For me, this year has been all about establishing what I want versus what I actually need. My big “want” this year is to pay down our mortgage. I don’t want a new car or a fancy pair of shoes–I want that looming mortgage balance to drop. I have learned to take a really hard look at what I actually “need,” so that I can afford what I “want.” And I think, if I am being honest, it’s mostly all about willpower.
Talk about first world problems, but I think most of us have issues with determining wants versus needs {all at different levels}. After posting that video on India and our over-consumption on clothing, I have really been trying to be more self-aware. We have SO MUCH here in the U.S. I mean, what do we really need beyond food, clean water, medical care, basic hygiene, clothing and shelter? How do we draw the line between superfluous wants and a life that is richer because of little conveniences/experiences?
When the rubber hits the highway, we all have to take a hard look at where we draw the line between wants and needs. I mean, afterall, what IS a need? It’s a necessity. Something you HAVE to have in order to survive. Then, there is the gray area…do we get to include things that help us grow as individuals in our “need” category? For example, continuing education? I think for some, that could totally be a need…especially if you need to get a {better} job or better at your job.
Wants are something different entirely. A want is just that…something you would like to have, but you will not cease to exist if you don’t. We are lucky enough to live in a time/place that allows us to enjoy life a little through our wants.
I think we should totally have wants. They give us drive and goals. The thing is, we can’t have everything we want. I think that sort of entitlement is what causes us all sorts of problems: debt, unhappiness, stripping natural resources, etc. I ultimately want financial freedom, and am doing that by paying down our mortgage. That financial freedom will fill my desire to travel more…and hopefully relocate to the east coast. Those are all wants…not needs…and I plan to keep wanting them and working toward them. I guess that means that other wants, like a new coat or kitchen gadget will have to wait.
So far {it’s still early in the year}, the conclusion I’ve come to is that it’s all about prioritizing and then sticking to it.
So, what do you WANT? How are you making it happen? Do tell.
~Mavis
Marsha says
I want to feed my family better food. So I started a garden, we have chickens for eggs, and raise rabbits for meat. We planted fruit trees and berry bushes last year. Technically, food is a need, but I wanted to do better. So I try a little every day! I’m so inspired by your posts.
Jeanie says
This is not a material item however, I want to figure out a long term plan for my R.A. I am only 51 and have (fingers crossed) a long time to live. I had a setback because the drug I had long taken caused me to have cancer so I quit taking it cold turkey. Now I have give my body a few years to heal and am ready to find a Rheumatologist that I can work with and who listens to me. I think I’ve found that office.
I also have really focused on taking only job assignments that bring me satisfaction (I realize I am super fortunate in that regard as I am not the primary breadwinner) and it has kind of changed my outlook on my work.
Third, now that my children are grown, I have chosen to be much more involved in volunteering at my church (I cater the receptions for funerals) and in supporting our clergy. My Episcopal church gives me such joy and I love being part of it’s intimate community.
None of these are changes that necessarily mean more money in the bank. I am very fortunate in that it isn’t a concern. However there is much to be said for health and happiness. All the wealth in the world cannot buy that.
Katharine says
I’m pretty good at identifying wants vs needs but struggle with prioritizing wants, or identifying ‘more needed’ wants if that makes sense. For example, I am traveling a lot this year. I live in Portland and am flying to the East coast fairly often these days, both for recreation and for work. Flying can be so boring and uncomfortable and I would really like to buy a tablet to be able to watch movies, play games, etc. I can get an iPad mini for around $300 but haven’t pulled the trigger on actually buying one even though I have the money for it (it’s not a choice between buying the iPad and buying groceries or anything) because I have it classified as a luxury. BUT, it’s a luxury that would make my life a lot more comfortable, since I’d use it as an e-reader, etc., when I wasn’t traveling. (My e-reader died earlier this year, right before my last long flight actually!) I’m trying to be better about frivolous spending – largely thanks to following you and your journey this year – and don’t know how to make these kinds of decisions!
Jessica says
I say buy the iPad! Think of it as investing in your life; you get to improve your life by buying one thing. With an iPad you get to read, use the internet, take pictures, utilize apps, etc.; I have had my iPad for years and am so glad I have it.
Here is a way that may help you make these decisions. I’ve read before that a good way to distinguish a want (or a really want) from a need is to not buy the item for a month and then consider buying it again at the end of that month. If it was more of an impulse want, you will find that you don’t still want it later (so you don’t buy it after all). If it was something you genuinely do want, you will still want it at the end of the month (go ahead and buy it). If it is something you need, you will know at the end of the month because you will remember all of the times in the past month that you needed it and how ” making do” wasn’t cutting it (go ahead and buy it).
Sounds like you have been contemplating the iPad idea for a while now. Sometimes it is worth “treating” yourself. You have worked hard to be where you are at now. $300 now would provide years of enjoyment (a pretty good investment!). Plus, don’t you think you will be more productive while on your business trips if your flight was more enjoyable?
Gina says
Yarn. I have to have yarn. And wool. The rest is want.
Kathy Gardner says
This is my year to travel. I am widowed and live by myself and have always been good about saving money for things I want and getting thing I need at discounts. I have the money saved for a trip to California (I live in Alabama) but my sister wants me to wait until the TSA gets better organized. She is worried that I would not hold up to have to wait for a flight for hours because I was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer last year. I am doing very well and I think I could handle it but I don’t want to cause her unnecessary worry or stress.
I am also going to take a train trip to NY to visit a friend and I am saving up the money for that now. She was recently diagnosed with breast cancer so I’m waiting until she is finished with radiation and then see how bad her fatigue is or if the chemo pills make her sick. Fortunately since I am disabled (not fortunate about that, of course!), I draw a monthly widows’ pension and no longer work so I can schedule things as I please around my chemo treatments.
I’m also planning a trip to Minnesota but the weather up there is bad ALL the time! LOL I think I may have a two week window during the year when it is not freezing to go visit my friend there. LOL She thinks August might be the best time to come up there.
I also hope to take a trip to Austin to visit my niece and her family on their new ranchette. They call it a ranch but I don’t think it is technically enough acreage to be a ranch so I call it a ranchette. LOL
And, I hope to be able to have surgery to remove the tumor on the tail of my pancreas some time this year when it shrinks away from my stomach and a loop of my colon. The chemo has worked to kill the four liver tumors and it needs to shrink that baseball sized tumor in order for me to have surgery without having to have part or all of my stomach and part of my colon removed at the same time. Recovery will not take a long time, honestly, and then I hope to get one more trip in this year once I get over the surgery.
I know that travel is a luxury and not a necessity but it is a luxury that I’ve made a priority this year. It is not taking food off my table or clothes off my back and I am paying cash for each trip so it won’t put me in debt.
Kylla says
I love traveling and kudos to you for saving and making the most of it! You can arrange to get through TSA quicker if you have a medical reason, you can use a wheel chair, or you can do TSA pre-check (which is a shorter/quicker line). Just talk to a travel agent or airline that you purchase your ticket from, they can help.
Pat says
Good for you. I too have cancer and everyday we must have a dream to work towards. I consider your trips a need. Where as im not sure a house on both coasts a need. Alot of budget preaching going on from someone who seems financially very stable.Heres to a sucessful recovery.
sharon says
A friend told me you can pay for a pass to go through TSA very fast. It requires an interview and money but it last for a few years.
Hope this helps.
Mavis Butterfield says
Kathy. You have such a great attitude. 🙂 I say, if traveling is your thing, GO FOR IT! Ask for a wheelchair when you get to the airport so you can zip right through that TSA line, no waiting necessary. Best wishes for your tumor removal. XOXO Mavis and Lucy
Jo says
Kathy, I traveled on chemo and while it was more tiring, it wasn’t that bad. I agree with the recommendation for TSA Pre Check, it is well worth the time and money. Also, call the airline in advance and get the wheelchair to take you between gates. They will even pick you up in the parking lot and then take you to baggage claim at the end at some airports. if the gate agents know your situation they will really help you and will take care of you. I was so impressed with the airport staff who helped me both when I had a grade 3 ankle sprain on the way to the airport and when I was on chemo. You have a great attitude and I promise people will want to help you.
Life can be much shorter than we think/hope and seizing the time we have now is all we can count on. Travel as you want and can afford. Your surgery will be more tiring, so go now! Enjoy the trip, take advantage of and let staff and other passengers help you and most of all have fun!
Practical Parsimony says
I need to take care of health issues, which I am. I want and need my PhD!
Katy says
I want to get my PhD as well. Go for it Practical Parsimony!
I applied and was not accepted and it really swept the rug out from under me. I need to get some more gusto and re-apply. It is also a very small and expensive program, so if I do get accepted I will need to make sacrifices in other areas to make it work.
JC says
Totally agree with everything said here. We fill our lives with things and stuff that we “want” and for what? How do any of those possessions really influence our lives or our happiness?
Jen Young says
When we bought our first house in 1989 we goofed around a few yrs & then got serious about what we really wanted – financial freedom. By 1999 we had paid off our mortgage & by 2006 we were totally debt free. The really grand thing is that our son was born in 1993, he was 6YRS OLD When we paid off our mortgage & 12 when we became debt free. I was a young 23 yr old when we bought our house & 33 when we paid it off. I quit working when our son was born so we did this on my husband’s small income (30 to 40 thousand a yr back then).
Since then I think we’ve been living our dream. The interesting thing is that those habits & choices we made during the lean yrs are still the way we love to live now for the most part. The only major change I see is that we eat better. I feel free to buy whatever we want from the grocery store & we eat out more than we could ever want to.
We still drive our old Civics. We’ve bought two cars, one in 1991 & one in 2006, both used. In 2009 our son bought his first car( 1998 Honda) . Since then he’s gotten married, bought a house, a car & truck of his own so he gave his car to his dad & we dropped the oldest car.
We still live without cell phones, satellite or cable. We actually travel less. We traveled a lot before because our families were across country. So our travel for the most part wasn’t really for fun. Now, we plan a trip then cancel a few weeks out because we really LOVE our home & being together so hate to go anywhere else. We live on 5 acres on a lake less than an hours drive from anything you’d want to see or do in a city.
I guess I do live with my wants now but I think I spent my time living with just what I needed to get what I want in the empty nest. I’m thrilled that we achieved it well before I turned 50 & am excited to see what’s to come in the future.
I might add…this all looks like such a beautiful picture & it is….I am very grateful. But no life is perfect. My husband was diagnosed with Type I diabetes when he was 34 so we have constant medical bills. A lot of our energy is spent on keeping insurance costs low & trying to be as healthy as we can be. I faced cancer in 2011, my son’s senior yr & was given a clean bill of health after surgery but I have to take daily medications & monitor it for the rest of my life. These things have made us more grateful for where we are & what we have. It’s narrowed our vision to what is really important to us…our relationship with each other & our family & friends. So that’s where most of our energy goes now. I rank my relationships as needs. For me, I didn’t get very far in life without seeing the need for strong relationships & I very happily sacrifice more travel, things, fun stuff to nurture them.
Ronnica, Striving Stewardess says
Prioritization is huge! When I want to buy something, I try to make myself consider if I want it more than I want a house. Sure, I can’t buy a house for the $20 I would have purchased something on Amazon for, but little things add up. I do allow myself some grace, giving each category a small monthly amount. I can say yes…if it’s within the money I have budgeted.
But sometimes I still decide not to buy, and throw the budgeted money in savings. It adds up!