessive in checking my online credit cards and paying off immediately any charges that I had to place on them. This week it was a payment for the kids school for which I promptly paid off.
I think it was a Saturday that I did this. Well come Monday I decided to see if I was clear on that card so I went in and nothing had been paid. There have been a time or two that I had failed to hit submit so I thought that was the case here. I immediately submitted another payment.
Several hours later, again, I get a call from HB Hubby. “What is going on? You have a payment to Visa for the same charge twice? You have GOT to learn how to do your electronic banking.” UGH! and LOL now I have another credit on my Visa card. I just can’t call them AGAIN to send another check. So I decided to just keep credit on card and use it like cash…..
Here is where my problem begins..
I swear it’s a sickness, just plain mental block or plain stupidity but when using a credit card it doesn’t feel like I am using real money. And there is a “high” associated with it. I am bearing my soul here people because I know there must be others with this affliction. To my credit, and yes it’s an excuse, this wouldn’t have happened had I not made that double payment ” forcing ” me to have to use the dreaded thing. But here I am and I am using it and this is what I did…..
I ate out at one of my old jaunts for lunch, bought a Starbucks coffee and several Diet cokes. Went to Home Depot and bought three sets of daffodils (trying to bring in Spring) I also pre planned materials for chicken pen 🙂 and wait for it , not only went to Marshalls but TJ maxx, all during this week.
Now to my defense I didn’t buy most of what I wanted and even reached out to Ms Mavis for input on a dutch oven that was on clearance for $69. I didn’t buy that per the tone of her disgust that I was even in that store.
She also said nothing is ever a “deal.” But I did by a basket, I had one for gardening and loved it but my last one got severely molded. I thought I would never find another like it so what would you have done? I bought a sifter, ours had broken months ago and HB boy loves to bake and has been asking for one. A garlic press, Mavis has been telling me I needed one and this one even slices! And my true ” luxury” item a candle.
At TJ’s I bought a beautiful Anne Klein purse on clearance for $32 and like I said last week I needed one. My strap finally broke. I am very hard on my purses carrying around a computer and Ipad on most days plus other work stuff. And finally, got HB boys hair cut all with my Visa. Next week I vow not to step into any of my old haunts, I promise!!
I am excited about my Fred Meyer trip. Since Ms Mavis and I couldn’t shop together this week, I went to another FM store on way home from work. I got my FM freebie and used my FM ecoupons. Yay! I was so proud …… I had ketchup on my list and noticed with a Heinz purchase (that’s the only brand I will use for ketchup) I got a FREE Heinz mustard? Awesome! It was a little frustrating not knowing where the day old bread, fruits and veggies were that I normally , now, pick up for a dollar or so. I had to ask three different people and when I did find the bins here is what I found ,,,, nada! I like going early in the morning before anyone else gets there for sure . Much better sale stuff.
I forgot to take the picture though when I got home. It had been sitting in car a while and after picking up kids had to rush home and take it all in before rushing out the door to get HB boy to baseball practice. Literality a 5 minute turn around time and I had to spend some of that time going to bathroom, LOL. So when we got home all I could think about was getting the perishables in the frig.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention I only spent $59.29 . This week is a no bake week, I am going to use the surplus in the freezer. I will miss cooking with Ms Mavis today though!!!!
Another expense that I had this week was tree removal for some dead trees and since that had to be done, got some removed for our chicken pen expansion we plan to do over Spring break. It was great that I had saved up enough to do this. Plus got a referral friend of mine, this wonderful local couple is licensed, bonded ect to remove the trees.
They also trimmed a couple of maples and even did my apple tree for free. And for an unexpected day of fun they helped me with moving the girls up to the garden area for safe keeping. It was fun and amazing to watch! I have to give them a shout out and would highly recommend them if you need any trees removed, Western Tree Solutions. Megan and Brett can answer all your questions as well at 253-509-0695. 🙂
So now I will end on a bit of Spring… Ms Mavis wouldn’t even get out of the car for this, which I found strange since she is the one that got me out to pick up tin cans on the side of the road several years back, I think she was trying to get to Paris on those cans! Anyway there is this bush on side of the road and it is not on anyone’s property! (I think) {Note from Mavis: it was on someone’s property} I don’t know what it is called but it blooms beautiful yellow flowers.
I know it’s not Scotch Broom!!!!! I had my pruners in car just for this task, parked car safely on side of road, cut a branch (when I cut them they only had buds) and got back in, Took all of 5 minutes. Look how beautiful they are now and all for free. Spring is just around the corner so looking forward to Monday!
Happy Spring!
Mrs. Hillbilly
Earlene says
Mrs.HB, you and I must be friends in another life, I love going in to TJMaxx, I hardly ever buy anything because I’m trying to get rid of stuff!! But I have bought new hand towels last week that are bright turquoise blue!! Just 2 and a new bath mat! I drive 90 miles to visit that store, so when I go that far, I try to make it count and check out everything, but hardly buy anything! I don’t know about your store, but this one is so clean and beautifully staged!! Good luck!!
Anita says
I believe that is a forsythia Mrs. HB. We used to grow them when we were growing up. They bloom early in the spring.
Anita
Jenny Young says
Yes it’s forsythia. I have some growing my yard. They’re great to pick branches in late winter just as they’re budding. It forces the blooms & the flowers last longer in your centerpiece.
Becky-TN says
Yep, that’s forsythia. It’s blooming all over here in East TN.
Jennifer says
Mrs. HB,
A idea I had while reading about your week is two fold. First you need to figure out what you have on hand. A purse breaks…take it to a cobbler 9x out of 10 they should be able to fix it for you for not much money and/or use another bag you have on hand. No need to buy a new bag even if it is one of the reusable grocery bags till the cobbler can fix your purse.
The other concept you need to think about is…how long do you need to work to buy something. Calculate your per minute salary. And start thinking about how long you need to work to buy something you don’t need.
I also think a spend freeze might be a good idea. Use all of the random foods you have in your house, I think some simplification to your life might be worth the effort.
My attitude is I want pure freedom and rather use what I have and make due than try to work longer or harder.
Deborah says
Mrs. HB, if the Forsythia was between the road and the property line, it is county or state property. If it was inside the property line, it was on someone’s property. That’s the way it works here in East TX. It is beautiful.
Tracey says
Maybe you could write off your purses as a work expense on your taxes is you save the receipts. My employer provides a crossbody tablet bag and if it breaks I just call and they send me a new one.
Mary Elizabeth Tait says
What an honest and refreshing look at your week! You will be successful in your spending because you are thinking about it.
The purse was probably a good purchase even though a bit impulsive….purses get hard use everyday and I think it is difficult to find one that meets my needs….a good handbag is an investment and you scored at $32!!
Tamara says
I am a little surprised as a Southerner you did not recognize forsythia, aka yellow bell, but seeing as how you now live in the PNW you are forgiven. It may root in your vase; if so, a free plant! In full sun they will grow to a huge size but almost nothing can kill them. A true harbinger of Spring!
Flea markets and yard sales may yield a reasonably priced cast iron dutch oven; we have found several this way. If rusty, there are numerous YouTube videos that tell how to clean them. My favorite is the 60% vinegar/40% water soak overnight method. Scrub, then season with LIGHT coats of olive oil.
I suspect you went to your old haunts because you have not found new haunts/habits to replace them. And when you have “extra” money you are unsure what to do. (You COULD have just left the extra payment alone until next month. No harm done.). All in all, you are doing quite well, and when Sheriff Butterfield is back in Dodge you may feel stronger. 🙂
Heather says
If you leave the Forsythia in the water after it stops blooming, it will get roots and you can plant your own little tree outside. I have a friend who had Forsythia years ago and she did this for me. My bushes are now 14 years old and are huge…all from a few little stems.
Mrs HB says
Oh my thank you I will do this for sure !!!!!
Pat says
You’re doing great however, if you pay for tuition every month then you should have just paid a month ahead. Your lucky your husband checks the online banking. Mine thinks the money is made to order!
Andrea D says
As others have said, that looks like Forsythia. I doubt the landowners will mind a few branches missing- we have a few on our property and it grows like a weed. It is very pretty. I’d let you have some clippings from mine anytime, but you’d have to come to the East Coast to cut it.
Diane says
Mrs. HB, thank you for your honesty about your spending habits – and they ARE habits, deeply ingrained. If they aren’t an addiction, they’re mighty close. I can say that because I have had the same problem for years, and felt the same “high” when I went and bought stuff I KNEW I didn’t need and couldn’t afford. I’m finally doing better with my compulsive spending – but I hate to tell you that I think it’s because I’m aging and on what is more or less a fixed income. My husband is semi-retired, and I haven’t worked for anyone else for 17 years. I’m looking at our needs for housing (and home maintenance), food, other true necessities, and possibly CARE as we get older, and I realize that I can’t afford to spend in as carefree a way as I have in the past. I just can’t, if I don’t want to end up living under a bridge.
I think another thing that’s helped me rein in my buying STUFF is having to deal with my mother’s belongings both when I moved her 600 miles from her home to my city, and after she died. Mom was a hoarder, and it was a nightmare cleaning out her belongings and deciding where everything should go. I made up my mind that I was never going to put my kids, or anyone I love, through that. That decision makes it easier to get rid of stuff, and not buy it in the first place.
So maybe you can help discipline yourself and form new habits by thinking, “Hey, what if something happened to me tomorrow – what kind of burdens would I leave on my family?” Or, “How do I want to be remembered by the people whom I care about?” There are also tricks you can use, of course, like getting rid of one item you already have every time you buy another item.
Because we live in a consumer/marketing culture, it’s SO easy to get seduced into thinking your life will be better with just that ONE OTHER thing. But there’s always one MORE thing you think you need. Ask yourself what else is missing from your life that you are trying to get from buying stuff you don’t really have to have. Sometimes it’s just boredom for me, but mostly it’s a stress response, or even loneliness. Find another way to fill that hole.
I know this is highly personal for you, and I don’t mean to intrude – it’s just that your description of your spending really rang a bell with me. Hang in there – relating your challenges is half the battle.
Mrs HB says
Diane I appreciate your candor . Thank you and will take all of it to heart. 🙂
Emily E. says
Diane, I totally identify with your views on asking yourself what would your kids/family be left to deal with if you weren’t there. My Mom likes to keep a lot of things, multiples of things thinking she’ll use them, but there are plenty of things that will never get used. Once I started thinking about what would my family be left with, most of the barriers to getting rid of things just evaporated and I started a focused purging/organizing. It’s not instantaneous and is a work in progress but I make headway every week and plan to be done by summer. It’s very satisfying to be free of stuff. Even more so if you find someone who is happy to have it!
Lynne says
Careful with the trespassing! In my state you could go to jail for removing a living item from a state park. Also our property lines go to the curb so I own my sidewalk AND the tree lawn between it & the street. Every state is different. And you are too honest & adorable to go to jail.
Carole says
Mrs. HB don’t beat yourself up. Its a process. My daughter said to me once, Mom, its 80/20. 80% of the time you are good. 20% of the time you wander off the road. Its normal. I’m happy with that. Now of course when I’m “off the road” I really try to make sure this is something I really want and will use. I think you’re getting there.
Laura Z says
We call forsythia “yellowbell” bushes here in NC. 🙂 Breaking those shopping habits are really hard, especially when shopping is something that we have been taught to use as a leisure activity. Try not to be TOO hard on yourself. Would you have even felt guilty about any of this shopping a few months ago? Keep up the good work!
Katrina says
When the Forsythia starts blooming here in southern Idaho spring is on its way and you can start pruning back the roses. Sure sign of spring.
Brianna says
There is a fine line between compulsive and impulsive spending, luckily for you you fit the later. You feel satisfaction and emotion from your purchase, a buyers ‘high.’ You need to figure out what your ‘triggers’ are that lead to such a purchase before you can understand how to curb such behavior. Perhaps it was having an overpayment on your credit card and it could have made you feel you were ahead for the month and gave yourself permission to spend the excess. Your trigger could have been you needing a new handbag, but that need led to another spur of the moment purchase (candle). It could even be the simple please and refreshing taste you feel in your mouth with a Diet Coke and an immediate need to suppress that craving. Try to figure it out and it can help you control the urges. Maybe write yourself a routine list and keep it in the car if your visual, put basic stuff like drive on free way, take exit 200, go park at TJ Max parking lot, go potty straight in back of store, do not engage with items in store, walk out of store, return to car, get caught up on emails for 30 minutes, head home. Writing a specific game plan that you won’t be complacent to will keep your mind focused on the task….potty break and traffic congestion break. If the random coffee shop isn’t on the list, it shouldn’t be a stop and mentally you will know that and it will make you think when you pull up to the coffee shop. Next time you over pay your credit card, let the balance sit on it and put a sticky note on it of upcoming items you will need to buy (sports fees, cleats, team snack, etc) attached to your card in your wallet. When you grab your card you can see what the money is earmarked for and will be less inclined to spend it on another purchase. Just a few suggestions for thought.
Mel says
I don’t know if this will help, but one thing that’s helped me is to make sure that I replace items strategically instead of automatically. For instance, my alarm clock broke, and I started to order another automatically, but then I realized that I can just use my phone alarm. My work bag is about to break, but I’ve used it daily for more than 10 years. When I do replace it, I will make sure to buy another one like it–one that is built to hold a laptop and take another 10 years of abuse rather than a regular purse that will break far sooner. I had a sifter, but I never liked it, and I thought about getting a new one. Then the food section of nearby paper did an article about getting rid of kitchen items that aren’t needed. They said flour sifters are almost always unnecessary–if you measure properly and whisk dry ingredients well, you can skip sifting. I have been doing that ever since, and it’s worked perfectly, so I realized I don’t need a new sifter.
Athena says
Oh I find this to not be true at all re: replacing sifting with whisking. I think it’s because I’ve moved to a much more humid climate though and EVERYTHING CLUMPS! Whisking does nothing to stop the clumps that have formed in my flour. I never ever had that problem when we lived in a drier climate. Even my spices all clump together after a few weeks of being opened, whereas in the past I’d have things opened for years (yes I know you should replace spices sooner than that) and they would never, ever clump. I almost always find myself reaching for a sifter or else having to be happy with clumps of unmixed flour in my baked goods.
Mel says
Hmm. That’s odd. We live in a fairly humid area (not tropical, but southern U.S. and almost entirely water-locked geographically), and I’m still able to just whisk. I do store all dry goods in airtight canisters, and I decant spices into matching airtight jars that fit in our spice rack, so that may be part of it. I also bake quite often, so ingredients aren’t sitting for too long.
Practical Parsimony says
Woman, you need an intervention!
Here is the South, that is called forsythia or yellow bell. I go out and break off branches after a rain and just jam about ten of the branches in the ground. Six or more should take root. You don’t have to dig, lop, or mulch. Just snap it off and jam it in the wet ground. Easy peasy. I have several bushes I made from the one I purchased.
A cobbler/shoe shop can fix the bag. Then, you have a spare since you purchased one already.
Mrs Hb says
My intervention is called Mavis Butterfield !
Colleen says
Hello Mrs. HB, it was mentioned last week but I will reiterate it here. I think you need a budget for guilt-free spending. Normal people (not heroes like Mavis) buy purses from time to time and that’s OK. It is all about controlling the amount of money that goes into such purchases. Maybe 50 dollars a month would work for you, maybe 100. In cash of course. But when the money is gone, it is gone and one waits until the next month to buy anything else.
Katrina says
I second that! Dave Ramsey calls that category Blow money. Having EVERYTHING in cash helps, too (an envelope system essentially). There are studies that say that the pain centers of the brain light up when using cash versus a card. Check out Dave Ramsey. He really has a great program to teach and motivate you.
Melissa M. says
I feel your pain on a credit card credit! I will have a credit on mine in the next few days and I’m already planning the ways I can spend it! Lol
Carrie says
Since daylight savings time has hit and spring has sprung, why not find a park (with a bathroom) to make your stops at. You can take a walk and get some fresh air while the traffic dies down. 🙂
Helen in Meridian says
Mrs. HB. i was at Costco today and they have really large forsythia bushes for $17.99. Go straight to the garden center and buy one and try to get out with just eating all the free snackk bites they had today. The new coupon book starts Thursday.
Danielle says
The good thing about a trip to TJMaxx is that if you get home and regret it…. You can return it!!! (Not so with the Diet Cokes!)
Thanks for the candor, love reading your posts. A lot less scary than having someone watch my spending/saving habits, that’s for sure!
Mrs HB says
lol thanks ! trying to always put a little humor in a serious situation . I think most of us have a tendency . I know I have issues but without trying to make them so omiimious I like trying to shed a little light and maybe help someone along the way . We all have issues right? I like the fact that we can share that we are not alone and maybe take a tidbit or two that can help move us in a positive direction. Thanks for all your support !