So now that I’m a working woman, I know a thing or two about the workplace. I mean, I won’t be an expert or anything for at least a few more days {ha!}, but I have learned a LOT about looking busy when you are absolutely being non-productive by watching some of my coworkers. They are pros at faking busy. Here are some of the tips I’ve picked up on:
Take a lot of water breaks: Trips to the water cooler can kill large quantities of time if you talk to everyone you know on the way there and back and walk at a snail’s pace.
Take a lot of bathroom breaks: If you follow the first tip, this one might not be faked. Lots of liquids means lots of potty breaks. Follow the advice in tip #1 to drag those breaks out as long as possible as well.
Point at things: When the boss comes near, point at your screen and head nod to your neighbor as if you are sharing something of utmost importance with him.
Hide your game playing: Have a full browser full of open work tabs pulled up and ready to toggle to at a moment’s notice.
Appoint a lookout: If you have a trusted coworker, trade off standing guard and using a predetermined signal to notify the others that the brass is near.
Ask questions: You can kill so much time by simply asking monotonous questions that have no merit and that 9 times out of 10 you already know the answer to. But you’ll seem engaged and the minutes will fly by.
Talk on the phone: To no one. Just have the receiver to your ear while you play games, check email or read up on the Kardashians. You’ll immediately look like you can’t be bothered.
Tell people you can’t be bothered: Let people know repeatedly that your schedule is so packed you have no time for their interruptions.
Write in a notebook: It’ll look like you are taking furious notes or writing down important ideas and strategies, when in fact you are making note of movie start times and building your grocery list.
Actually work: I know, I know. Defeats the point of this whole post, but hear me out. If you diligently work a majority of them time, you’ll gain the reputation as a hard worker and no one will question you when you slack. Plus, you’ll hit all your deadlines and maybe even earn Employee of the Month this way. It’s a win/win.
Any tried and true strategies you’ve seen on how to look busy when you’re actually doing nothing? Do tell!
Back to work I go,
~Mavis
Carrie says
In the winter, my office is dreadfully slow. I leave some non-urgent projects for this time and then I stretch out the project over a week or so filling in with gaps of nonworking shenanigans. My direct boss doesn’t care if I read books or look at the news when it’s slow. I also can take extended walking breaks on the trails and my boss encourages that. I don’t have the guts to look at blogs, youtube or facebook while he is around though. I like to keep something on my desk that I can turn to and appear busy if the big boss drops by. Right now I have a stack of brochures to fold and I’m reading your blog!
I also like to watch the bird feeder we have set up outside our conference room window. I’ll make tea and go watch the birds while I drink if no meetings are going on.
CheapNLazy says
Big undisclosed bank pays me to listen to podcasts! (ok i also virtually & mindlessly QA doc mgmt).
Heather says
Also to add, work at the speed of a snail. This manages to drag out even the most menial task to a full blown project. Scattering papers all over your desk is also VERY effective! I’ve seen both of these tactics employed regularly by co-workers and it has served them well.
Katy says
No, no, no. If you don’t have enough to do you aren’t looking hard enough. I can’t stand slackers. Be productive!
Crystal says
Agreed! My comment at home is “I hate lazy!” The last tip is spot on! Do the work and no one questions when you slack off. except the slackers that you have been doing the work for…
Carrie says
If I didn’t have to be a “warm body” at a front desk I would complete my job responsibilities in 20 hours a week. I am not a slacker, I just don’t have enough to do. Having an easy job is sometimes dreadful but I will take it over being stressed out and overworked like many of my peers. I get paid really well and have great benefits. It really comes down to our society realizing not all jobs have to have 40 hour work weeks.
If y’all aren’t slacking at work why are you commenting on a blog at 10am on a Wednesday? ;P
Kori says
Great post. Pretty Darn funny considering I always read your blog at work. 2.5 years ago I was so bored at work that I enrolled in Online College Classes. In September I graduated with my Bachelors Degree in Accounting. Without the ability/opportunity to do my school work at work, I would have had a heck of time getting all my school work done. Full time College classes, full time work, 2 kids at home and a traveling husband can get pretty difficult. Now I use my degree for the same company but doing way more work-work than I was before. Turned out to be a win win!
Mavis Butterfield says
Wow!!!! I love it.
Leslie says
Wow! Were you able to leverage for any tuition reimbursement?
E in Upstate NY says
Was a temp for a pregnancy leave. When came in for training, was told that during the summer, work was so slow that the computer screen was pushed way back, and a small sewing machine was put in its place. With the office door closed, she would have the door opening to warn her to pull down the front of the computer desk. Further more, she would bring in her ironing to do in one of the back rooms, again using the door opening as the warning to come up front.
I wasn’t there during the summer but there at the start of school in the fall. For the six weeks, only once did I leave work on Friday knowing that I had work Monday to do. Had lots of clean paper clip containers, alphabetized magazines and clean door windows!
Yes, this was an interesting temp job.
Tracy Prissy Pants says
Well, call me a prissy pants, but to me this is a matter of personal integrity. You’re being PAID. What about asking for more work? Using downtime to organize supplies, merchandise, or even cleaning? If someone is giving me a check at the end of a pay period, I’ll be damned if I’m going to do nothing on their dime. And I’ve never heard of a work situation where an industrious employee couldn’t find something constructive to do to help the company they work for. And live up to their end of the contract.
shari harniss says
AMEN!
A friend of mine told me that when his children went to work (for the first time) to understand that for eight hours they were their employers servants.
Do your job- you’re getting paid for it!
Finds this Sad says
This new job of yours is great! It is really giving me some insight into how a new employee sees their job and their coworkers. I know your work ethic has to be awesome judging by this blog. I wish you lived Kansas…I would hire you in a minute! As an employer who is finding it more and more difficult to find good reliable actual workers, I would love it if you could give some insight on how to possibly curb these types of activities. Do the jobs need to be combined? Is there not enough work for each person? Can you give us insight into how those people justify getting their paycheck and benefits? I cannot understand people that do these things and am very surprised at some of the comments on here. If you are being paid to work and you find yourself with nothing to do wouldn’t you go ask your boss what else you might be able to help with? Surely a paid employee wouldn’t sign up for online classes, etc, etc….on the company’s dime?!?
Mavis Butterfield says
Ohhhhh I could write a book on this. But would an employer actually read it and FOLLOW through? Truthfully, I am really struggling. I.cannot.stand.idleness. IT DRIVES ME BONKERS. Yes, the jobs need to be combined. Yes, there are too many workers. Yes, you would think people would go up to their boss and tell them they are finished with the task and ask what else could be done. Believe me, I did that for the first two weeks. And then finally gave up because they just looked at me like I was crazy and then asked if I wanted to go home early. I’m going to stop there.
Finds this Sad says
You should consider writing a book on it. As an employer, I would read it and refer it to my many friends in upper management. We are always trying to figure out where we are falling short and finding ways to keep the good people that are actually doing everyone’s work. You might even be able to start a little side business where employers hire you to see how their training at different levels is being completed and ways they could improve. I can’t believe the time waste in today’s work force. One of our biggest struggles is people being on their cell phones constantly. I have had to fire two people b/c they would not stay off their cell phones. I really enjoy your blog and your work ethic. 🙂 It helps keep those of us that work many many hours at our jobs motivated at home as well!
Laura says
Yikes. This happened to me to. I think they were so happy when I finally just did my own personal organizing tasks instead of asking for more work. I was a summer intern and I think it stressed them out to see me whiz through the tasks they had for me. It was frustrating, but I had the benefit of fully planning out my post-grad trip to Europe, which is where all my savings were headed. So worth it in the end, but surprising that they didn’t want to fully utilize a hard worker willing to work!
Lynn says
Maybe you’ve already posted this but what is your job and how many hours a week do you work?
Leslie says
I was pulled from my position to become the new personal assistant to the president, which was awful. But if I needed something done ASAP, I could say “It’s a Jody project.” and everyone rushed to help me. That was handy. Because everything really was a Jody project.
Margaret @ Live Like No One Else says
I love this post. Gosh this drives me and my husband crazy. My hubby has a really strong worth ethic and just cannot be idle and when he’s working, he’s hustling. He’s been at his company going on 4 years and this year he was really cranky and kind of tired for carrying the whole place while most everyone slacked like crazy. He finally got fed up and went to talk to his boss. This has been an issue for a while that his boss knew about. He basically said (kindly) that if the company had so much money to just allow so many people to do absolutely nothing, that they probably have it in their budget to compensate him a bit more for doing the work of so many other employees. This was at the end of the day and by 7 am (hubby starts at 6) the following day, he received a really nice raise. He’s also received a little promotion come January.
Mavis Butterfield says
Good for him. It amazes me how the higher ups just mostly look the other way. I’m glad he was rewarded for his strong worth ethic.
mdoe37 says
My last job was in a secretary pool. Eventually, as I proved ability, I was given other tasks. After it was announced that I would be ordering office supplies etc., a gal actually sidled up to me and said, “You shouldn’t do all that extra without extra pay.” I just blinked dumb and innocent. Of course, I was being paid more and kept getting more responsibilities. Rinse and repeat.
Of course, when I would take a day off, no one would even think to help any of my departments….not even so much as putting postage on an envelope.
Wyoming Gal says
I have been the worker and the senior executive in different workplaces at different times. During summer vacations from college, I worked for the Federal Government in one of it’s defense supply agencies. There I had pretty repetitive, clerical work. A number of the full time workers would ask me frequently to slow down. I thought their work ethic was very poor indeed. The manager was a kind man, a hard worker and VERY unsuited to supervise others who were unmotivated.
I have worked in work places where the expectations were very high and few workers survived who were not productive because they would be discharged. It was actually a fun work place, but very demanding.
I currently work for a non-profit that requires very specialized backgrounds and educations from a number of workers. Of the 100 or so full time workers only a few have the same job description and title – so most people have unique jobs with special requirements. This is a much more difficult workplace to judge the productivity of each employee. Here the productivity of workers is much more dependent on their character and how much they care about the mission than on anything else. I agree that there is always something productive a worker can do – though sometimes the work culture is very hostile to people who want to improve or accomplish more. I also would point out that taking brief breaks such as a short walk or a few minutes away from your desk is likely to improve your productivity, not decrease it.