Rodan and Fields. Jamberry. Lipsense. Lularoe. Pampered Chef. Younique. DoTerra. The list goes on and on. If you have any social media account of any kind, I’m sure you’ve been hit with a wave of multi-level marketing advertising by at least one of your friends {or many, many friends}. You’ve probably been private messaged, invited to countless in-home or online parties, or just seen the endless posts while scrolling through your feed.
Multi-level or network marketing has taken over social media, and unless you are living under a rock, you’ve seen it. I applaud so many of these entrepreneurs for working so hard to build their businesses, but what do you say when you have no desire to join them and they won’t stop asking? How do you politely tell them that you aren’t interested without offending them all while letting them know you really don’t want to be contacted again in the future? I’ve been contacted many times by friends and family with business propositions, and I have no issue with that at all. Clearly they would want to reach out to me because we’re close. And in those cases, I simply say I’m not interested but I’m proud of them for going all in! And they understand and we leave it at that and go on our merry way with our relationship.
But how do you handle the friend you went to 2nd grade with and haven’t seen since who Facebook stalks you and repeatedly tries to pitch to you. You don’t really know them from Adam, and you know the only reason they are reaching out is to get you to sign up under them. How do you properly handle that? Is there a way to be tactful, yet firm? I think so. Here’s how I handle it.
If I am messaged about joining a MLM company {which is normally always how I’m approached. No one ever calls me}, and I don’t know the person at all, I ignore the request. Plain and simple. If we are Facebook friends and I’ve met you, I’ll begin by asking how you’ve been or making polite conversation about how we are connected {kids, school, work, etc.}. I’ll acknowledge the request and then give my reasons why I’m not interested. They vary depending on the company, but if it’s not a product I’ll use or care about, I’ll say that; if it’s too time consuming, I’ll let them know that; if I already use the product and buy from someone else, I’ll say that. Then I’ll reiterate that I am not interested, ask them to take me off any email or distribution list if they’ve placed me on one, and then wish them luck.
And normally that works. Except when it doesn’t. And they continue to contact me. And then things get tricky. They become what I like to call MLM bullies. And then I throw politeness out the window, because in my experience, that’s the only thing that works.
How do you handle situations like that? Have you been on the receiving end of a MLM bully? Are you a network marketer? What is your take on all of this? How to you approach your marketing? How would you prefer people respond to you when you reach out to them? I’d love to hear your take!
~Mavis
Barb says
No excuses, no explanations. I try to be polite the first time–No thanks. The next time I’m not so polite–No. The third time–No f’ing way.
Jeanie says
Jeanie says
Oops that should have said…I agree 100%
mullingthingsover says
I generally ignore the obvious copy/paste ones in messenger from distant acquaintances. If family or something takes the time to contact me directly without an obvious copy/paste, I just say I don’t have any friends so I can’t host an online party for them. Or, “how does your nutritional product interact with this list of fertility medications?
I know that I can’t take as it will interact incorrectly, or at least I can’t take it during certain times of the month before or after ovulation. How does you product interact with these things?” That usually makes them go radio silent. 🙂
If someone adds me to a group without my permission, I take myself out or at least stop the notifications.
Miriam says
If someone never talks to me and sends me a MLM message, they are unfriended immediately. I don’t need that type of friend in my life.
Rebecca in MD says
I used to really feel guilty turning down offers from co-workers for their parties for Pampered Chef, jewelry, Tupperware, etc. You try to be polite and say “no thank you,” and next thing you know they are chasing you down with the books to place an order. However, I found that with persistence, “no thank you” and “I’m not interested” finally got them to leave me alone.
I don’t even feel guilty anymore when they ask. Practice makes it easier.
Em says
Sadly, unsolicited phone calls are like this as well. For the ones I end up answering (instead of letting them go to voice mail), it seems they won’t let you get away with a polite “no, thank you” these days. It’s a shame it has all come to this. I miss when people had manners.
KC says
Once again, I am so glad to be living under a rock (aka: not on social media). It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.
I’ve known people who did MLM, but my friends were not aggressive about it – no sneaky “come to a party! and we won’t mention it’s a product party until you’re there!” and no repeated notes unless interest was displayed (Pampered Chef does have some pretty nice stuff; their little square-ish-but-with-four-different-corner-shape pan scrapers are the best for getting stuck-on rice off saucepans). I had some not-great encounters with remote acquaintances (friends-of-friends), but not for a while – it seems that most of the requests have moved to social media, so hooray!
Susan says
KC, I haven’t had much trouble with this either, but have to agree about how handy those vinyl scrapers are (perfect for cleaning cast iron skillets).
Tammy says
I haven’t had to deal with too much of this. I actually want some things from Pampered Chef, so if someone invited me to a party I’d probably go to that. 😉 But otherwise, I really am not interested…too much money for what you get.
Amanda says
Hi Tammy,
I know that this is a year late but I found this article and I am one of those Pampered Chef consultants that has a great fear of coming off as pushy so I thought I should read this. I’m glad I did because I really want to build my business but also don’t want to offend or intrude on anyone. If you don’t already have a PC consultant, I’d love to help you out and can even send you a catalog. I don’t even know if you’ll see this response but I thought I’d give it a try. Hope you are doing well!
Amanda
Dana says
It’s simple enough to just say, ‘I’m not interested.’
If they persist, turning it around on them is helpful, ‘I told you I’m not interested, why are you continuing this conversation?’
If they say something obnoxious like, ‘Oh, you don’t want to make money? You’d rather be the poor sucker on the sidelines?’ I say things like, ‘My money is my business. This is how you recruit people? Best of luck with that.’
If they just keep coming at you, ask them something outrageous like, ‘Give me $5,000 to start this business and I’ll return it when I make what you say I’ll make!’ When they say ‘No’, just say, ‘Obviously you are t confident in your ‘business’ so let this be the last I ever hear about it.’
DONE.
tabby says
Best answer yet!!!
Marcia says
Hmm. I’m not sure that I’ve been contacted by people so…aggressive.
I’ve been around the block a lot, and I know the MLM companies. I’ve gone to friends’ houses for parties or for pitches. No, I’m not a glutton for punishment, but in some cases…when you’ve got a 1 year old, any excuse to be with adults! That was awhile ago.
In any event, I aim to be honest.
– For skin care (R+F, and one other), I’m honest, I don’t have a skin care regimen. Too lazy.
– For pampered chef, I love that stuff. I got my first invite in 10 years and was psyched! Finally replaced my garlic press.
– For clothing – I admit that I got invited 10 years ago and thought “who thinks I’m into fashion??” But for a few years, I went, I bought items, and they are my favorites. I’ve been wearing them since (well, except for a few years of pregnancy, etc.) So now…you know last year I was invited to FOUR CAbi parties, and I declined saying that I was on a “no new clothing” kick for the year, otherwise I’d be there. It worked.
– doTerra, tried that, doesn’t work for me.
– jewelry – don’t wear it
– Juice+ – not interested
– Here’s a new one – wine club. While I do have to admire people who are hustling to make a living, and I love wine…I live in wine country. I have no need to join a “club” to ship me interesting wines from around the world. I can just go down to the local winery. Or, in a pinch, go to Trader Joe’s.
– Lularoe – all online, so I was able to ignore that “party”
– Makeup and fake eyelashes. I just quietly “unfollowed” those pages.
– Books. I go to the library.
Mostly, if it’s someone I don’t know, I ignore it. If it’s someone I do know, I’ll explain my values (frugality, natural living, environmentalism).
Funny thing is, the “pitch” is so similar for these companies. The wording they use in their FB posts. And it turns me OFF. I know they use it because it works on MOST people. But not on me.
I’m not against the products from MLMs. I love Beachbody workouts and can access all of them online for $99 a year. I like pampered chef, but I already have a stocked kitchen. I like CAbi clothing, but already have enough clothing.
Only occasionally has someone pushed a little too far.
Anne in VA says
I have been in home party sales for many, many years and I have never *had* to be pushy. I sell a craft product and my customers spread the word for me. I lost several recruits because someone way up the chain who was excessively pushy literally paid people to sign on under her. She provided no support and they were total flops. She received a short-lived financial gain by signing a large number of recruits but it really didn’t benefit anyone.
Thankfully, I have not been bombarded by the useless product folks who auto-ship their overpriced trend. I could not in good conscience be so obnoxious about the sales and recruiting.
wendy says
Where were you Mavis about three weeks ago when I was dealing with this? LOL Most of the people I know who are in MIL or peer marketing are very nice about and not pushy. HOWEVER, there was this one lady on my friends list that just would not stop, and tag teamed me with an associate on a ten minute phone call. I agreed to the call but not being tag teamed. She doesn’t mention the name of her business online but constantly talks about how great it is. She wouldn’t quit pestering me so when I found out the name, looked over her catalog, I was able to confidently tell her, your products are not for me. Even though she said, “we know we’re not for everybody” and I politely but firmly declined, she still tried to offer me something else. She was this close to delete and block. I don’t mind home parties and supporting my friends but this was OTT.
Cassandra says
I recently became a distributor for a product that I firmly believe has played a HUGE role in my health, well being, and sobriety. I did so because I got a discount for signing up. There are no sales minimums, or monthly fees, so I feel it was the smartest way for me to continue my support for this company. As I already said though, I firmly believe in this product and I really do wish some of my friends would try it, because I believe they would benefit from it. I do struggle to find a way to inform them with “selling” to them. I almost wish I wasn’t the salesman because my profit is not my motivation. No matter how hard I try, it always comes out like a sales pitch. When they say they don’t want to buy anything, I pretty much stop in my tracks, but it’s hard not to sing the praises of the product I love.
Susie says
Do you take protandium? I have been taking it and signed up because I like it so much- curious what has been helping you. I am the same as you- I know it can help people but don’t want to be pushy, that’s why I was reading through these comments. Mlm’ s are a business many milenials will do so it’s not surprising people are using social media to find more customers. It’s easy to unfriend them.
Cassandra says
I use juice plus products. I haven’t been sick in two years! And I have a very healthy jive plus baby 🙂
Denise says
http://nutritionstudies.org/whole-food-supplements-is-juice-plus-good-for-you/
Cassandra and any others who are using Juice Plus products,
You might be interested in this article.
Mrs. M says
I’m “living under a rock” with KC because I didn’t even know that being bombarded with MLM invitations on social media was a thing! Lol
I don’t “do” social media (no Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.). I have email groups for family and friends and that’s about it. I’m happy with my choices and even happier now that I’ve read Mavis’ post and the comments. 😉
Amy says
Amen to that!!!! Yay for living blissfully under a rock 😉
And I had to stop being friends with someone because she wouldn’t let up with her constant product plugging. I know she truly believed in her product but her continual plugging and pressuring lost her a lot of friends unfortunately.
Chefchenko says
Wow!
I thought I was the only one in the universe not “connected”!
Social media has wreaked more havoc, interrupted more lives,shattered family “togetherness” and made total nimrods like zuck ,billionaires.
What is this MLM you speak of? Many Living Morons?
LILLI says
It,a not just all the parties anymore but the fundraisers and special occasions. I no longer give explanations, I just say NO. I have a rule I developed a few years back. If I have not heard from you in a year or more, I no longer consider your special occasion to be my special occasion. On the other hand, I do enjoy the coupon books some of our school sports teams sell. Frankly my budget just does not have room in it to support you !
Heidi says
I say I am against pyramid schemes and would never buy from a MLM. A small amount of research will conclude that MLM is predatory in nature. Only the very top makes lots of money and the vast majority of people lose. Read about Mary Kay on Pink Truth. These “businesses”have the potential to get people in a large amount of debt. Just think of how often you find MLM items at garage sales. People trying to unload their inventory that cost them hundred or thousands of dollars. The products are usually sub par and vastly overpriced. So I won’t cheer someone on for being a consultant. Harsh? yes but watch the Herbalife documentary on Netflix and read Pink Truth.
Denise says
I’m mostly not on social media so I don’t receive a lot of invites. Years ago everyone in my neighborhood was having a home party for one product or another. I mentioned how much I hated them to my neighbor. She said she simply told people who invited her that she would never dream of inviting friends to a party where they were asked to spend money and made to feel guilty if they didn’t. She said what kind of friendship is that? I just tell peop;e if I have to spend money don’t invite me.
Patty P says
Every once in a while I’ll say yes to going to a party or buying something, but only if I really want something. A few years ago I had siblings/ cousins/friends who were selling things and I did a party or two, got some nice things, but after a while it was awkward to have to say NO because I don’t want to keep bugging my friends to buy things for my party. I am a distributor for YL mainly because I wanted the products, but every once in a while someone will come to me to order something…only because they know I can get it for them. I did unfriend a consultant a few years back because she was constantly pushing to have parties and to buy stuff in general…it was a little awkward because she lives less than a mile a way from me…NOw I’m not even on Facebook, so I don’t really feel any pressure there. The more recent problem is the girls from my church having parties…I went to one because I wanted some products, and then I got bombarded by invites. I’ve just been turning them down though, and they are pretty understanding.
Stacey says
I actually sell Pampered Chef, and have for 24 years. I don’t ever use Facebook to hound people about it, and never will. I think most of the people who do that are so desperate for business, that they think it’s the easy way to get people to do shows. In my opinion, they aren’t working their business correctly, and maybe that’s why they are so desperate! Just turn down the invitations, no explanation necessary! If they can’t take a no, then they are in the wrong line of work.
Dave says
The trend in MLM Industry now is to offer a free signup, no strings attached and if a person sees and likes a product or service that helps them and/or meets there needs they buy. No need to beat someone up to join you. Either they want or Don’t , move on with expediency
Jane says
My favorite is when I get a friend request on Facebook from someone who is vaguely familiar and if I look at their profile it’s obvious they just want me to buy something. Also, I hate that Facebook makes it where I can be automatically added to a group without even getting to be a part of the decision. I feel no guilt in leaving groups, hiding, blocking, etc. I just personally don’t want to deal with that stuff on social media.
Delores says
Okay I guess I am living under a rock- had never heard of this prior to your posting. From the sound of it– I think I’ll just keep living under a rock (and appreciate my great friends and associates for leaving me blissfully ignorant under my rock).
debbie in alaska says
The lula rue or whatever it’s called invites that I get on Facebook I simply ignore. I don’t have to time to respond to all of them and frankly I have zero interest in their clothes. I also ignore all the requests to play games or put a heart in my status, etc because NOPE. I’ve been fortunate to not have anyone attempt to be pushy with me. Partly I think that’s because people know me well enough to know how ineffective it would be to push me since I tend to be a pretty direct person. This is beneficial and effective — but also sometimes scares/intimidates people. I blame my east coast upbringing 😉 As for phone solicitations, or dealing with pushy or incompetent people, I handle those the same way — I tap into what my west coast friends lovingly refer to as “east coast deb” and nip it in the bud. HOWEVER, if someone is friendly, respectful and genuine in their attempt to solicit me, I give them the same courtesy. And if I can support a friend who is trying to launch a product (Arbonne, Young Living, etc) I do my best to support them and learn more about the product and then if I like something I buy it. If not, I tell them so. I love supporting friends in new ventures — AND I won’t buy something I have no use for. I find often times I can successful accomplish both.
Kathy says
I love my business but I love my friends more. A simple no thank you or sure I’ll check it out is fine. When I had a brick and mortar business I felt the same way. I’m supporting my family but there is no pressure for anyone to join or buy. That is my feeling anyway. A few bad apples….
Leslie H says
A few years ago, I came to the decision that I would say, when asked about a party, that I have a No Party Policy for my life. I just don’t do them. I am bad at them, and uncomfortable with them. No exceptions. I have turned down my best friend who, being a best friend, totally understood.
Oh – and I also have a policy that Chains Are Made To Be Broken, and without exception, any chain — be it letter, email, Facebook message, send a book here and you’ll get 100 back –that comes my way will suffer an untimely end. I will break it, and furthermore, I will not even respond. It will die of neglect.
And a little bit of spite too.
I continue to add policies to my life as needed…so freeing!
Robyn says
MLM? Never heard of it -Seriously! Lucky me to be so techno unsavy !
Diana says
Wow, I have no problem saying no to when approached by an MLM sales person. Kids selling door-to-door for school or sports get me every time, and always will. But MLM, no. My cousin is selling ‘Essential Oils’ right now. I love her and her husband and their five young daughters, but not the MLM company that has sucked them all in.
Kim says
The worst of these, for me, is the old bait and switch. They act like they’re genuinely interested in me and my life, “so glad we’ve reconnected”, blah blah blah, only to reveal their hidden agenda a couple messages later. That one stings a bit…but I delete them from my Facebook and that’s that.
Elaine says
I work with a CDM company (consumer direct marketing) we’re not allowed to use social media like that. Yes, it’s all word of mouth but that’s literal (phone calls, face to face, you know, actually talking to people) I don’t chase anyone and if someone says no once I might call them again in a year! I have a lot of very happy customers that deal directly with the company, not me. In any case, the FTC is cracking down big time on mlm companies…too many people get hurt. My company hurts no one and offers products people actually need and without ridiculous the prices.
Michelle C says
May I just commend you on being one of the very first articles of a blogger I follow that has handled this with deep respect and regard for all those women (yes, many are women) and men that have dove into the direct network/sales genre of business (or MLM). Success magazine did an entire article about 4 years ago detailing why direct sales is a great low investment opportunity for those entrepreneurs that are just getting started. On average it can take 7 attempts at business ownership before one becomes successful. I am on my second attempt at a direct sales business. The first had lower investment but I just didn’t have the right clientele to optimize nutritional sales. This time around, it is retail clothing. It is set up much more like a brick and mortar minus owning your own store front. It is in home party style, but I purchase all my product whole sale and then sell at retail, like a real shop does. There is no pressure to have people sign on under me as the sales of products alone can create substantial income. I apologize to all those that have been turned off by the multitude of individuals attempting home businesses. I do believe it is truly a sign of our times. Most individuals aren’t even joining these businesses to generate a million dollar income, but truly just attempting to add a little extra income to their families bottom line, maybe even to help put food on the table. After all, there really is only so many hours in a day and so many “jobs” you can juggle at once to make ends’ meet. So again, Mavis, thank you for handling this sensitive subject so kindly. I appreciate you big!!! Thank you!!
Emily E. says
My Mom used to tell me that rude people only understand rudeness. That’s like their language and they don’t even see it as being rude and it’s just what they understand. I think that is mostly true. Bullies and rude people only respond or understand rudeness. I agree that if they don’t take no for an answer, that’s on them and it’s all bets off.
Sandra says
I’m dealing with this right now. I have a pushy friend that wants me to buy her overpriced Purium supplements. She’s doing her best to guilt and manipulate me into making a purchase to support her. My birthday was last week, so she insisted on sending me a gift for my birthday even though I told her several times that I didn’t want anything. What’s my gift? Samples from Purium and a $50 gift card to buy Purium. But here’s the kicker…I have to spend at least $75.00 in order to use the gift card, so in reality, I’d be buying my own birthday present from her. LOL! When I explained to her that our household is on a very limited budget, she said just order anyways because it would help her out. Since when did a present come with strings attached? I JUST started speaking to this friend again, and now I’m suddenly reminded on why I stopped talking to her in the first place.
I ended up sending her a firm email stating that I wasn’t interested in any of the Purium products and even if I were, our budget doesn’t allow it. Hopefully, that will be enough for her to lay off. If not, I’ll have to play the “B” card and tell her very bluntly to either lay off or our friendship is over. I refuse to be bullied into supporting someone that obviously doesn’t respect me.
Mavis Butterfield says
Clearly, she is just there for your money. A real friend would not push it that far. 🙁 Sorry this is happening to you Sandra.
MM says
Generally, my experience with network marketers has been on the up and up, and I tried it a few times myself.
I think the most polite/civil ones were with BeachBody. They were the anti-thesis of the stereotypical network marketer and really were there to serve people.
I have had only one case where the person is not getting my no. I have just become more and more firm. First rule of thumb, do not give them any objections. They will just look for a way to overcome the reasons you give them. Just say no, and give no reasons. That makes it clear that you are not on the fence.
I was probably a little too kind and let the person know they can continue to send me emails if they want, but I am a no. I don’t have room to read the emails about the product. I am pretty clear I am going to continue getting fb messages, and I am just straight that I am not reading any more of them.
I just don’t have any more time I am willing to dedicate to reading and responding.
As for my own experience of network marketing, I did fb message people awhile back, and I either received annoyed responses or no responses and I didn’t like how I felt. I was just never comfortable with the network marketing business model, and have no intention of ever using that model.
Generally, I look at network marketing, and my thought is… “Why would I bust my behind for such a small percentage of the sales?” I would rather buy wholesale and sell at retail after putting in my own elbow grease to build a business.
I have not found a network marketing product that isn’t over-priced and under-delivers. Team BeachBody might be the exception. Although I have found that I can buy some of their products on amazon and not have to wait so long for the product to get shipped to me.
Angelina S says
Need to back up here to the original article. I took your advice and recently politely declined an acquaintance. She has since come back twice with “marked down” products, and I’ve again told her I’m not interested. Thanks for your advice, it was helpful.
But…entrepreneurs?! That’s what left a bad taste in my mouth. I have literally spent the last 6 years building a company from the ground up, traveling the country to find suppliers, and searching for over 2 years for the right storefront. I accomplished all of this while also holding down a full time corporate job and raising 2 daughters. These people are not entrepreneurs —-they are sales people made to feel like they are running their own businesses. That’s part of the gimmick. If you invest years of your life building a business from scratch, you have a right to call yourself an entrepreneur. Selling products based on someone else’s business idea is NOT entrepreneurship. Let’s not confuse things!
Jen says
Good advice..I just ran across your article through a Google search so I’m way behind the times. I only have had one friend who kept asking me to join an MLM (which they denied was an MLM, but it is). After saying I was not interested about 5 times I asked her a few personal questions about things going on in her life and discovered she’d been putting off dental work for months and months (to the point she covered her mouth with her hand during every web presentation while talking to sell the products) and her car wasnt running. I apologized that she was having problems but said I’m pretty sure those two things would be priorities if she was making so much money selling her products, so I wasnt convinced and wouldn’t be trying it, thanks anyway, please dont ask again. The invites stopped. She’s probably mad at me but at least I’m not being hounded about selling cosmetics anymore. I wish her luck but it’s not for me.
Maureen says
My niece started pushing Plexus a couple of years ago. Her selling style is very aggressive. She was constantly trying to get me to try her products. I had researched the company and their products and decided they were both pretty shady. Then she started annoying my daughter and her friends. I finally had to call her mom, my sister, and ask her to ask her daughter to stop contacting my daughter and her friends. That finally worked but guess what she gave us for Christmas that year? Plexus products! She never gives up.
Samantha Shank says
I do like and use some MLM products (Thirty One, Pampered Chef). Some (LuLaRoe) seem like outright scams, but it’s definitely the persistent ones who can’t take “no” that drive me crazy.
Barbs says
It seems like women just join these because they can’t make friends any other way. It’s sad.
Jessica says
I signed up with two companies, I was not pushed into it . I had the opportunity to try it and loved them both so I signed up for the discounts . I do find it hard to tell people about it though , I always feel like I’m being annoying. I’m told to message people in my vip group about special online events we are having but I don’t feel like most want to hear about it , but then again some don’t see the posts I make in my group and are happy that I reached out to let them know. But it’s hard to figure out who wants the messages and who doesn’t . If someone says no thank you I usually just leave it at that and say thank you for your time . I usually try to see if they would like samples I’d rather them try it and like it then buy it and hate it . I just wish some people would give me the time of day to even offer the samples but some are so against mlms you would think I was Sending them threats . Their are some bad ones out their and I understand that some consultants give the rest a bad name by being pushy and down right mean but we aren’t all like that .