Read an article recently about how recent generations are turning the family heirloom passage tradition up on its head. They don’t want their parent stuff. As a push for minimalism sweeps the nation, many kids are passing on their parent’s fine china, or the cupboard of antiques that grandma has been holding onto for them. I remember the estate sale I went to a few months ago and the mass quantities of stuff that was being sold. Clearly the family they left behind had no interest in it.
Makes me sad a bit, but I completely understand. There are maybe 5 things I’d love to have from my parent’s home. Remember that time I helped my mom clean out her storage closet? There’s not much there that holds a ton of meaning for me. I’m not a saver of junk either. But even if I was, I think my kids would feel the same way as I do. I can’t imagine there is anything beyond a few basic, useful-if-they-don’t-have-it-already items they would want. I could be wrong, but my kids are like me: not the collector type.
What do you think? Would you want the passed down china or the antique coffee table? Do you think your kids will want what you’re holding onto for them? What are you holding onto for them?
~Mavis
Peggy says
I like old stuff, S&H stamps for at our local grocery store, the blue and white Revolutionary/Early America dishes with images of Betsy Ross and George Washington and country scenes. I use them for Thanksgiving and Christmas but have them displayed in an old corner curio cabinet that my sister and I rescued off the sidewalk when neighbors of hers were remodeling. 🙂 I look at them and give a little smile sometimes, because I remember how she saved and saved for every place setting. But they are used and displayed, so they are also functional. I do agree on functionality, but so did my mom, but I have far too many ‘things’, which I am getting rid of bit by bit. 🙂
Peggy says
Okay, I lost part of that first sentence! I have my moms dishes she saved for with s and h stamps! They were our china. 🙂
Nora says
No. I don’t want most of the stuff. I’ve tried convincing my mother that I have no use for things like my 3rd grade science project.
I am interested in photo’s, letters, recipes, my grand father’s purple heart, the tea cups my grandfather bought for my grandmother, while he was deployed, blankets my grandmother made, vintage kitchen-aid mixer, a few baking dishes.
Olivia says
I love family heirlooms. I have an entire china hutch bursting with heirlooms from both sides of the family. My parents have pieces in their home that were in my grandparents’ homes and I love that my children and I can look at the same piece of furniture and I’ll think, “That’s where grandpa kept his pipes.” And my kids will think, “That’s where grandpa kept his coin collection.” Maybe one day my grandkids will see that same cabinet and think, “That’s where Grandma kept her cookie jar.” Anything that has a purpose and will fit in my house, I’m all for keeping.
erin in ia says
I’m with you mavis, if it doesn’t serve a purpose it’s out. I do have a few items I took from grandma’s that carry memories but they are still functional everyday things. Sometimes I’m offered something from my other grandma that I don’t really want and take it anyway so I don’t hurt her feelings. It just goes in the donate box when I get home
Mary Ann says
If you don’t want it, tell her so and don’t take it. Maybe it’s something that really means something to her and she wants to be sure it stays in the family.
Lace Faerie says
I agree with Mary Ann, don’t take it if you don’t want it. I would be more hurt to find out someone took my offered things and disposed of it than I would be by a decline. At least then I’d be able to offer it to someone who would love to have it!
chantal says
It’s true, I held an estate sale for my great aunt’s estate last summer in Bellingham. Tables full of expensive cut crystal, hand painted china, vintage hand tatted lace tablecloths, and rooms full of high quality items. Priced everything at 20% of eBay prices and we sold a quarter of what she had. All of the leftovers were packed up and donated to Goodwill. Nobody seems to want or has room for their relatives items.
I personally that have greatly reduced the amount of possessions that I own and my adult kids don’t want my stuff either. So off to Goodwill it goes 🙂
Joanna says
I do want some of my mom’s things, and my daughter has expressed interest in a few too! We were a military family, lived away from extended family, and moved a lot, so I feel I don’t have a foundation of “this is where I come from”. I think my mom’s and my grandmother’s things help me have that connection to the family I saw only every 3-4 years (my mom has stories of living down the street from her cousins).
Karen says
I was once the one where everyone stuff ended up. I have since started to get rid of thing and try to just keep one or two small items from each relative. My daughter didn’t know or doesn’t remember these people so I am not sure what she will do when she gets older…. she is only 11 now. I have ashes from our family pets as well as my sisters ashes….. I have told my husband to just mix us all together if something ever happens. I do need to start getting rid of things that don’t hold as much meaning.
Mary says
I love having things from my grandparents and great grandparents, but only things that I use, it makes me happy every time I make a pie with my grandmothers pastry cutter and my great grandmothers rolling pin, and now my kids in turn LOVE using them and asking questions about people they never met. The one thing I wanted from my grandmas house was her citrus juicer, mostly because I helped her make so much lemonade from her lemon tree as a kid… but decor items I have no interest in.
Katie says
Two close relatives recently died unexpectedly. The only thing of theirs I wanted was an everyday melamine bowl. I remember that bowl on the table at every family dinner, filled with something they brought over to share. Keep the crystal that comes out once a year, this bowl is the kind of stuff I want.
Bridget P says
I would have loved things from my grandma and my mom. The relative that handled my grandma’s estate ended up giving me items that I did not associate with my grandma and my brother rented a huge dumpster Nd threw away almost All of my mom’s things! If it were not for a neighbor that saw some film reels in that dumpster I would not have a recording of my first birthday!
Lynn says
I am a decluttering maniac (it’s a constant progression) and I am definitely a minimalist, but the things that have sentimental value (wedding rings, etc) and things that were real treasures for my family (china and silver) I struggle with when considering their future. I don’t think they will ever hold the meaning to anyone else that they have held for me. It’s sad, but as I told my friend while antiquing a few weeks ago, “Someone like us is going to LOVE all our cool stuff one day”, and I’m good with that!
Cheri says
We are a fairly sentimental family, but we are also pursuing a lifestyle with less stuff. I plan to save everything my kids might want or that they ask me to save (like old toys, because we pass these down). However, they are not allowed to pass on my grandfather’s handmade furniture. He was a furniture craftsman after he returned from World War II, and his work is both exquisite and meaningful–probably valuable as well. Our family and relatives do not and will not sell these items, unless we are forced to. We will store them if we can’t use them. This can be hard, because some of the pieces are large, but it is an important part of our family heritage.
Heather says
I try to only keep things from family that have meaning. Certain pieces of furniture or jewelry, a few dolls of my Grandma’s that I loved looking at as little girl, etc. I’m not one to keep stuff for the sake of stuff.
Melinda says
My problem is my parents have an antique (turn of the century) player piano that belonged to my great-grandmother. It’s not in working order and has just functioned as a mantel my entire life. I have a very few memories of it in my greatgrandmother’s house and it being played, but mostly it’s just been sitting there holding the clock and senior pictures. I know I will soon become responsible for it and I’m seriously dreading having to take charge of it. I think it’s a shame to sell it, but in a way it’s also a shame to keep it. I hope to find a museum or someplace to take it so I know that it will be appreciated and restored.
Sea says
I’ve been in this situation: ever since my beloved dad passed away, my mother keeps trying to get me to take lots of his things: photos, mementos, etc.! Not that she doesn’t want it, but there’s just so much of it! Unfortunately, with 5 of us in my house we already have enough “stuff.” I’ve tried to just take the things that are most meaningful to me, and donate the rest. Sad, but I’m not sure what else you can do.
KarenN says
Of my grandmother’s things, I asked for her sugar bowl (she’d had the same sugar bowl forever, lidless, with a tiny ladle instead of sugar tongs or a tea spoon), a welded-metal art piece that hangs on the wall, and a hope chest, which nobody else wanted and I made good use of at the time. I’m hoping that my dad leaves me his tools from his woodworking shop, because I go over to his house to use them all the time and I’d hate to have to buy my own when he passes on.
Mrs. Z says
My mother tries giving me junk all the time. She gets so emotional when I do not want it. I am 35 so not sure if I am the new generation or not. My husbands is the same and he refuses stuff from his dad. I dont keep much of my kids stuff either. They are not going to want to have the story they wrote in second grade. I did take china but I use it a few times a year and love seeing it with my tea cups in hutch. Seriously who has a large enough house just to store all this stuff?
Jane says
My kids are 29 and 26, and they LOVE being able to read the stories they wrote in second grade. I didn’t save all their school papers, but I saved enough to help them remember who they were back then. And I get to remember with them.
Vicki in Birmingham says
Jane, I read that if you want to keep papers from your children’s childhood, you should take a digital photo of them and make an album or scrapbook. Makes sense, although is just isn’t quite the same thing!, is it? But something to consider anyway
Lisa says
I told my daughter she wasn’t getting any inheritance money but she will get one heck of a Waterford collection!!
Shari says
As a 55 year old woman, who’s decor is Early American/Late Relative, I’ve seen both sides of the issue. Family size has had a lot to do with it. Both of my grandmothers had 6 children. Added to that is the fact that my grandparents just didn’t have that much to begin with. The families divided up everything with each descendant taking a relatively small amount. My mother has 3 children, only 2 girls. Given that my sister-in-law will want her mother’s heirlooms, that will leave my sister and me to deal with most that stuff. Fortunately my mom is still around. She doesn’t know it yet, but that creepy doll collection is going straight to auction! I have two children, a daughter and a son. I understand that they are not going to want be saddled with all of the possessions that we have been accumulating for 35 years. They understand that while they are welcome to anything that we have, they are not required to keep it for the rest of their lives. Especially that weird hunk of charred timber that my hubby proudly brought home from the last family reunion. He will NEVER go to another family reunion alone…..
renay says
HA! Charred timber!!!
Tiffany says
Since I am the only child living in the same city, I had my sisters (and myself) write down exactly what they wanted. Very little on the lists as we’ve all got families and homes of our own. Then I presented to my parents (mostly mom) and said get rid of the rest. They’ve downsized once from a 3 bedroom home to a 2 bedroom apartment. Now they want to go to a 1 bedroom so more must go! Trying to declutter my place as it is – maybe 1 day I’ll be as good as you Mavis! I don’t need any more stuff!
Lynne says
I cherish the few items that I have from my grandparents, and things that belonged to my parents. I love knowing the story behind the stuff, and frankly, I do like stuff. However, I’m about the age of your parents. When my sister passed away a couple of years ago, I was surprised how few of her things her son wanted. As I’ll be leaving what I have to him (I don’t have children), I have started weeding out and paring down. Not leaving boxes, stuffed closets and piles of stuff is a great gift to those you leave behind. But I’m keeping things (even just decorative things) that give me pleasure. I’ve also started documenting as many of the things I’m keeping as I can, telling what I know about it, where it came from, who owned it, things like that. I will be surrounded by things that I love for now, and he can decide what he wants to keep, sell, donate or toss with at least some understanding of the backstory that might be of interest to him and his children.
Emily E. says
Lynne, what a really neat idea! The backstory on your items is a bit of a treasure in itself. I think knowing the story of an item may influence whether or not an item is kept. Thanks for the idea!
Robyn says
I’m dealing with similar issues- my mom had so many lovely antiques but none of my siblings has room for much more stuff. We were able to find homes for most of it luckily. I have lots of old China ,silver antique furniture etc and neither of my daughters are interested in it. The pendulum swings though. Right now mid- century modern is the “in” look, and perhaps my grandchildren will love my antiques when they have their own homes. I’m hoping so !
Tammy says
I’m one of nine kids (the oldest). When my parents die they really don’t have much that I would be interested in having in my home – and I am not going to get into any sort of fight for their belongings with my siblings! Hopefully my parents have many more years to live!
Susie says
Interesting! I would take all my mom’s stuff, she has good taste and keeps what she likes. My mother in law… That’s a different story! They keep everything! I am not sure who is in charge when they die! At least they have lots of kids to decide. I only keep things I want/use. I have been buying things that I know will last my lifetime so hopefully my kids might get them someday because they are good quality.
Carrie Council says
My maternal grandparents both passed when I was 7 so I don’t have many memories of them but I do remember their house and some of the items in it. I cherish a small ceramic kitten that use to sit in the window of the living room. I use to look at it while we waited on the porch to come inside. It’s probably not worth anything but I love it and she makes a good bookend. 🙂 I also have their bedroom furniture and my Papa’s coin collection.
I have my great grandmothers apron that she hand-sewed and her kitchen tools (hand mixer, peeler, potato masher) that I’d like to display in the kitchen somehow.
I’m not sure what I will keep of my mom and dad’s when they pass. Everything from the 80s to today is so disposable and cheap. Most of the things I want from my moms house are other family heirlooms that she was given like a pie safe, wash stand and many thermometers that my stepdad has collected. My mom was crafty in the 80’s so I’ll keep a ceramic Christmas tree she painted that she still uses. I actually use a tree skirt she sewed for her and my dad’s first tree.
My step grandmother (who has been my grandma for 25 years) is not doing well. She has been in good spirits but is ready to go. She began downsizing a long time ago and now lives in the basement at my aunts. She started labeling things to give people. I have my name on two big painted ceramic chickens. lol I love them. Maybe I have a thing for ceramic animals? 😉
I am 30 and live in a smaller house. I also don’t like clutter but like to have meaningful items. I have built in bookcases beside the fireplace that look so great with the few family trinkets I have. I have an old tobacco tin, wrench set, rolling pin, vase and my ceramic kitty all among the books and a few pictures in frames.
Carrie Council says
I know men aren’t as sentimental….so my husband has started requesting vinyl albums from his parents and grandparents. My parents gave us theirs too. Its been really nice to sit and go through the records with them and listen to their favorite songs. I will cherish those memories every time we pull them out to play.
Patty P says
As a kid, we had many of our older relatives pass away. Many of their items were given away, sold at sales, or were taken by family. I have one or two little items from great aunts and great uncles that passed away. When my grandfather passed away, my sister was moving into his house and there was certain things that she did not want, or we asked if we could have them. I have the dining room table and chair set that my grandmother had picked out. It was something I really wanted to hold onto. I also cleaned a bunch of stuff out of his basement (I like old stuff…like canning jars and crocks and other old stuff that people might just get rid of). I also have his red corded wall phone…I always thought it was so cool (even though we haven’t hooked it up yet, I hope to!) When my husband’s grandmother died I really didn’t expect to get anything because her children are still alive, but I was pleasantly surprised when I was given her cross that she had had for years and years. The more amazing part is that my grandfather had a cross just like it that I remember from my childhood….so it’s almost a two for one memory piece! I already have the pieces that I wanted from my grandmother (she insisted that I take them so that they didn’t get lost)–and they are actually pieces that her mother had left to her. I also have my great grandmother’s ruby engagement ring that was given to me because I was the oldest grandchild. There are one or two things that belong to my parents that I might want when they pass on…mostly family pictures or my great-grandfather’s fiddle that he used to play at square dances in town. I try to sort through my own stuff to get rid of “stuff” so that someday, no one has to go through the hassle of getting rid of my stuff.
Diana Smith says
I actually have a number of my parents things that mean a lot to me and my kids have already claimed their favorites. Mom and Dad were painters, potters, weavers so we have a lot of art in our home, both theirs and friends of the families gifts to us. Also have huge library from my parents and my own obsession but my kids adore books, too. They know what they don’t want can go to our sad local library
Earlene says
Isn’t it a sad commentary of our times, we truly are a disposable society. I have several pieces from my grandmother, mother, mother in law and grandmother in law. My adult children treasure these items and know they are welcome anytime to take they now before I die. I would rather see their families enjoy them now! Of course, there are pieces nobody wants, but I do hope they find a good home when the time comes.
bobbi says
I do have my grandmother’s china, it is in mint condition and a full set. I asked my daughter if she wanted and she said yes. I do have the dining set coming to me, but it is pretty old (100 years?) and rickity. There are a few smallw small furniture items too. I use all the old gadgets in cooking too but they are all useful and get to stay. And if my daughter ends up selling the china, good for her. I do love it for its sentimental value to me, but she didn’t even know my grandmother so there is none of that for her. 🙂 The books though, Lord have mercy, we have a TON and I have no idea what will happen to them. A few are valuable, but most are not.
Linda Sand says
From my side of the family we have a picture my mother painted that appeals to me. From my husband’s side of the family we have his grandmother’s settee that is longer than most and comfortable for sitting or sleeping. We choose not to have more than we actually use or admire. When we go, our daughter may take some kitchen stuff as she cooks and bakes but I can’t imagine her wanting anything else we own. OK, maybe a computer. 🙂
Erin says
I don’t think it is so much about being a throwaway society as it is that people live much longer than they used to. When people died in their 40’s and 50’s, their kids were just getting started and really needed and valued the things they could get from their parents. Now people live so long that by the time they pass, their kids already have established homes and belongings and simply don’t have the space or time to care for those things. There is also the issue of every generation having a style all their own. Yes, that antique sideboard may be high quality and well cared for, but if the kids have no need for a sideboard or it doesn’t fit their style, what are they to do with it?
My in-laws gave away everything but their knickknacks when they decided to spend their retirement on the road. Unfortunately there are a lot of knickknacks in storage, but thankfully no furniture or place settings or anything like that. My mom, on the other hand, has kept everything, and it will be quite the task going throught it all. I am 49 and have a long established home. There are a few things I might take and keep from her, but mostly it will be sold/donated.
Brianna says
I feel my parents stuff as a tremendous burden, especially since I am the only surviving child. Closets, drawers, and garages are stuffed, but on the surface the rooms look empty because they squirrel items away. I already have an estate company in mind to handle to sale and I’ve told them what I want and they can get rid of everything else beforehand or I can arrange for an estate sale. I have 3 little kids and depending on ages and stages in life, they will be welcome to select what they want or outfit their apartment with whatever. I unfortunately don’t have anybody to fight with over possessions and nothing will get ugly (my grandparents estate belongings was a feeding frenzy of greedy and selfish cousins and I stayed out of it and had my dad pick me out a teacup). I also am ok telling vultures who come running after my parents die wanting something in particular when the sale date will be. When my brother passed away at 27, the vultures were everywhere and wanting all sorts of stuff and my parents gave away most of his stuff. 2 years after the fact I mentioned to my parents that I didn’t have anything that reminded me of him and they were stunned because in the midst of all of the grief I didn’t swoop in for anything and I was simply overlooked. There wasn’t anything left that I wanted at that point. All is well, I have memories and they don’t take up physical space like possessions.
Connie says
When my grandmother died I got quite a few things esp furniture because I needed it and my parents had enough. When my mom died a few years ago I took some things and my daughters were able to use quite a bit..
I have been decluttering like crazy but have kept family heirlooms. My girls have china and silver from relatives that they use. We are all dish junkies. So much of the silver and crystal would be prohibitive for many to buy at today s prices. I say have less stuff but gave good quality stuff and use it!
Jenny Young says
This is a hard subject for me. My mom was the family record keeper & I inherited treasures dating from the Civil war….lots of treasures. She was also a quilter & in the last 6 yrs of her life while I was caring for her she made around 20 quilts. So much stuff! When she passed away I had 6 file boxes of photographs dating from the Civil War to present day. It was truly overwhelming.
I scanned ALL of the photographs, sorted them into family groups & gave most of them to different family groups. I still have one file box myself but my only son has no idea who these people are. My mom used to pull the pictures out all the time as I was growing up & we loved going through them. The last few years of her life I would sit with her & go through them…making sure they were all labeled. I’ve never once done this with my son…he has no interest.
I have a wooden dough bowl, hand carved by my great-grandfather for his bride in the 1860’s. He was a circuit rider in the Appalachians. I have his saddle bags & Bible. My mom played the organ (I inherited her pedal organ but got rid of it pretty quickly). I have all her song books, around 20. She used to sit on our front porch & sing through them. She knew every single song in them by heart! I have quilts made by different family members dating from the civil war, through the great depression up to the ones my mom made for me. I have the iron baby bed that every family in our baby slept in from around 1900 through my son, born in 1993, the last baby to use it.
The list goes on & on. I’ve gotten rid of so many things but there is just so much. I recently made a road trip home, 1,000 miles & took all my moms old yearbooks to the local library. They were thrilled to have them thankfully because none of us wanted them. They were from the 1940’s.
Still, I do enjoy using alot of the kitchen things I have from past generations…I do use them every day. I’ve given my son permission to toss, sell, give away, burn….whatever all my stuff. It was so hard for me to let go of things because of the memories attached to my mother. I don’t think my son will have such a hard time dealing with letting go.
Emily E. says
Wow you do have an overwhelming situation, and unique. Your mother sounds amazing. I wonder have you checking into any historical groups that may be interested in some of those things that your mother spent a lot of time researching, cataloging and organizing? That would be a way to preserve their integrity and still have them be appreciated without you having to be their keeper. Just a thought. Kudos to you for appreciating all the effort your mother put into everything.
KAYTHEGARDENER says
I am the family historian & am trying to decide about my collection of French Canadian, Breton French & German from Russia family documents. I plan to give the applicable items to each national society, if my children or grandchildren don’t want the unified whole groups…
Tholl says
I think our generation has been forced to let go of things due to technology. If you consider music alone, as a young child we had vinyl, 8 track, then to cassettes, then to cd, then to digital; did they even have the word “upgrade” 100 years ago? Toys were first made of wood and metal, but soon switched into plastic and then cheaper plastic and even into getting toys with our meals. I do agree with the previous poster that mentioned longer life spans affect the need of the next generation as well.
Linda Bick says
Yes, I want my mothers antiques! The beautiful floral China from my great grandmother….all of it! But will I have the space for it? Probably not, breaks my heart…❤️ I hope that between my sister, myself, and my four children we can preserve some beautiful furniture and keepsakes.
Julie P says
Some of these stories are so sad, it’s not just the technological generation that makes us not want so many ‘things’. When my husband and I bought our first Home in 1983, my mother in law was astounded that we had a sofa, albeit donated, a fridge a cooker, in her mind we had everything. When she had got married just after the war she started with nothing. My parents were the same, I remember my mum getting her first washing machine. My mother in law never had one! So their generation was happy to inherit what few possessions the generation before them had acquired, they were probably useful and unless very well off they didn’t have many photographs etc. When my dad and brother died my mum downsized from a 6 bedroomed farmhouse to a three bedroomed house in town, she got rid of so much. I was sad about some things, I was in my early 40s then, fast forward 20 Year’s o the last five years when we lost both my husbands parents and my mum, I actually didn’t want anything. Weird. My mum and my mother in law had ‘best’ dinner sets. Nobody wants them! I’m trying to get rid of so much stuff and eventually I think we will just have a big bonfire! My sister kept all the photographs, I would have liked some especially of myself as a child but actually when I think about it, I don’t need anything else! I have my treasures and my children only want the vinyl and some old jewellery which would have passed to hem anyway so everything else needs to go. Now I need to find the time to deal with it.
Danielle says
To my grandfather, age 80ish, family heirlooms are a big deal, both the ones that he inherited and what he plans to give to whom. I think it is absolutely a generational thing. When his parents died, relatively young, there just wasn’t that much to go around and to remember them by. Every handmade doily was a big deal. Who got the family bible was a big deal. Too many siblings and not very many items of value.
I think it gives him comfort and joy to plan which of his valuables will go to which family member. But we already have so much, both materially and sentimentally. We have so many good memories of him and pictures, videos, etc. I don’t feel like I need my grandmothers ruby ring or his belt buckles because I have the memories of the time we’ve enjoyed.
The few small items I have from my other grandparents, I treasure these for their own reason but I don’t expect my kids to feel the same way.
Carrie Jordan says
I don’t refuse things offered to me because I know they are given out of love and a desire to share something valuable to them with me. I may not keep the item for long, but I take it. Having recently watched family deal with the death of a loved one I watched a change take place. Suddenly people decided they wanted the items that they had refused before because they represented a physical tie to the person. The most important thing to keep, above all else, is the actual history of your family. If there are photos take the time to ask who the people are and label them. Maybe you don’t really care, but maybe someday your kids or grandkids will. Geneology is my hobby and I can tell you that it pains me greatly to know that photos are destroyed. I recently shared the only photo of my GG grandfather with an online group of his descendants. Some of the people there who are into their senior years had never seen him before and were thrilled beyond words.
Shirley says
Too those people who are wondering what to do with a life time of photos here is how I managed ours. Firsts I “suggested” I would like a good quality scanner for a gift. Then I took every photo album went through and discarded the sceenry shots, blurry photos of someone blowing out birthday candles etc and scanned all the family photos. Took a whole winter. Then I uploaded all these photos on stick drives and gave them to my children and my sisters. They were over joyed. I have them on my computer and they are a constant slide show that gives everyone pleasure.
Angela D. says
What a wonderful, time-consuming gift you have given them! I do not doubt how thankful your children are…..my mother did the same thing for me, just after she retired and had the time to scan photos.
Val says
After experiencing a clean out of my Uncle’s house (my mother’s BIL) which included “heirlooms” from my deceased grandparents and Aunt, my mom started considering what she had. She had saved some of those “heirlooms.” I took what I wanted which were my grandparents wedding rings, my grandfather’s western boots, a tea set from my Aunt’s and her ruby ring. I have my uncle’s wedding ring and watch. My mother was a little surprised when I told her I only want a couple pieces of her good jewelry. No clothes, furniture, and none of the items that she saved from her family (photos excluded). Thankfully she did hear what I was saying and has pared a lot down and continues to do so.