Unless you’re just tuning in, you know we recently sold the HOA house. So naturally, the obvious question becomes, what’s next? But to just jump ahead and blurt it all out, well, it just doesn’t feel right to me. So instead I thought I’d go back to the beginning {this week and part of next}, with the help of some seriously dated photographs, and revisit all the homes we’ve lived in over the past 25 years. A kind of, I don’t know, how did we get to where we are today kind of series.
Starting, with our first apartment. 😉
I was 19, he was 24 and after knowing each other for a WHOPPING 6 weeks, one night we were sitting down with a map in front of us when I closed my eyes, swirled my index finger in the air and placed it on the map. I opened my eyes and what do you know… Cheyenne, Wyoming. I remember saying at the time “Hmmm. I wonder if they have a college there?”
I was supposed to be headed off to Indiana State University in a few weeks but at the ripe old age of 19, I fell for the guy behind the pizza counter.
I quickly applied to the University of Wyoming, and just like that, we loaded up our cars with everything we owned {clothing, stereo equipment, tv/vcr and cameras} and took off on our own adventure.
We had zero furniture, or linens, not even a pillow and to be totally honest, I don’t even think it occurred to us that we would need them. But hey, we had a paper map and a little cash, so what more could we possibly need?
We rolled into Laramie, Wyoming in the late afternoon, checked into a motel, grabbed a bite to eat and picked up the local newspaper. If I remember correctly, there were 2 furnished places available to rent in our price range {$300 a month}. So we decided to drive by both of them and take a look. The first place was in a trailer park next to the railroad tracks. And the second, was a ground floor apartment in the back of a triplex at the end of a dead end street of homes.
We chose the ground floor apartment.
{Our first Thanksgiving. With a chicken because we couldn’t afford a turkey.}
The 1 bedroom apartment came with a kitchen table, 2 chairs, a couch, 2 arm chairs, and a mattress on the bedroom floor {no box spring}. There may have been a lamp, but I’m not 100% sure about that. The apartment didn’t come with any curtains, so we hung up sheets to cover the windows and our dishes, silverware and 2 cooking pots came from the dollar section at the grocery store.
{Our first Christmas}
The carpet was a dark orange shag and during the entire 10 months we were living there, didn’t get cleaned once. We didn’t own a vacuum {or apparently didn’t feel the need to buy one} and yes, we wore shoes in the house.
Now if that doesn’t make you want to make you gag, I don’t know what would.
We spent almost all our spare time at the library or climbing the rocks at Vedauoo. I remember a road trip to Fort Collins, Colorado and one back to Washington state to visit my grandparents. But for the most part, we just stayed close to that tiny apartment.
The entire time we lived there, it was hand to mouth, and yet, it really wasn’t that big of a deal to us at the time.
Life, it was just so much simpler back then. 😉
~Mavis
P.S. How about YOU? Do you remember your first place? Wasn’t being out on your own for the first time the best thing ever?
More stories in this series:
- The First Apartment
- The First Mobile Home
- The First House
- The First Home in a Suburban Development
- The House with the Hardwood Floors
- The First House We Built
- The House Where This All Started
- The HOA House
Paula says
He was 23, fresh from 2 tours of Nam. I was 21, owned a tiny hair salon, in a trendy part of our city. I rent an upper flat which was located behind another house. It was the only block on the street that couldn’t get renters insurance, cause it was to dangerous. Lol
Lynn says
I’m still in our first place. We can seem to get away from it. LOL
Carolina says
Can’t wait for the next chapter of your story. My first apartment, was at age 20. My spouse at the time was 22 and he was just out of college. He got a job as a reporter at this home town newspaper & we rented a one bedroom apartment for $65 a month (unfurnished) over a local drug store. It was 1965, and for sure it was a simpler time!!! By the way, I sure see why you call HH the handsome husband. He sure is that!!!
Julie P says
Thank you for sharing. This takes me back to Our first place. We had a bit of everything as I had a collected what we call in the U.K. a ‘bottom drawer’ stash when I left home so we had bed linen but it was chocolate brown sheets with bottle green pillowcases I had made out of a sheet and a duvet cover which I had bought in the sales for a £1 because the side seam hadn’t caught. Nothing matched but it seemed as you say less important then. We bought our first house together but didn’t get married and both sets of parent were appalled! So funny looking back. Someone gave us a sofa I brought my bed from home which was a third hand double, we coped!
Peg says
How funny! I live in Cheyenne. Days like today remind me regularly why people don’t stay here.
Wendy Clark says
I am so excited about this series of post Mavis. And yes, I so remember being 21 and newly married and we didn’t care about anything except being together. We lived in a tiny two three room apartment and although we did start out with dishes, linens, cooking pans, etc (only because my mom’s friends gave us a very nice wedding shower), I only had eyes for him and the fact that we were together and we lived together and were going to live together forever! Young love is so wonderful!
Kristina says
We married young, me at 21 and my husband 23. My grandmother moved into assisted living right before we got married, so we hit the jackpot with furnishings. We were graduate students with a house furnished like someone’s grandparents. Among all of the teaching assistants,’ homes, ours was the place for the parties because we had so much furniture to sit on. Plus, a silver tea set, which we actually used. We still have all that furniture 30 years later, though several times reupholstered, and some of it has migrated to our cabin. Thanks grandma!
Laura says
Love that you still treasure those things.Your grandma is no doubt pleased about that!
Susan Wachendorfer says
What does HOA house stand for?
Mavis Butterfield says
Home Owners Association
Cindi says
Oh, this is so much fun. Brought back lots of memories for me. We were 19 (me) and 23 (him) — and yes, we got engaged after knowing each other only six weeks. Married when we had known each other 6 months. (And that was 38 years ago). We lived in a single-wide trailer that came furnished, on 1 acre in the woods in East Texas that we made payments on. I still have the little ledger where I wrote down everything we spent the first year we were married. We had nothing, but it didn’t matter. We had food and shelter and each other and every day was an adventure. We didn’t think we had to have everything all at once — we were young and had a lot to look forward to and work toward.
Tammy says
Looking forward to reading this blog series!
My husband and I got married in 2000, and our first apartment was a small (500 square feet) apartment we were thrilled to get for $925/month. It was in the Bay Area, and most apartments had months-long waiting lists but through word of mouth we got the apartment!
It had the smallest kitchen, but lots of cabinet space. A tiny bathroom but a big linen closet in the hallway. A fair-sized bedroom and a huge walk-in closet. In fact, in all the places we’ve lived since, we have not had such a large closet than our first apartment! LOL Ancient kitchen appliances – the oven threw sparks three feet out one morning when I opened it. Thankfully I didn’t get hurt!
Anna says
I’m also a “U-Dub” grad of the cowboy state variety. My share of the rent on a 3 bed townhouse with one roommate was roughly $200 back in the late ’90’s. No awesome orange shag carpet though. 😉 The weather extremes were so crazy (@ least in Sheridan). On my graduation day in May it was snowing hard in the morning and 70F by the afternoon! Congrats on the sale of your HOA home and enjoy your new adventure!
Kim says
Funny! Small world! We’re also UW grads and there around the same time frame. We had pea green worn down shaggy carpet in our first place, though. 🙂 Lots of good climbing at Vedauwoo!
Pat says
We were 17 and 18 and I had just started my senior year of HS. My husbands father had died tragically right after we started dating and he was determined to sign up on the buddy system to go to Vietnam. I couldn’t let him go so we got married. As an only child I had to convince my parents it was a good thing. They knew it wouldn’t last so it was a no frills wedding. It’s been 49+ years and on our anniversary I always look to heaven with a smile. My HH made $68 a wk. working 2 jobs. Rent was $98. We had envelopes we divided cash in each week for specific bills. Furniture from my folks basement. Their first passed to us! Two great showers but at one we got sterling silver items which we never used. It was the best time of our married lives.
Carrie says
In 2010 after graduating from college I moved to the town my boyfriend was from and currently working there. We rented an apt. for $400/month plus utilities. We had hand me down furniture and kitchen items but we did buy a mattress (that we kept on the floor). I love the simple times but I don’t miss the downstairs neighbor’s cigarette smoke and the annoying neighbor who would be waiting for me to get home nearly every day. I needed space from other people, a yard and a dog!
We are still together and own a house in the city I am from. I love our “new” home.
Brianna says
I was 19 when I met my hubby and he was 24. We each had our own apartments in different states (he was in HI and I was in OR), got married at 21 and 26, but didn’t live together until 18 Months later. Our first place together was a 2 bedroom 2 bath house because we didn’t want to share walls. It was in Sierra Vista, AZ in an HOA and right next door to the fire station. We had mostly my stuff from my first apartment…a desk and chair, 2 book cases, dining table with 4 chairs, a bakers rack, and a queen bed. No bedroom furniture, no living room furniture. The kitchen was also furnished by my college days with a few hand me downs. We sat on the floor for the longest time with an old tube tv sitting on a plastic tote to watch movies. He finally got a nice reenlistment bonus and we quickly spent it on a covered cargo trailer (for the next upcoming move so we didn’t need Uhaul), a sectional couch with 2 recliners, a washer and dryer, and a lot of road trips and dining out and impulsive buys. It was spent so fast! We also shared one SUV for several years (2005-2010) I’d have to wait a lot and juggle my schedule around his. We just sold that SUV in July!
Marcia says
Ah what a sweet story.
I remember all of MY first places in college and then in the Navy. We started dating in the Navy, so I spent a lot of time at his place, even though I had my own. And no, I never vacuumed either. He would bring his vacuum over and felt like it was awesome because you could TOTALLY see where you vacuumed.
We didn’t actually move in together and combine households until I got out of the Navy. So our first combo apartment, we were actually 27 and 29, though we’d started dating at 22 and 24.
Leslie says
19 and got my first furnished apartment in a complex across the street from campus. It was a place full of students and party central. My apartment was a pit. I hated cleaning and still didn’t really understand how to do my own laundry. Took a few years (and my second apartment) to start figuring that stuff out. I watched too much TV and spent too much time on the internet. And drank a ton of pop. Gosh, how did I not gain 100 pounds?
Rachel says
Oh my gosh. I live in Cheyenne (not from here, married a local boy) and I think it’s the worst place on planet earth. Though Veedawou is fun hiking. I’m actually from the PNW and have read your blog for YEARS so this did make me smile that you at least know my pain 🙂
KC says
I also thoroughly enjoyed the “start at the bottom, enjoy working your way across/up” scheme to married housing. With one caveat, though: if you live somewhere where you can’t sleep in the summer without AC, spring for the AC. We went for a fan and swamp cooling system for two summers, but honestly, the savings on stress, crankiness, brain-dead decisions, and arguments (that would have not existed without sleep-deprivation crankiness) would have been worth the cash cost of real AC…
Otherwise, though, many of the flaws in various housing establishments made for good marital camaraderie at the time as we tried to fix things or work around them, and then good stories later. Not all the flaws, but many, anyway.
Key to that, though, is having people around who are also doing the same thing and committed to being good sports about it rather than dissolving into a morass of pity and despair – it’s harder to enjoy what you do have when people are saying how *awful* everything is, and who avert their eyes in shame rather than being entertained by, uh, creative furniture combinations. I don’t know how we’d have done it if the people close to us were holding up an unrealistic standard of housing perfection, without which one was supposed to be terribly discontent – there are lots of things that work well as a mutual adventure that would not work well if they were theoretically mere deprivation/inadequacy.
Nan says
OMG so you moved across country with your BF after a short time LOL? As a parent, I’d been having a fit but guess you asked for nothing. Who paid for college? I can remember our first apartment very well- I graduated from college at age 21, got a teaching job, and we moved to a small furnished place while 22 year old husband finished up his BA. It was $90 a month- 1969! Husband attended morning classes and worked part time from 1-6 and I took the bus because we just had 1 car and he needed it. Soon he graduated and his career took us to 6 different states.
Lace Faerie says
We started dating right after I turned 18. We are the same age. We dated long distance because my family moved 6 hours away in another state 1 month after we started dating. We married at 21, after I moved back to our home town, living with my grandmother for 6 months before the wedding. One month before we married he moved into our first apartment with a box of canned food crossing the threashold first, at my grandmother’s insistence, so we’d never go hungry. Unfortunately, neither of us thought to buy a can opener. I think he lived on Kmart deli pressed ham sandwiches made on hamburger buns. I think it was $1 for 6 sandwishes. Yuck. We acquired things slowly but as we were the first to marry on both sides of the family, wedding and shower gifts were generous. Our first household purchase was a Kenmore canister vacuum with our first tax return, 9 months after we wed. Ick. Life was good.
Lace Faerie says
My first wifely purchase was 2 weeks worth of his underwear. He came with 3 pairs as his mother did laundry daily. We went a wee bit longer between visits to the laundromat.
KC says
That’s hilarious! And absolutely, *no* on daily laundromat visits…
Cindi says
LOL — I remember going through my husband’s things as we unpacked right after we married and making a huge pile of absolutely disgracefully holey underwear and socks to be discarded.
Julie says
Oh gawd! Rings back to the two weeks we lived at his parent’s house right after was got married – his mother cleaned everything daily. EVERYTHING. I HID my dirty clothes and she’d *still* find them and wash them. Every. Day. He owned three pairs of jeans, a few shirts and maybe what equals one pack of socks and underwear (which always fell apart from the inhumane amount of bleach she used)!
In her house – Use a dish. Wash it. Dry the sink. Put the dish away. Put the towel in the laundry.
Every dish.
Every time.
Makes me CRAZY!
Lilypad says
I lived with my parents all through college (to save $$), so I didn’t move out on my own till after I graduated from the University of Washington. I worked in Innsbruck, Austria that summer so my first place was a couple of rooms in an old house on a tree-lined street, with the streetcar rolling by every once in a while. It had a tiny kitchenette and my landlady had put a few things out for me: coffee, bread and strawberry jam. She was so kind. Whenever I eat strawberry jam, I think of her. The scenery there, in the middle of the Alps, is extraordinary and the people are so friendly. It was a wonderful time in my life.
Deborah says
My first apartment was a two bedroom, one bath. I was 16, he was 18. 10 years, and 3 children later we divorced. Catching your spouse in a hotel room isn’t a pleasant thing. With my hubby now, we lived in a 2 bedroom. And between us, ha 5 children. All but two were grown and gone. Our bedroom was in the living room.
Aunt G says
Mavis were you married at the time?
Margie Hudgins says
Get a grip Aunt G. Who cares? Life is good, if you let it be.
Marty T says
Jeez! Dude chill! It’s a legit question.
Marcia says
I’m pretty sure the answer is no, based on her second post in the series.
I didn’t “live” with my hubby before we married. I mean, I had my own apartment, which was basically used for storage. It meant I couldn’t win! My conservative family said I was living in sin, and my married friends didn’t think it counted as living together because I had my own place to go to.
Mel says
I feel like these comments could be used to create a list of housewarming gift ideas. Vacuums seem to top the list!
Our first apartment together was a train wreck due to the terrible jobs we had at the time. We combined households, so we had doubles of many things but not much time in our schedules to sit down and sort through it all. An awful floor plan and poor maintenance by the apartment complex compounded the issue. By the time we bought our first (also our current and hopefully forever) house, we had experienced black mold and mice running over us as we slept. Thankfully, we have better jobs now, so we jettisoned tons of stuff in the move, and I spend lots of time cleaning and keeping it nice.
Torry says
My husband and I met when we were both in the Army. He was a wounded combat infantryman, recently returned from Viet Nam and I was a Chaplain’s assistant. We knew each other less that 6 months when we married in 1971. He was 24 and I was 20 when we married. I was still in the Army, but he was out. So for the first two months, he lived in Queens while I live in the barracks at Ft. Dix, NJ. I’d join him on weekends and then finally when I got out of the Army. We lived in a one bedroom, 4th floor walk up apartment. It was a very nice place and was just two blocks from the elevated line. If you walked one block to Queensborough Blvd. and turned right, you were looking at Manhattan. And you could see the Empire State Building! We paid $77.00 a month for the first few months, with the understanding that if the rent control board approved the increase, we would be paying $130 a month and would have to pay the difference for the months we’d already lived there. However, our landlords didn’t make us pay the back rent! We were so touched!
Valerie Barbeau says
My first appartment still stands and is across the street from where I live now. It was back in 1986, I could not stand living at my Mom’s anymore because of all the drinking….it was a half furnished 1 1/2 in an old synagogue with a fridge that didn’t refrigerate, a robin’s egg blue stove that wasn’t grounded so every time I would touch it with wet hands I got an electric shock, cockroaches, mice and very noisy neighbors! But I was 20 and I was free of my Mom’s bullshit.
I didn’t have a phone and would go outside to the phone booth to call people….
Mel says
Oh, man. I had completely forgotten the awful appliances side of things. We had a dishwasher that broke whole sets of glasses because it wasn’t anchored. We had to drink exclusively from Mason jars. Our bathrooms were also permanently rusted, and our stove had one working burner.
Vicki in Birmingham says
YES! Being out on my own was absolutely the best thing ever! I had a wonderful home life and a happy childhood, but there is NOTHING like independence and freedom and feeling so grown up when you are on your own!!!
Carol B. says
Mavis – I Love this and can’t wait to hear more about your story. What an adorably sweet couple you were! I live in the PNW (Lake Tapps area) and I’m excited to see where you guys choose to live next. Hmmm…. 🙂
Carolina says
From everything I have read here over the years, I think their plan is to move to New England.
Vivian says
He was 21 and I was 20. Our first meal was canned split pea soup and burned toast! That was as good a cook as I was at that time. He lost 20 pounds that first year and didn’t need to lose weight! Our first apartment was a hole in the wall behind the doctor’s office where I worked and it was $90 a month! Exorbitant! He had a rescue owl that creeped me out and a spider in a jar. We had a tiny refrigerator that opened from the top and we had to shop every day. No room for a kitchen table, but I did bring my bedroom set that I had gotten when I was 15. We still have it…we have been married for 57 1/2 years!
Deb Hicks says
Our first apartment was a 3-room furnished English basement that a friend told us about. He happened to live next door, which is also where we held our wedding receptiion/hippie party after getting married earlier that day at city hall. We didn’t last very long there – from July to the end of Novmber just before our first son was born. While it had everything we needed at the time, it also had some things we didn’t anticipate…mice and spiders. So many spiders, in fact, that I had my first ever nightmare that still creeps me out to this day 47 years later! It was about a plastic tarrantula crawling up the wall that I was afraid was going to fall on me while sleeping (cuz it was plastic after all). Thankfully we were able to find a two bedroom in time before the baby’s arrival that was on the second floor sans mice and spiders….
Margery says
My first place happened overnight, during the Gulf War my cousin was called to active duty and he called me to move into his place. So that weekend at 19 I moved out if my mom’s and into my cousins apartment which was owned by my Uncle. Two bedroom, kitchen, basement, living room, and bathroom on the third floor. Cost me 150 a month. Lived there for a while and then I moved across the street into another apartment owned by my Uncle that cost 175 a month ( It had two bathrooms one in what was a coat closet but on the first floor) Lived in that one with my newborn son, met by husband, got married and stayed their until we bought our first house just a few months after our daughter was born.
Julie says
Both in Phoenix, attended the same high school and lived a neighborhood apart, yet never met until we were barely 19 (me) and 23. We’d know each other from the 8th of October (which was a few days after my birthday) to getting married on the 1st of November, same year. I lived with him and his parents for two weeks before he proposed and we lived there, married, for two weeks after.
Our 1st apartment was on the 3rd floor, 500sqft. We did have a vacuum 😉 After he could no longer work a full-time job because of his hospital stays and permanent disability, he and I worked cleaning scummy, drug/cockroach/maggot-riddled turn-key apartments for $50 a pop. *shudder*
Our next place was in a small town, faaaar from city life: a 40-y-o mobile home with mice in the ceiling and tiny, little mouse skeletons in the back of the stove!! The biggest cockroaches I’ve STILL ever seen. The winter we couldn’t afford to heat it (SE Arizona), so we tried to do without to cut costs. Come to find out the ladylady was averaging the heating bills from the entire trailer parks and charging us all a flat rate…even those of us who weren’t using our furnace!
We had a grubby old couch from a yard sale and clumsy, 1970’s matching bedroom set we used throughout the house (chest or drawers held the T.V. – night stands were end tables).
I still use the electric hand mixer we were gifted from my MIL’s church ladies group. My high school buddy gave me a folding table we kept forever!
Still the best times of our young lives. I miss the simple times. The forced minimalist lifestyle that you didn’t even really notice. Collecting pocket change for two weeks to go the the dollar theater and get dollar snacks. Taking the city bus everwhere on my own (didn’t drive till I was 26).
Thanks for the trip down memory lane… will be 22 years this November. And they said it wouldn’t last! HA!!!