Maybe I’m getting old, but it seems to me people are using cell phones in restaurants ALL THE TIME!!! I mean seriously, have you scanned a restaurant while eating out lately?
It seems like everyone spends the entire meal, or at least, the part where they used to actually talk to each other, on their smartphones. The irony, in my opinion, is that I suspect they are checking emails and social media, in an effort to “connect” with other humans. While an actual human being is sitting right in front of them! It drives me crazy.
A recent study showed that, on average, people checked their cellphones 114 times per day. But even more interesting was that people are spending, on average, 4 hours and 25 minutes a day on their phones!
I swear that not too long ago, it was considered rude to be on your phone when you were at dinner or checking out at the grocery store, but these days it seems like people just can’t put them away for 10 minutes.
If you take out sleeping hours {assuming 8 hours of sleep}, that’s like once every 10 minutes. Can you even imagine if we decided we were going to do something else every 10 minutes? Like, every 10 minutes you drop and do sit-ups for 30 seconds {or however long you usually check you phone?} or what if you practiced a musical instrument {played one song} every 10seconds?
We’d actually have time to get strong/good at something. It seems crazy to commit to honing a skill every 10 minutes, but we will give our time away to our phones?
So, I guess the whole point of this post is to ask you: Am I just part of a generation who grew up without phone in my pocket and still think there should be some etiquette while dining out? Or are times a’ changing {the fact that I even wrote “a’ changing” pretty much answers my own question} and I need to evolve with the world of changing social graces?
How do you feel about using cell phones in restaurants? Do you put your phone on the table when you eat out or keep it tucked away? I’d love to know.
~Mavis
Denise says
It is sad that we are so attached to our phones as a society. Putting it down to enjoy a meal with others should be considered good manners, but manners are also going the way of the dinosaur.
LDA says
Even more irksome (for me anyway) than being on a cell phone at a restaurant is using a cell phone while in a public restroom. I like my privacy please.
Wendy C. says
I put it down, but my husband and daughter used to play a game together on the phone while waiting for food and then I’m just sitting staring into space and watching people. But then once the food comes, they put it away. But they’ve gotten better about it and so we’re talking more, but if something comes up in the conversation that we don’t know the answer to or we need to research, then we will pull out our phone to look, but it’s adding to the conversation or answering questions that came up while talking.
Brianna says
I have a hard time when I see a young family at a restaurant and the parents are both on the phone and the kids are starving for attention. We recently went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and saw that at several tables and kids glued to tablets to occupy them, not to mention every employee with a phone in their back pocket and constantly checking it. I was so turned off by the digital circus that I really just desire to dine at home and enjoy my family. Our waiter even checked his phone in the middle of taking our order because my 9yo struggles with speech. For a special needs child, that is a slap in the face when others lack patience or understanding.
Christie says
I was at a concert the other night and the woman next to me could not stop touching her phone. It was like a nervous tic. She picked in up every 5 seconds throughout the entire concert! She didn’t even bother to dim the screen in the dark concert hall. That’s the part that bothers me the most. Her obsession lead to a total lack of disregard for the enjoyment of the other concert go-ers. And that’s my rant about cell phones. Lol!
Anne Sullivan says
I totally agree with you concerning the over-use of cell phones at meals with other people. Keep the phone away and have a conversation with your family or friends.
Meg says
I also can’t stand when I am in a restaurant and the patrons near me either whip out their phones and get up to take selfies, or photograph the food. I think it’s rude.
Carla says
Just last night my husband and I were on an impromptu date, putting our 12 year old in charge of our 8 & 7 year olds at home. When we sat down at the restaurant, I moved my phone from my purse to my pocket, so I could feel/hear it better if my kids called. I also had a text come in from a niece during dinner. I did acknowledge it via my smart watch, and looking back, I realize that was totally unnecessary and rude. I was warned about the temptation to be technologically rude when I got the smart watch, and that has proven true. Beware!
Ashley Bananas says
My son and I are very good about not using our phones when we go out to restaurants or when spending time together. If anything I am worse for it and he will take his phone out then mock me until I put mine away.
We recently went out with my niece and her friend, they spent a lot of the outing taking selfies and short videos for social media sites. Not my thing, but I understand that is part of their generation. I don’t think they realized how much time they put into what would have been candid shots for other generations photo albums. Things do change…
Sluggy says
I’m a tail end Boomer(I know, this new generation thinks we have ruined civilization or at least they remind me of that dubious “fact” constantly)and I swear these people sholuld have their cell phones permanently sewn onto their hand since they are always holding it and texting away no matter the time or place.
I’ve been seeing this more and more over the last 10 years or so, with my grown kids as well as strangers out in the general population. Even when they were late teens/early twentys, there were many a meal where they would be texting each other at the table instead of looking up and interacting with each other face to face and thought, “this will end badly for us all as a society”.
I believe the lack of respect for others has something to do with this very destructive trend.
Now I will go shout, “Get off my lawn” to some young whippersnapper….like any of them know what that word even means.
Hawaii Planner says
We don’t allow cell phones at the table when we’re eating at our own home (we have two teens – 17 & 18) & absolutely not at dinners/meals out. We rarely are out unless it’s a date or a special occasion, and we want to enjoy the time together. It makes me sad when I see two people out on a date, or just having dinner together or what not, and they are so busy on their phones. Isn’t the point to go out & have fun engaging with each other?
Sue says
Although we rarely eat out anymore, when we do we put phones away so we can focus on each other.
But we do bring one out when our conversations lead to a question or an information challenge. It’s fun to be able to get and share answers so quickly. But then the phone goes away again.
Diana says
We have a no phone rule when together as a family. The average person touches their phone 96 times a day and spends 4 1/2 hours on their phone, with young people coming in much higher at 8 hours, very scary! I limit my phone use to answering the phone for calls and posting on Instagram for my pillow business and my garden account. I do love sharing my gardening knowledge and encouraging people to grow their own food. It is my passion and living in the San Diego area we grow year round and produce most of the food we eat.
jenl says
Cell phones drive me batty….almost as much as smart watches. People think they are being discreet when they check their watch every 35 seconds to see the latest notification they receive. To me, it feels just as rude as if a person is on their phone.
Mavis Butterfield says
The smart watches make me crazy too!
debbie in alaska says
I’m guilty of mindlessly checking my phone — it’s something I’m working on. I don’t love small chat so sometimes a phone is a welcome crutch. But when I am outside in nature, the only reason I am using my phone is to take beautiful photos! Personally though the watch is a huge benefit for me. I am technically on call at all times for my job (if we have an outage I am the person who notifies the community and keeps people informed) so having a watch allows me to quickly see if the notification is work related or social. If it’s social I can ignore it. If it’s work – I can respond. I also love that the watch allows me to take photos remotely and start and stop music (when I teach dance classes) or check time, calendar etc without having to grab my phone. But one of the big things I notice is how regularly checking my phone keeps a low level of constant anxiousness humming in my body … whereas if I have someone else covering for me at work (like if I am on vacation) and am able to actually turn off my phone or leave it behind, that low level anxious vibe goes away. But it takes a little time to not be worrying about if someone can reach me or not. I will say I am so grateful that I went through high school and college without cell or smart phones. I can’t imagine how much harder both would have been in so many ways!
Mary says
We were out some time ago and my husband had his phone in hand while we waited for the food. So, since I happened to have a book in my purse (I’d been at an appointment and knew I’d be waiting there) I took it out and started reading. When he asked what I was doing, I pointedly looked at his phone…. Book and phone got put away and the rest of the evening was lovely!
Sue says
I’m in my 60s but have only had a smartphone for a few years.
If I’m eating alone, I feel free to surf the web, text or play a game (but no voice calls, which I hate anyway but would be rude IMO indoors where it could disturb others).
I would consider it rude to use my phone for those things during a shared meal, but what I do find is that I end up using it to enhance our conversation — to bring up a map or photo of whatever we’re discussing, or to google a word or phrase to clarify its meaning.
Tracy says
Well, the only thing I can think of that would be ruder than staring at one’s cell phone many times an hour while out in public would be …being so arrogant that we have the right to tell grown adults how to spend their time and what to do with their lives. Some might feel that spending hours gardening (which I love) is a complete waste of time, or filling entire days dying small scraps of wool fabric to be a mind numbing, anti-social waste of energy. So maybe we let grown adults decide how to fill their leisure time, and hope they choose to parent their own kids in healthy ways.
Connie says
That’s a bit snarky‼️
Rita says
Snarky indeed!!
Mina says
Ah, the redolent, rank irony of walking into another adult’s digital living room to nastily rebuke them for sharing an opinion about whether other adults are being rude…
Cristina says
Wow. Completely missed the point. That is the usual reaction when somebody is addicted to their smartphone. I hear similar reactions from drug addicts and alcoholics.
Sue says
I totally agree that it’s gotten way out of control.
My college grands are always on the phone when they visit me.
I’m thinking of putting up a sign so they can read it.
“BE HERE HOW”! That means can we just talk.
I don’t get to see them much because of living in different states and all the busy activities they are involved in.
I’m so over a lot of social media, it’s a sickness.
Kristen says
We almost always put our phones away while eating, with the exception being, as others have mentioned, quickly researching something as part of a conversation, confirming calendar availability when discussing upcoming events, or sharing a photo with someone at the table. However, there have also been occasions where my husband and I have spent all day working together and we’re eating out (usually quite late) as a matter of convenience (rather than a date or occasion) and we might spend some of that time on our phones simply to catch up with others in our lives. I’m sure we look very rude or unsociable to those around us, but we’re simply too tired to engage in conversation at that point and have already spent the day conversing with each other.
Pam B. says
Two years ago we were invited to have Thanksgiving dinner at my husbands’ sister and brother-in-laws home. Their adult daughters and their families had other plans so we were the only guests. They each had their cell phones parked next to their plates and frequently checked them while we ate. We chose to stay home last year and not feel ignored again.
Lisa Millar says
I always feel awkward if I am out with someone who can’t leave their phone alone for a stretch of time without checking it or interacting with it.
Oddly, neither my husband or I have mobile phones, so when we are out… we are in the moment of whatever we are doing, not splitting our attention to multiple other online people.
So… we have to talk to each other haha.
I always feel like a bit of a third wheel when I am waiting for someone to finish their 10th call or text while the whole point of going out with them was… to catch up WITH them, not stare into space while they connect with others.
I tend to shove a book or crochet into my bag when going to appointments where I might have to wait – and I love what Mary did above by pulling out her handy book while hubby was on the phone lol. Excellent point made!
Cheryl says
I am not a fan of cell phones. It’s been less than 2 years since I swapped my cute flip phone for a clunky smart phone. Very seldom do I use mine except to text occasionally.
Still have my house phone, same number for over 37 years.
We did go out to dinner a few weeks ago, for my birthday, party of 8 ranging in age from 31 to 70. Happy to say not one person used their phone at the table.
What about the people talking out loud with the thing in their ear and you answer them…thinking they’re talking to you. Yes that has happened to me and yes, I have also gotten into the wrong car outside a store. lol. And yes, there was a guy sitting in the passenger seat, looking at me like I was crazy…what’s that say about me?? 🙂
Tina says
Drives me nuts!! Stopped going to movies for this very reason. Same goes for people in a store talking on the phone up and down every aisle. Often times on speaker phone so everyone gets the pleasure of hearing both sides of the conversation! No phones at the dinner table here.
JulieP says
I agree wholeheartedly with all of the above and it doesn’t matter what country you are in it’s the same everywhere. Yes adults can make their own decisions and should but I still feel that we have lost something very precious by having easy to use mini computers at our fingertips. It will in years to come,I fear, come back and bite us.
Jamie Weaver says
There is amazing societal pressure to have a phone on you at all times, and this applies to adults and young adults/teenagers. As an adult you pretty much cannot get and hold down a job without a cellphone and having it on 24/7. For kids, there is FOMO (fear of missing out) pressure from friend groups due to chat functions and social media and pressure from parents to be aware of their children’s location at all times. The psychological feedback mechanism to have a phone and monitor it all the time is extremely strong and for many at the addiction level.
Honestly, I am looking forward to retiring in 20 years and finally being able to turn off the devices and stick them in a drawer for at least a few hours if not days.
Dianna says
Generally, I agree that being on one’s phone during a shared meal is inconsiderate to the other people at the table. When our family eats together, the rule is no phones at the table.
However, a few years ago I had an experience that changed how I view this about others. My father passed away unexpectedly; no one in our family had been in touch with him in over 20 years. My husband and I were the only ones willing to go take care of his final arrangements. We drove to his home 14 hours away immediately after work (I’m a teacher, he was a superintendent of schools at the time), cleaned out my dad’s apartment, went to the funeral home to make arrangements, and finally had a chance to stop at a restaurant to get something to eat after being awake for 2 straight days. We were so absolutely exhausted and emotionally spent that we could not make conversation. Instead, we both checked our phones for the first time in those days to see if the kids were okay back home, or if we needed to catch up on work emails. I also needed to see if my sub was okay at school. It crossed my mind that others could not know why we were on our phones and that it might seem rude. Since then, I always try to give others the benefit of the doubt. We can’t know what another person is going through, what message they’re waiting on, or if they just need a mindless moment so they don’t think about cleaning out a dead parent’s apartment.
Kristen says
What a hard thing to deal with, Dianna. I don’t know you but I’m sorry you had to go through that. And yes, what a great reminder that we don’t typically have any idea what someone else is going through and it’s not beneficial to anyone when we judge.
Brian Higgs says
I was on a first date and my date pulled her phone out and set it on the table in front of her face up. Then would occasionally look at the phone, appearing to read text notifications. And at least twice picked up the phone and typed and sent a reply. It wasn’t kids or babysitter. All are late 20s and she lived alone. I couldn’t tell if it was a lack of manners and social graces or a complete lack of interest in me and the date. Definitely a lack of respect.
Colin says
I grew up without cell phones and social media. When I was a small child (6,7,8 yo) my parents used to bring me a book to look through while we ate. My parents would talk to each other while I was distracted with the book. Now when I go out to eat I do not have my phone out or with me and my parents are either in their phones the whole time or at the bare minimum they will be on the table which is very distracting. Every time a notification sound goes off or the screen lights up they look down almost like it is a muscle reflex. I now feel like the parent taking my two children out to eat. Smartphones did not exist when I graduated from high school. I moved away for college and during my sophomore or junior year, smartphones came out and exploded in popularity. My parents have been addicted to them since they got them and are unable to have a face-to-face conversation, whether at a restaurant or otherwise, without a phone being in their pocket, on the table, within view somewhere else in the room, etc. When they ask me if I want to watch a movie or tv show with them, I know that I will be in the room watching whatever they wanted to watch while they are completely checked out and on their phones. If I get asked to go out and attend an event like a sports match, I know they will be looking at their phones the whole time. I’m not even able to talk to them on the phone as I can hear my mother typing away on her laptop or clicking on her phone as she plays a game or colors a picture. It is a very lonely feeling. The last time I remember being able to do something with them and they be totally present with me was when I was in high school, which makes me very sad.