How To Be A Good Houseguest – I don’t know about you, but when people open their homes to me, I try really hard to leave a small imprint. I want to be the kind of guest that people would love to have back.
Being a houseguest is a pretty easy thing to do if you can remember one simple thing: Be on your best behavior! Seriously. It’s that simple.
Be the guest you’d hope to have in your own home. {Which for some people is a little harder said than done. If you know what I mean.} 😉
Here are my top 10 tips on being a great houseguest:
Bring a gift.
It doesn’t have to be big or expensive, but it should be a thoughtful token of your gratitude. It’s just a simple way to say, “Hey, thanks for letting me sleep in your sheets.” Think local–something your guest couldn’t easily get ahold of. Flowers always seem to be a winner too.
Keep clean.
Your guest should hardly know you are there. Keep your stuff confined to the space your host provides. That means, don’t leave shoes, purses, etc. in the front entry way. Slip them off and carry them to your room. Your host should not have to look at your clutter…ever.
Offer to pitch in.
If your host provides a meal, help with dishes, wipe the counters…whatever you can do to be more help than work.
Don’t complain.
This probably seems like a no-brainer, but if you are sleeping on an old pull-out bed, remember, it’s free. No complaints about crappy sleep. You are in their space, and they get to offer whatever they are willing/able and no more.
Special diets aren’t your host’s problem. Be gracious and blend in with the culture of the house without complaining. Enough said.
Be clear about your plans.
Let your host know exactly how long you will be staying, what time you will be arriving, etc. Let them know all of the activities you have planned, so they know when you will be out of the house.
Don’t bring pets, kids, etc. unless you have already cleared it with your host.
Along the same lines, don’t invite other friends over to the house you’re staying at, it’s unfair to the host.
Err on the side of modesty.
Don’t trippy trop from the bathroom to your bedroom in just a towel. Get dressed out of your jammies before you make it into one of the common areas of the house, etc.
Everyone has different comfort levels, erring on the side of caution will keep you from unintentionally offending.
Don’t expect your host to entertain you.
Have plans that include getting you out of the house frequently. You can always invite your host to tag along, but it gives them a courteous “out” if they need to get some things done or need some personal time/space in their own house.
Bring ALL of your own stuff.
Toothpaste, shampoo, etc. Bring it all. This includes personal snacks. Don’t be raiding your host’s pantry whenever you get the munchies {unless they offer}. That way, you leave a very small mark on the house you are staying.
Send a thank you note after you leave.
I know it seems like over-kill when you have also brought a present, but being overly gracious never hurt anybody.
Those are my tips on how to be a good houseguest.
What are some of yours? Any I missed or that you strictly adhere to? Even better, ever had a bad houseguest? What did they do? How did you handle it?
~Mavis
Dawn says
My mother and grandmother always told me to strip the sheets off the bed and leave things like comforters and blankets folded neatly on the end of the bed when I left.
Cindy R says
Don’t bring food and dishes to your bedroom and eat in there. I have a friend who does this and I had to ask her not to. The house has a kitchen and a dining area, be respectful.
I also keep a roll of paper towels and a bottle of window under the bathroom sink so people can wipe down the sink, toilet, and shower area. I also ask them to use the squeegee on the glass door in the shower area.
Yvette says
I try very hard to be “the hostess with most-est”. Guest bath has an array of “did you forget something” in a decorative tin box- everything from toothbrush to deodorant to face masks and ear plugs. Shower stocked with soaps etc. Coffee drinkers get their own pot, filters etc in their space (because I don’t want them stumbling in my kitchen at 5am waking me up!). Given enough time warning, I ask if they prefer flannel or cotton sheets. As someone with food issues (celiac), I always check on allergies/preferences.
The best guests, strip the sheets and pillowcases and leave blankets on the chair. A+ guests offer to bring the sheets and towels upstairs to the laundry room! They also will clear their plates from the table (to the sink).
Beccah's figuring it out says
^ seconding Dawn on the sheets. It’s a little thing, but I always appreciate it.
My husband’s best friend (and his now fiancee) are always welcome to visit us. They’re such good guests that a weeklong trip isn’t overwhelming, even though we have two young kids.
They’re enthusiastic guests. Dinner is great! The farmer’s market sounds fun! I’ll chase your kids in the backyard!
They’re also very independent. If there’s something that they want to do that isn’t kid-friendly, they ask if it’s ok and then make plans to do it on their own.
Linda Sand says
My houseguests ate four times as much food as we did. That whole turkey only lasted one day! Now what?!
Lindsey says
My crappy guest story: we do not smoke and when we bought this house it was from a heavy smoker so we paid a lot to have suppressant paint undercoating put on before the final paint job. I always ask people not to smoke in the house and we do have an area to sit and smoke in the yard. This one guy stayed here for a week, as a favor to a friend—we did not personally know this guy. He smoked in his room the entire time, although we did not discover it until he left because the room was at the other end of the house and we try to give people privacy. I was furious, in fact so angry that I got his home address from our friend and sent him a bill for the repainting we had to do of his room. He actually paid it, sending along a nasty note on people who make life difficult for others by being so particular and over-sensitive to smells and sounds.
Torry says
I also have no smoking rules. I have compromised lungs, you don’t get to put me in the hospital! I would be so embarrassed if I were the friend who recommended him.. Glad he paid up!
BettafromdaVille says
Yes, to stripping the bed and bringing all sheets and towels to the laundry room!
My partner and I will also remake the guest bed if the host has an extra set of sheets, and if we are staying multiple days we will make dinner one night.
I also think that offering to bring wine (for dinner) and dessert (as I find making a dessert the most time consuming) can be a huge help.
Mimi says
Adapt to your host’s sleep schedule as much as possible!
When my kids were small my sister needed a place to stay for about a month. She was, and still is a night owl, we are early risers. She would return home in the wee hours in her Doc Martens, clomping through the house (hardwood floors), waking my husband and I several nights a week. We we were not amused.
Mrs. M says
I agree with adapting to your hosts sleep hours as much as possible. We had a houseguest for a week once that would start telling our small children, “It’s time for bed,” when it wasn’t their bedtime.
Nee Nee says
I love all these tips!! I wish I could print them off and leave them on the table in their room?? Would that be rude I do feel I am a much better house guest myself than I ones I get!!
And yes I always ask them if I can strip the bedsheets before I leave
I even ask if they want me to start them in the washing machine
And I reuse my towel I don’t take a new one every time!!
And I don’t leave my stuff in the bathroom unless I have my own
Linda says
Fil stayed a week and smoked only in the bathroom even though infant daughter had asthma and I was highly allergic. He hid in the bathroom like no one would know. I finally told him there was only one place to pee and now I was sick from having to go into smoky bathroom! He said he did not know that. Then, he sat in my son’s room on a child’s table that my father made me when I was four. No, he was not aware his should not sit on toys, either.
BIL, son of the fil, visited and ripped the paper towel off the wall somehow. Next time I tried to use it after he left, if fell off the wall. He gave us a very nice paper towel holder for the wall after fleeing without a word about what he did.
Daughter’s friend called her mother and told a lie, that I was mad at her. I did not even know she had been swinging on daughter’s canopy over her bed!
Sister smoked in bathroom and burned a place in wooden bathroom shelf and laughed about it. This is after a visit to her house when she yelled at me for leaving a washcloth on the side of the tub. I had no idea where the dirty clothes hamper was, and would not have thrown in a wet piece of laundry to mold. I dry things on the tub first. I had wrung it out and spread it out, did not leave it drippy and wadded up.
Renter threw up all over upstairs bathroom and walked naked through the house.
Second renter was drinking, fell and broke a table, demanded a table that was ‘good’ and would not break. Both sent packing. Both ‘respectable’ me in forties.
“Friend” who lived with me for a year because she was homeless stole from me, slept with any man with whom I was friendly. She gave her bf free rein in the house when I was not home. However, she was neat, clean, helpful, did not drink or smoke.
Professor friend stayed with me a month instead of the week or two. She tied her dog to house structures that might be damaged by his pulling. Hooked his chain to chain in chain link fence instead of the supports or top rail. Tied him where he could reach neighbor’s yard where he promptly dug a big hole. When he growled at me in my yard, she told me I should go into the house. Asked to store furniture in my house while she went overseas and filled all the boxes with mothballs. When spring came, I was suffocating in the smell. Took my estrogen, stole all my coffee, took things to many to mention. She had fully body jock itch from sleeping with dog in desert in summer. She took her wet towels and hung them over daughter’s canopy. Sat in a towel in my upholstered chair, left it wet. I finally kicked her out. She disrespected other people’s homes and hospitality. We all talked later.
Shari Harniss says
Holy Toledo. Girl. Your restraint is admirable.
Shari Harniss says
If you are a guest in my home, please, don’t do chores. I understand guests wanting to be helpful. I prefer to do things my way.
I want them to enjoy the pampering and to be completely comfortable.
Now, I also make sure that they know the few ‘rules’ of the home. Whether that is no smoking, removing shoes at night to lessen the noise, or whatever.
So many of us have few opportunities to completely relax. I want to gift that to my guests.