Getting into the habit of NOT spending… is harder for some people than others.
Even though autocorrect was not our friend… I’m pretty sure you can decipher the texts between Mrs. HB and I yesterday.
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So I guess telling your friend you went through all the motions and that you really wanted to spend, but didn’t, is better than buying something, right?
Maybe this time next month {together with your help and encouraging words} we can get Mrs. HB to STOP walking into stores that she doesn’t need anything from.
Fingers crossed.
~Mavis
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Anita says
Stay strong Mrs. HB, stay strong. We’re all cheering for you. YOU CAN DO THIS!
Esther says
Is there any parks on Mrs. HB way home? Maybe she could pee and get a walk in while traffic clears out. Just and thought. Great job walking out of that store!
Nora says
Sorry to hear about your struggles Mrs. HB.
Anyway- Mavis, how could you recommend McDonalds? This way she is tempted to buy coffee or another quick snack.
Mrs. HB: Plan ahead! Go to the restroom before you jump in your car!
Laura says
Well, sometimes you just gotta go, even though you just went! At least a McD a coffee is only a dollar (less if you are a senior) and, if you use the app, the food is affordable as well. Hard to do too much damage there I think. And, if you need a splurge, that cookie for .50 to .79 is a bargain compared to Starbucks,etc. And, since she likes Diet Coke, a huge refillable cup is only a dollar as well. McD has been my splurge spot for several years now, though I don’t splurge very often any more.
Hang in there Mrs. HB, you are making GREAT progress!!
Nora says
Hi Laura, thanks for the insights. So McD seems affordable at you. Not so much here (Europe). Coffee and brownie usually makes 3-5€.
Mrs Hillbilly says
Mavis told me that McDs welcomes people that JUST NEED a pee break no purchase expected. I didn’t know this and actually tried to find one but it was not right off the HWY and I really needed to go ! Remember I am 50 and have had a couple of kids; if you know what I mean….;)
Laura says
Yep, three kids here, totally get it. And yes, McD’s in the suburbs (maybe not in urban areas) don’t mind the potty break with no purchase. And yes, Nora, McDonald’s in the US is a very affordable “pit” stop for families to make on the road. Very different in other places, but still more affordable in Europe than other options from my experience (with the exception of Switzerland, but even there, it was cheaper than local quick stop food places). Sometimes you need a potty or to whet your whistle.
Marcia says
Ha ha ha! I am closer to 50 than 40 with 2 kids, and I know EXACTLY what you mean. My 4 and 10 year old boys like to play tag. I take a lot of time outs.
McD’s is the place to pee. Their bathrooms are usually clean.
Stacey says
LOL! I feel like this every time I go into a store. I throw stuff in my cart and walk around the store and by the time I am ready to check out I have put “back” almost all of the items I’ve picked up. I’m messing up the order in the store but I am internally fighting the impulse to buy everything!
Maria says
She needs a guilt free no hassle budget. $10=20 ever so often that she can spend on whatever she wants. Then she can choose to save that money or spend it.
Danielle says
Target is usually one of my favorite places to stop for a bathroom break on a road trip BECAUSE the bathrooms are usually right up front and no one cares if you walk in and walk out without a bag of fries.
The trick, of course, is not going past the bathroom.
Lindsey says
Mrs hb must seriously love her coffee… it is a topic of conversation frequently!!
Mrs Hillbilly says
LOL Its more a need to have something in my hand , God bless I have never smoked! I do drink decaf, most of the time. In summer its D.coke but trying to get off that habit. Plus I hear coffee had antioxidant benefits.
MLewis says
If you need something in hand, carry a refillable water bottle? 🙂
Kimberly says
I am right there with you with the coffee, Mrs. HB. I am pretty frugal but I do love my coffee. Since hitting my goal (debt free including mortgage, with an emergency fund), I do budget for coffee stops. I put it on a gift card (fuel points from Kroger!), to keep to the budget. But I do get the urge. I think (not sure how Mavis feels about this…would love her input) that sometimes it’s good to have “rewards” in place for reaching goals. For me, I love coffee. For others, it might be something else. Most of the time though I take coffee with me, so that it is an occasional treat that i buy with ibotta money or as a rewards for investing a certain amount. I’m a coffee priss, so I like GOOD coffee, and I got for my birthday from dear husband a french press travel mug for those “travel with coffee” days.
You’re doing great, girlfriend. Keep it up. Celebrate those little victories. Menu planning is a huge help I think, especially planning based in your schedule. It’s a huge help for our family of 7.
Looking forward to this series, Mavis.
Jamie says
The problem with McDonald’s is a lot of times they make you buy something before you can use the bathroom!
Karin says
I’ve never experienced this. Where do you live that McDonalds requires a purchase?
Marybeth says
We use McDonalds all the time for potty breaks. Never had to purchase something. We drive up and down the East Coast.
Dena says
Here’s a plan to follow. Remake something into a container that has a lid on it. Put paper & pen into it. Place it near Mrs. HB’s wallet, purse, bum bag, etc. Mrs. HB physically puts $20 CASH into a container when she walks out the door. IF she returns home W/OUT purchasing ANYTHING unexpected, or beyond what she PLANNED to (advanced) spend on her outing, she takes $2 (FIGURATIVELY) from the $20 to spend (or save up to spend) on whatever she wants in the future, & the rest (figuratively & physically) goes into the savings account. She’s rewarded (twice) for not buying. She is also covered for that $1 McD’s coffee next time.
Staci says
Funny thing is that the things I want to buy are usually the things Mavis has posted!! LOL! I love that you find the great Amazon deals for me but I am going to resist those Sharpies!
Anonymous says
Me too!!!! I actually have said Sharpies!!! And I justify the purchase by telling myself I’m supporting Mavis!!! Well, Not This Year!!!! (Sorry Mavis! I do intend to link to Anazon through your blog though if I have a predetermined purchase I want to make! ☺)
Signing this one anonymously!
Jen says
Omgosh, right?? What is it with office supplies? They’re like crack to me! Haha!
Staci says
I’m known as the “teacher with the freshest Sharpies!” I supply the whole school! AND then I have my personal set that I won’t share with anyone! I really had to resist! They are like crack!
FarmGirl says
I love these posts and I like Mrs HB even more!! The struggle is real. Mrs HB and I would be horrible friends b/c we would probably enable each others bad shopping habits.
Mrs. C. says
Well, it seems to me that Mrs. HB needs some alone time. These stops on the way home sound like a way that she decompresses. I never stopped on the way home like this, no matter how long my commute. I just wanted to get home, and I would use the rest room before I left work.
I am not being mean or busting her chops, just observing that she may be using this to grab some time for herself. I don’t know her, but it may be somehing she wants to think about, and use that money for an actual weekly treat that she enjoys – maybe a massage?
Jen says
That’s a really good point Mrs. C. Maybe her shopping is a symptom of other things. They do call it “retail therapy” after all! In any case, I heavily applaud her for trying to make it better, and for seeing that talking through it with Mavis is the right way to do it. It’s awesome and inspriational. 🙂
Lace Faerie says
I agree. I often stopped on my way home to just get a breather before digging in at home. It was an hour when no one was asking me to do one more thing…
I used to drive the i-5 corridor between the Canadian border and Portland every 4-6 weeks. If I was alone, I never stopped at the rest stops along the highway. I always looked for a McDs or a Walmart (there is a big one at the Chamber Ave exit) for safety. It also was a safe dry place to stretch your legs and break up a six hour trip.
Aunt G says
Great job Mrs. HB. You have to tell yourself no something like 50-60 times in order to break an old habit. Hang in there–you’re doing mighty fine! We are all pulling for you!
Mrs. D says
Is there any among us that are perfect in our spending? I’m not and I don’t know anyone that is.
My motto for you Mrs Hillbilly is “Progress, not Perfection.” Works so well in many aspects of life. Exercise, eating better, etc.. as long as you are headed in the right direction you’re doing great! Soon it will be second nature.
Keep up the good work Mrs HB! You too Mavis! Sending good vibes your way!
Kim says
It’s like an AA sponsor/sponsoree relationship. Last fall (and still going strong) my co-worker and I became each other’s daily check-in buddy for our diet including exercise and water intake. I see strong similarities to the interaction here with Mrs. HB. While I don’t know for sure, often times it feels like what I imagine support from an AA sponsor to be like. AND IT WORKS!!!
Karin says
Sounds like you’re doing really great Mrs HB! I agree with Mavis that the key is to stay out of the stores. If you regularly stop on your way home, try to figure out all the possible “pee stops” on the route that don’t involve browsing in a store. Someplace with the bathrooms at the front of the store, a park (maybe a nice walk if you need to let traffic thin a little before you get back on the road), or at least a McDonalds where the temptation will probably only be a $1 coffee.( Also, all that coffee and diet coke may be why you have to pee so frequently!!! lol)
Stacie says
OMG I’m dying haha!! The struggle is real, hang in there Mrs. HB!!! I often stop for wee brakes at a large gas station; that way I can get in and get out without them really noticing since they’re usually a lot of people. If they do say something about the bathroom being for paying customers I say no worry my husband is just outside filling the car up (just don’t park right in front of the door and don’t try this at the same station every day lol).
Melissa in Fed Weezy says
Oh, Mrs. HB- if you are at the FW Target, the McDonald’s is kitty-corner to the mall! Good luck on your journey towards saving, rather than spending. It is such a hard habit to break. i am glad you have Mavis on your side.
Lauren says
“Like visiting an old lover” does that ever end well? Well done Mrs HB, I’m really enjoying this story. Xx.
Mrs Hillbilly says
Like I said NOT INTERESTED… I cringed when I saw that but then that’s what I put on the text… Maybe I should choose my analogies better. LOL
Lauren says
No it was perfect! My emoji didn’t come through, it was the crying laughing one.
bobbi dougherty says
lol, hilarious. Come on Mrs. HB, you can do this. Target used to be my best friend. Now I can’t remember the last time I was in there, lol. Seriously. Not even Christmas! Good luck, you got this!!!
Susan says
Way to go, Mrs HB! We all have struggles to overcome, and being able to watch you develop the new habits little by little is inspiring for so many others of us. Identifying those triggers when they occur, and reaching out to Mavis to help you through it, is a HUGE step in the right direction! You’ll have new habits established and reach your goals before you know it!
Carole says
This story is cracking me up! I love this journey esp the texts!! Mrs HB and Mavis do Costco!! This would be a great TV series. Please keep us posted on progress. This is such fun I look forward to you two every day!!
Sheri says
“So I guess telling your friend you went through all the motions and that you really wanted to spend, but didn’t, is better than buying something, right?”
YES!! At this point for her to walk out without anything is teaching her that you dont HAVE to buy all the time! I am a Thrift store addict..my mom was a dealer/reseller while I was in High School and she got me started on treasure hunting. I resell a little but also am a collector. Plus when I am employed its farm work so there is no reason to buy a new sweat shirt when you know within 5 mins of walking into the barn its gonna have horse snot or something on it..so I buy a lot of clothing there. I have now learned to ‘shop with my phone’ Take pics of all the cool things that I see and not buy it because ‘its only $1..or $5 or whatever. Thrifting IS my alone time..my see something new..get away from the normal..time. But it took a while for me to train myself that window shopping is ok.And on occasion if I find something to flip..its a little bonus. (Old Corning Ware is a weakness too..I have more than I will ever use but they are GREAT for freezer to oven storage) So Go for you Mrs HB!! You took a step forward!!
Robin says
Thank you for the laugh! Mavis remember it’s baby steps, and Mrs. HB I applaud your efforts, but listen to your good friend Mavis, she has sage advice. Think of it as stopping by the grocery store and you only need one item and you end up with a cart full. If you wait till your weekly or biweekly (dare I say) shopping trip you will spend less.
Cheryl says
This part: So I guess telling your friend you went through all the motions and that you really wanted to spend, but didn’t, is better than buying something, right?
This is what I had to go through when I quit smoking. You determine the triggers first and then replace the habits and then it is all about willpower!
Laura T. says
This reminds me of when my friend & I joined Weight Watchers together. Unfortunately it was before the holidays. I remember calling her once from the middle of the Christmas goodies aisle at Target! I said I needed help getting out of there & not buying any sweets. Over the phone she instructed me to turn around & keep walking away from the treats. It worked! I have a hard time walking into places like HomeGoods & not buying something. I’m better off not even going in. I don’t drink alcohol so I relied on retail therapy many times instead when I’m sad or stressed! I’m getting better. This blog has helped me in many ways like getting back into saving money instead of spending money. It’s actually quite fun! I’m even setting goals for myself which is something I never knew how to do. Good luck to you, Mrs. HB!
tia in boise says
giggling at the text and then guffawing at “you know i’m posting this”…
FYI: i know where every. single. one. of the mcd’s in my city is–as i have used each one of them at some point for just bathroom purposes. how many times have you gone somewhere and NOT used the bathroom? i say fair game!
Brianna says
I think Mavis was in my head today! I was at Costco getting my 2 flat tires fixed today and all I could think was don’t get a buggy, you only need bacon, 1 item only, you have to wait an hour, flip through the books or people watch, remember the books are probably available at my library. I had a pack of cold bacon in my hand and couldn’t sample with my other hand or grab other items, even flipping through the cookbooks was a pain with one hand. I walked out spending only $12 on bacon and nothing else. I would have been there if it wasn’t for my tires and bacon was the only Costco item on my list. Thanks Mavis, you saved me from buying a cookbook, sampling and buying Carmel corn and everything else! Cheapest trip ever fo me!
Mrs HB says
Way to go Brianna!!!!
Jenny Young says
It is absolutely better to walk to the edge & call a friend (or test!) than to go on over! Having someone hold us accountable is the best thing. It’s not the temptations that should discourage us…we will be tempted….as long as we walk away, it’s always a win.
Kim says
Well Said.
Tammy says
I have never thought of using stores as bathroom breaks along a trip. McDonald’s, gas stations, even Starbucks (but don’t buy anything! LOL) are all my first thoughts. The bathrooms at Starbucks are always clean!
Helen in Meridian says
I am a thrift store addict too. Because you cover the whole store, I find something and put it in my cart. I often leave everything in a cart near the dressing room, especially if I think I might go back and buy it the next day, before someone else finds it.
Mrs. HB is doing great. She takes her daughter to 4H and has 2 hours to kill. She also takes the Boy Scouts to meetings and outings. This gives her time to kill while she waits. You go Mrs. HB. Hope you keep doing decorating research for your job at Home Goods etc. Just leave most in a cart. But don’t totally deny yourself that one special deal.
Denise says
When Mrs. HB has time to kill while waiting for her kids, I have a suggestion which has worked for me very well. I always have some reading material on my phone and I read – it saves me carrying a bulky book around. The other thing I do is, I knit. I always have a small project going, one that fits into a ziplock and lives (mostly) in my purse. I pull it out whenever I have some time, and quite honestly, I try to make each stitch into a prayer. After a while, you’ve logged lots of prayer time that you would not otherwise have had, and you end up with something useful and pretty that you have made yourself. I have a large, faux leather tote bag that I carry around. It looks very nice and stylish. I have a very small purse with a shoulder strap that fits my wallet, a tuning fork (don’t ask), lip gloss, brush, tic tacs and tiny pad of paper with a tiny pen. I put the purse into the tote and pull it out whenever I don’t want to carry the entire thing, like at the grocery store. Today, the tote has my purse, a shawl I’m knitting as a present (it’s relatively small as these things go), my lunch bag (sandwich, cup of homemade soup, a grapefruit, cutlery and napkin all in an insulated lunch box), some mail I need to drop off, my bullet journal, a bottle of water (been refilled at the tap at least 30 times so far), and an extra cord to juice up my phone. I’ll be gone nearly 12 hours today. Waiting at home is a pot of kale and chorizo soup I made last night and a baguette. Life is good. 🙂