A mom snaps a bunch of pictures of her daughter on her birthday, blowing out her candles while surrounded by a posse of her closest friends and family. One shot freezes the memory perfectly; lots of smiling faces and festive expressions. She posts it to social media and tags a few of the moms she’s friends with on Facebook.
A tourist sees a man dancing hilariously while walking down the street, whips out his phone and shares the experience with all of his followers, unbeknownst to the dancing man.
A group of friends dines together during a night out. One friend grabs her phone and documents everything, resulting in some unflattering, mouth-full-of-food shots which she plasters on social media.
These scenarios unfold daily all across the country. We live in a social media age where practically every move we make is documented. Recently, a reader left a comment on social media that made me pause:
Another thing that is getting RIDICULOUS: People stuffing their cell phones in your face and posting pics WITHOUT any sort of permission. Back in the day it was REQUIRED to have written consent prior to ANY photo was taken. ~Molly via Facebook
Can you imagine what our feeds would look like if written permission was still required? They’d pretty much be blank with the exception of selfies!
What are you thoughts on posting photos without permission. Do you think it’s inappropriate? If someone is in a public place, it’s perfectly legal to snap a picture of them and post without their knowledge or consent. Do you care? Does it make you angry? Do you long for the days when privacy was a respected thing? DO you snap and post without permission because everyone is doing it? Do you always ask permission first? Do you avoid posting many pictures on social media because of safety or privacy concerns?
Curious what your thoughts are on this.
Talk to me,
~Mavis
Lisa says
I have my FB Page set up so that any photo I am tagged in has to get my approval before putting it on my page. But that doesn’t stop them from being posted elsewhere. Most people don’t even care what you look like or if you would approve of what they are posting of you so I am always quick to get out of the area when I see a phone pop out! lol I don’t do it and I don’t like it when other do it.
Leanna says
I used to post a lot of events with my children in them. My oldest (18) asked several years ago not to put him on Facebook. My youngest (14) followed suit just a couple of years ago. Privacy. That is what they want. Don’t you want privacy too?
Angela D. says
Same here: my teens, ages 19 and 15, also do not want to be posted anywhere on social media, and choose to not have social media accounts.
Aud says
I personally don’t post almost anything without checking with people first- Maybe a large posed shot and even then I don’t tag people and only make it visible to my friends. I have intentionally stopped going to events I used to attend because I know someone there who will be taking shots and posting them publicly that are almost always less than flattering of the people there.
ozarkat says
My sister and I have an agreement to approve pics before posting. Some folks just don’t like the way they sometimes appear. I can understand that.
Mark says
Post a photo of a battered wife who is in hiding from her abusive husband, or someone who is in the witness protection program and see how one post can impact someone’s life.
TJD says
I agree with Mark. I have a nasty ex-husband that does not need to know any aspect of my life now. He lives many states away but because I want privacy I don’t do any social media and have asked my kids NOT to post pictures of me. It’s bad enough he can see where I work (public employee) and where I live (thanks Zillow). Even my phone number is available with a search! Sometimes it’s all too much. I was so happy the day he moved far, far away.
Betsy in MN says
The only pictures I post are of my pets. They really don’t care. 🙂
I get so annoyed with all the picture and video taking! Why can’t people just enjoy the moment for what it is? Do people really go back and look at the 1000’s of pictures they have on their phones?
I enjoy having let digital clutter.
Geunita Ringold says
I don’t really like having my picture posted from a specific place especially if I am out of town. That is the way people get profiled for being robbed while they are on a vacation or a weekend trip. If I am going to post pictures from places I go, I wait until I am back in town. I also worry about my grandchildren and where their faces are being posted. We share too much with people today and don’t realize who all can see stuff like that. It is amazing to me the number of people I click on who are friends with one of my friends on Facebook that I can see everything on their site. I’m a lot more paranoid about things like that now than I used to be.
Carolina says
While we are on the subject—What about the folks who are constantly whipping out their phones and showing you pictures of their (dogs, vacation, surgery wounds, grand kids), or you name it, regardless of time or place, without asking first if you would like to see them? When by son biked the length of Vietnam a few years ago, he invited me to his home to see his pics afterwards. THAT, I was interested in. Vacation,etc. shots of people I hardly know? Not so much.
Linda says
This is going to sound like I’m a real kill-joy, but I have to ask “Why is it perfectly legal to post other’s pictures without asking permission?” “Was there a law passed that repealed the one that we thought there was about NOT posting unless you had permission?”
I’m not happy to have my picture posted without permission. I let my 7 yr. old granddaughter put makeup on me with her Christmas makeup kit, each of us wearing a goofy Minion hat, only to find my daughter had posted our picture on FB. I looked just adorable, but none too smart, with my bright blue eyeshadow and round pink rouged cheeks that matched my granddaughter’s, but I had a serious and responsible job at the time and really didn’t want college students able to access or use this candid shot of me. I felt I should have the right to control how I represented myself to various constituencies. I still think so.
That picture of you at a recent party when you had a little too much to drink may not help you get promoted. Employers regularly use Facebook and other social media to make decisions about potential employees, and digital media is forever.
It is my understanding that posted pictures are in the public domain, and that, once posted, they can be freely used by others. I’d like to be the one who controls that.
As for posting pictures of your children, be VERY careful. They’ll go to your friends, but the friends of your friends may not be careful about who has access. That child molester may be able to identify your child on the way home from school. Or a non-custodial parent may be getting information about where the child may be taken away when you post about upcoming events, dance recitals, school activities, etc. We had that occur at work just recently. Fortunately, in our case, the police got there in time to keep the non-custodial parent from abducting the child.
How much do you want the general public’s nose inserted into your private life? It’s just another thing to think about.
Lynne says
I only post pictures of things (sunsets, flowers, buildings) and if a person is in it, I won’t post it. My so-called friends get mad when I won’t let them take my picture but the world doesn’t need to know where I am. They post everything they do online and then they wonder why they get hacked. They are all 60+ so old enough to know better.
FarmGirl says
I loathe the invasion of privacy in the digital age. I only post on FB a few times a year and of those posts only a couple contain pictures. Of those with pictures, I have asked for permission from those people. And anyone that posts a picture of me on FB I call, and ask them to remove it. It’s rude. If I wanted my picture on the internet, then I would put it on there. My family is awful about documenting everything on FB. For crying out loud who cares what everyone else is doing.
Deb k says
I agree with the comments so far. It seems invasive and rude to take pictures, and especially to make them public without permission by putting them on the internet, but I know many people do it. When I was a kid, adults used to teach us it was not acceptable to do something we knew was wrong just because everyone else was doing it, but showing you were raised with good manners doesn’t seem to be around much anymore. Sigh.
As far as invading others privacy because they are out “in public”, that seems risky to me. Who knows what the next rationalization will be for the next type of privacy invasion. Better to just show some manners and get permission.
Angela D. says
Ditto! I am always made to feel defensive when I ask someone to please take down a photo of myself and my family that was posted without permission…..and it has been suggested that I need to relax my position because “everyone is doing this; it’s the world we live in.”
Tracy says
I’m not overly self conscious about the way I look. I’m not anti-social. But! I have no interest in being in your candid photos, being asked to take a selfie with you or being included in your videos. Period. When I’m with a bunch of people and the phones are snapping, I just step out of frame. And no, I’m not interested in being cajoled to get back in the picture! Keep your phones to yourself, please!
Rita says
Yes I do long for the days when privacy was a respected thing.
Jamie says
I’m not big into posting on Facebook, but I look through everyone else’s post often. I make it a point to NEVER post pictures that have other people’s children in them. Yes Susie looked adorable making cookies at my house, but I can just privately text it to her mother if I really feel the need take a pic and share it.
Almost all my posts have plants in them or objects. I over share enough talking in person. Does everyone really need to know every detail of my life? I’m not that interesting! I’m also surprised how much sharing there is of things like injuries, or sickness. Do I need to see pics of blood and guts, or told you’ve been constipated or had diarrhea for days?
My mom gives the impression she’s a private detective when she visits. She tries to sneak pictures of everyone and it makes us all uncomfortable. Does she really need a pic of my backside or of my mouth as I take a bite of food?
I really try to enjoy the moment now. Take ONE picture and put the camera away.
Maria says
I have repeatedly asked my coworkers to not post photos with me lurking in the background online, and yet there they are. It drives me crazy, especially the part where my opinions of myself in photos are completely invalidated.
Brianna says
I don’t have a social media account for many reasons, but it upsets me when people tell me I need one or take pictures of my children or I. I had to sign a paper with my kids school to opt out of them posting pictures of my children. Seriously? It should be the other way around. I have been to a park with my kids and watched a guy taking photos of the kids coming down the slide, as I watched him I realized he was taking pictures only of young girls and he did not even have a child at the park. I’m sure he used the pictures for his own purpose or uploaded them to some sick website, but is it illegal? I promptly left with my children and alerted other parents of the guy taking random pictures of little girls as they came down the slide. Just like my children having a clean credit score to start adulthood off with, I believe they should also have privacy from social media and a clean slate without a bunch of pictures of them in cyberspace to start adulthood off with. I try to avoid people’s phone cameras as much as possible to protect myself and my family. I don’t trust what others would do with those pictures and there is no control or rights.
Lissa says
I avoid social media. Period. Problem solved.
Vylotte says
When I take a candid shot, I show it to my friend / family / whomever and say “Mind if I post this?” They can veto it if they don’t like how they look. Plus not everyone wants to broadcast where they are or what they’re doing, for many possible reasons. It’s just polite to ask first.
If it’s out in public, I ask if it’s easy but honestly, if you’re doing it out in public, it’s public property. I’m not a jerk though, I wouldn’t post something unflattering. Golden rule and all.
Lisa Millar says
The comments here were really interesting to read. I was particularly interested because I take a LOT of photos – not with a phone tho.
The people I spend time with know that photos will probably end up on facebook, but they are all good with this, (I check) plus I make sure not to post anything unflattering.
My niece went through a ‘no photos of me’ stage which was fine of course. Now she wants the photos put up again 🙂
I think I am regarded as the resident photographer and friends & family have enjoyed getting some nice shots.
I don’t often – if ever – post childrens photos and never without the parents permission or the childs permission if they are old enough to understand. Mostly I will private message those.
I have had some dodgy photos of me posted and tagged… I haven’t gotten bent out of shape about it, but they weren’t ones I would have chosen!
Privacy settings on your facebook accounts are key – and tagging approval is a good idea. Its also polite and thoughtful to ask or know if people want their photos posted.
We live a long way (continents in some cases) from most family and friends, so being able to see photos of them via social media is fantastic and I know my close friends and family enjoy seeing whats going on in our part of the world too.
Amy says
I always ask for permission before taking photos. It is a respect issue.
And I post nothing. My photos are for my family’s and my memories and to be treasured or deleted/burned 🙂
I like how you respect other people’s privacy on your blog Mavis and avoid showing your family and friends’ faces unless they want them shown. Thank you.
Louise says
I spent years working in a criminal law firm and some reports I read during that time made me very cautious about posting pics of kids, so I regularly makr sure that my privacy settings are at the max. Between pics of me and my kids, I often untag and have to say something to friends about it. Frankly, it’s scary to me how few people think about where the pictures they post are going, they’re just addicted to posting.
E in Upstate NY says
Used to work in broadcasting. If we didn’t have a signed release from ALL in the picture/video, it wasn’t used. Period. If under 21, release was signed by parent/guardian.
Which brings me to modern day news people. Who ever thought that asking “How do you feel about XYZ” is an appropriate question to ask? A reporter would get grounded if that was the low quality of questions asked.